Strength is depleting

[Will83]

I am ready to give up. I feel I find something good and it vanishes. Quitting smoking is a mother "lover"....anxiety is a pain in the rear....but depression that's my Achilles heel.

Dark clouds fog my mind

I fall from the sky I find

Screw the world around me

As my strength begins to flee

Angels that whispered to my soul

Have seemed to let go

Driving fast thru depressions gate

Holding my life to fate

I decided to try it

Then the angel went quiet

No more happy thoughts here

Only darkness pain and fear

Guess no Yogi bear in sight

Tho I tried with all my might

As I fall from the sky I find

Dark clouds fog my mind

Why the depression? Can it really mean that much to me? I think so maybe. Frankly I don't blame it for coming on. Came so far and got so close....but what for? Why did I survive everything I've been thru? I shouldn't be here after everything. Am I being tortured? Am I needed for something else? My happy mind tucked itself in the corner and wrapped itself in a blanket. The feeling of sadness is overwhelming and too much to bear 😔😵☠️

How do I stop this feeling? Why can't I be normal?! Why?.......just why? What did I do?

I scared away the angel or made it mad...cuz it no longer responds to my pleas

[Super-]

Will, you're very good at expressing yourself. That's a good thing. I'm sorry that you feel so depressed and can't seem to find a way out. One thing you didn't mention is what options you've tried.

The obvious first question is have you seen a doctor? Meds, therapy, lifestyle changes may really benefit you. Quitting smoking is a great thing to do for yourself. If you were successful maybe you can build on that. Make another healthy change in your life. If not maybe find some small change that you can make like walking around the block, or spending time with a pet. Anything to kickstart some positive feelings for you to build on.

I completely understand your feeling about this being torture and questioning why this is happening to you. I often feel the same way and I don't have an answer. Wow do I wish I did! All I can suggest is to find something you like or enjoy and put your focus there, as long as it's healthy. The return to a life you love may take time, just like you didn't get to where you are in a day.

I feel for you. Hang in there and be patient with yourself

[Rlich]

Hang in there Will. We can all relate. As Super stated; you didn't get to where you are in a day & it will take some time to get out of the place/state you are in. Prayer is a good start...

[BunnyMomma18]

Congrats on quitting smoking.