I have been born with anxiety, or so it seems as i don't remember myself being calm for a longer periods of time. I had very loving yet somewhat lonely and sheltering childhood. I grew up, finished college and at age of 21 with my boyfriend moved from Europe to US (long story). It was incredible shock for my nervous system and it took me about seven years to get somewhat adjusted: learn the language, culture and also how to live without my biggest support sytem, my family. It was definitely not easy and took toll on my mental health. I was prescribed SSRI for the first time in my life and the age of 24 and i have been on and off meds since. I was struggling yet i was able manage majority of my symptoms. Also finished another college, got a degree, job and ultimately i become a mom. Life was not easy but at least i had many things to be thankful for. My mom moved to US to help me with the baby and we stayed together since.
At the age of 37 i went through really terrible divorce and if my mom wasn't there i would have been mentally finished. She stood by me as a rock and the nightmare was finally over although it took me and my child another few years of therapy to fully recover. I was feeling hopeful again. In the fall of 2017 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and passed away 6 weeks later. The loss was inconsolable. I felt like I've lost everything yet there was my son and he became the reason i went on. He graduated this year with an eager desire to be independent. I am happy for him and proud. He has a good head on his shoulders.
My mental health declined significantly over the years and i find myself more lonelier than ever as i live alone and work remotely. At times it's hard to find a reason to start a day. I guess to all my bouquet of symptoms i have to add the empty nest syndrome as a centerpiece.
Are any of you in a similar situation..how do you deal with it?
Wishing good day to all and thank you for reading 🌞
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Roia
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I live a very isolated existence and find a lot of help online. I think after living the way I have for over half my life, I've grown more accustomed to being alone. I've always had animals around and get a tremendous amount of company from my kitty.
This would be a great time to broaden your horizons, meeting people you match well with may not be easy but it's usually a worthwhile effort. Perhaps you could find people who have similar interests or values.
Covid has sadly limited things but there are still groups out there. As a pagan, I realize that I am missing out somewhat on the more organized faith-based groups out there, perhaps that is something worth checking out?
I wish you well, it can be truly painful to go through life lonely all the time.
Thank you for your reply and hearing me out EndUser13 💕I wish i could have a cat too, my landlord won't allow it sadly. ... love cats though : )The older I get the pickier I become in terms of socializing with people and making new friends yet I know I must try and I will.
I'm sorry for your loss. And the pandemic hasn't helped anyone as far as making and maintaining connections. You will find a good community of supportive people here who will read and respond if they feel they can offer something. Sometimes just knowing someone read my post helps, although I don't post much. I do respond though. Even if just to say 'Hello' and I read your post.
I do feel your pain with seeing our children grow and leave. It's tough.
Thank you for your kind words. I feel no matter where it comes from pain is tough to process and sharing your experience with the world might be less confining. My mantra is one day at a time now..because when my mind gets anxious i like to travel into the future and get even more anxious. Good weekend to you!💕
Hi. Oh my I feel your situation! Life can be so difficult and we must endure. You need a friend or . Nfriends. Do you believe in Jesus Christ? Many many people find that that was missing from their life. I also suffer from anxiety and sadness. Good luck!
Thank you Operalady. I like opera too! : )I respect all religions yet i don't practice. I do yoga and spend a lot of time outdoors. That calms me down tremendously.
Life is hard, full of trials and struggles. You have been through a lot. I would suggest some counseling to help you navigate through your feelings and loss.
I have also been through many things - teen pregnancy, marriage, divorce, depression. If it was for the gospel of Jesus Christ and having faith in his Word and promises, I would find it hard to navigate in this world along. He gives me the strength i need to face trials and fills me with hope that one day I will be in His presence where there will no longer be any pain and suffering, but pure bliss!
I hope that you can find that peace that transcends all understanding. Blessings.
Hello Roia, Yes I suffer a lot. Right now I want to die just die. My family has been struggling forever . I have been told by my brother that I am the cause of his problems. My family has been plagued by alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness and for me depression, anxiety and mental illness for sure! It was hard for me to concentrate in the 2 -3 grade due to my mothers drinking. She would get drunk every other day and become violent towards my dad! My two bothers and I grew up in that. Later two more girls were born but things just got worse. My older brother was always in trouble , drugs and institutions. I believe he was neglected and abused while in the care of my mothers friend. My second brother followed suit by getting hooked on heroine, became homeless but managed to become stable for 16 years in another state while on the Methadone program. He came back to California and after having an unfortunate argument with my husband who brought up the past, my brother became paranoid and is blaming me for his life long troubles. I had to get a restraining order. So so painful I just want to die. Thanks for listening sorry for unloading on you! God bless
Well i don't know how you can you be responsible for your brother's trouble... I see victims throughout the story..parents for not receiving help, children who had no choice but to grow up in this environment . I've read somewhere that things happens to us because we deserve it OR we allowed them to happen. It's rather hard to understand how children deserve dark times unless you believe in karma and it's something from our past life that manifest itself in a present.
I feel the only way to escape this mental prison of darkness is to seek light. And it can be different things like religion, mindfulness, gratitute and just simple NOTHING lasts forever.
Big hugs..you are having very difficult times. Let this pass through you. Don't hold it in. Trust the Universe it always works for your benefit, yet many times we don't see it that way. Sending you positive vibes.
Hello Roia, Sorry, I am not on here much, but wanted to respond. I definitely know about empty nest! You asked how do you find strength and reason to move on. I still struggle with that. My answer is just one day or sometimes one hour at a time. You have no choice. The pain is not as intense as the very beginning, but I still struggle. I try to distract myself and not think about all the good times that happened because then I will get depressed because it's all over. Pets do help somewhat People say I should be happy because I raised strong, independent kids, but it would be nice for them to need/want to be around.
Sorry, I don't have any inspiring words of wisdom, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It drives me crazy that most people I know, their adult kids are still home or they are glad that their adult kids are gone.
Thank you SadMommy.. Definitely one day at the time. Let's not forget this is a relatively new case of separation . Our ancestors lived in communities and families and never really ventured far away. Generations lived under the same roof and that makes sense to me. I am sure they had problems and many i think yet they never suffered from loneliness ..
Roia your story is a common one amongst those of us that have dealt with depression in our lives. It seems as if it all goes wrong at the same time, doesn’t it? Like kicking a man when down type unfair. Tell me more about the most common feelings you get day to day, what is the emotion you feel and where do you feel it in your body? Do you know the triggers for said feelings?
Mental illness is like a cross we carry throughout our lives..or so it seems. I really wish society would be friendlier and more acceptable to all of us struggling.
Hi Roia. So sorry for your losses and your current struggles. It’s clearly been a tough road for you but in reading your post what strikes me is what you’ve accomplished in your life DESPITE the hurdles and roadblocks that have been placed in front of you. Just as one example, raising and loving a son to where he’s in a position to be independent and forge his own way with a solid foundation that you laid for him. And there’s much much more. I’m not suggesting that you live in the past ….only that you see how far you’ve actually come. It’s quite remarkable.
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