Newcomer

[Chosen13]

Hello everyone. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for some time now. I'm trying to find a way to stray away and get back to normal, so I joined this group. I saw a lot of motivation and it's something that I very much need at this moment in my life.

[ElJared91]

Hello there!! Believe me when I say you've come to the right place to find people like you who are struggling with anxiety and depression :-). Anything in particular that you wish to elaborate on within your life that might have made you feel this way? Although it's not critical to necessarily find the cause (right away), it certainly goes a long way in finding a long-term solution.

[Chosen13]

It's not really one specifically. It's a lot of stress that's built up and I really don't talk to anyone. I feel as if I'd be judged. Although I have friends and close relatives to talk to it's just something inside me won't open up to them.

[Hidden in reply to Chosen13]

You are not alone with that feeling. I had a very hard time with depression and anxiety after my brainsurgery. I don't know what happened to me. I live alone and went to bed on a Friday night and 4 days later I was severly injured. It didn't occure to me to call an ambulance. I was falling down and couldn't see well. I was seeing things that were not there. My left arm wouldn't work and I didn't understand why. I had what to me looked like scratches. My brother came by and called and ambulance. For some weird reason the EMT's took me to the waiting room and put me in a wheel chair and told me to register. I became so agitated I tried to leave. After 3 hrs I saw a Dr who did xrays and an MRI. He came back pretty quick and told me I had a skull fracture and braincancer. My left arm was broken. The scratches were large holes that went down through the muscles on my hip, leg and back. I argued with the Dr because it didn't seem like a skull fracture could turn into brain cancer. So I called my only child and her first words cut like a knife. She said, " What do you want I'm busy ?" The nurse wanted her phone number and she somehow convinced her to come but I was so scared and upset by then I really didn't care if I woke up after surgery or not. My brother came and after the surgery I woke up with a bad headache but glad to hear I had a brainbleed. My head felt like a whiffel ball. I went home 3 days later still not knowing what happened to me. I have been so afraid and filled with anxiety and depression most days I don't even want to get out of bed much less out of the house. My family thinks I look just fine so I must be just lazy. It is very heart breaking to get treated better by strangers than your own family. Except my youngest brother who has never been nuturing stayed with me for a week. He washed dishes and cooked. Thank God for brothers. I have learned to keep my feelings to myself until I go to my Dr once a month. He has been my life saver. He tried me on every antidepressant until we found one that works. I don't sit and cry anymore. I also learned I am not important to anyone but myself. After raising my daughter for 18 years and she went off to college I guess I must have been a horrible mother and didn't know it. I know now. So anyone who is depressed do talk to people who help you feel better about yourself. Love yourself. You need to feel good about yourself. Your feelings are very important. Care for others and let them care back.

Thank you guys for reading this. .

[Bekay in reply to Hidden]

Thank you,to brokenat21

You right really well for somebody who has been through so much, I hope to hear from you again someday.

Thanks again,

Bekay

[Hidden in reply to Bekay]

Thanks for reading my story. Knowing you're not alone and others are in that same boat. It is hard to imagine how a life people call normal would be. Then maybe this is normal. Maybe others hide it better.

[Bekay in reply to Hidden]

I'm pretty sensitive, I think everything is normal.

[Bekay in reply to Bekay]

Thanks,

Bekay

[Chosen13 in reply to Hidden]

How are you now? I'm glad you're a survivor! I understand what you mean about strangers treating you better than family. Sometimes it not that you're a bad parent. You raised her and she went to college to further her education . That was what you had to do. She was well taken care of I'm sure of it. Sometimes mother and daughters don't see eye to eye, but one day hopefully she will realize you only get one mother. You're right tho. Nobody's gonna love you better than yourself. Nobody but God. But sometimes he puts us through these tests and it's up to us on the decisions we make. One thing I would recommend having a one on one heart to heart moment with her. You may get understanding for the way she feels and she'll know how you feel. (It's funny I can give great advice but struggle myself. I guess it's part of the learning process. But in your situation with your daughter I'm speaking from experience.) I'm praying things continue to get better For you. Only the strong survive and from what it looks like you are. Remember he won't put more on you than you can bear.

[Hidden in reply to Chosen13]

I pray everyday that see does see everything I worked for was for her to have more in life than I did. I maybe gave her too much . I don't regret all I did do so she could have a better life. Maybe working so much was not the right thing to do. I don't even really know where we got so lost. She is not a very forgiving person. Maybe I should have pushed harder on that. I am so sick of my maybe's. I would like more knows. It's like pulling teeth. I know God isn't finished with me yet or I'd already be gone. Maybe it's one thing or one person I am suppose to do the right thing for or maybe 10. I am still learning 1 day at a time. Thank you for sharing.

[Hidden in reply to Chosen13]

I am 60.

[Divaa]

Hello me too going through anxiety please talk with me

[Bekay in reply to Divaa]

Divaa,hi there,what's going on ,its a pretty cloudy and cool day here in western mass, I like those days. I was feeling a little frustrated today, took my med started checking out this site and responding to some posts, reading the replies and I've settled down a bit. Hope to hear from you ,good people here maybe I mind be able to suggest a coup names that helped me with some good replies to my posts.

[Divaa in reply to Bekay]

Please I would like to talk to people that suffer from anxiety possibly depression tell me some symptoms they are having

[Hidden in reply to Divaa]

None of us asked for this and don't understand it either. I will talk to anyone who feels depressed and wants someone to listen. It is very important to have someone hear you.

[Divaa in reply to Hidden]

Please talk to me

[Bekay in reply to Divaa]

Are you there, have you been reading these post,Divaa

From,Bekay

[Chosen13 in reply to Divaa]

Hey I would love to talk with you. I'm new to this, but I've noticed they have direct message also.

[Bekay in reply to Chosen13]

Not sure if you sent me,but I'm hear,I like the direct messaging also ,a couple days ago some girl was talking directly to me with it ,it is pretty intense, like you have a friend, like when you send a text to your brother or something.

[Chosen13 in reply to Bekay]

It's a great feeling. Just becoming a member and I feel very much welcome. Thank you guys!

[Hidden in reply to Bekay]

Where is it? Is it the Messenger that loads for free from Google or one inside this site?

[Bekay in reply to Hidden]

If you go to a persons profile for this site you will see at the bottom right of the profile page it will say message

[Hidden in reply to Chosen13]

I did not notice the direct message. I am sure some people do feel better talking to one sometimes.

[Bekay in reply to Chosen13]

I'm here ready to talk

Bekay

[Hidden in reply to Divaa]

How are you?

[Bekay]

Diva,I'm feeling OK right now, but stay in touch I'll bet I be getting pretty anxious soon my phone might be down in a couple day like around the first and second of August do to a lack of money, but Mt younger brother hopefully he said HW would loan me the thirty five dollar fee to keep Mt service on ,until unemployment kicks in hopefully it kicks in ,you see I could make myself sick over this but like Agora1 said "It's a waste of energy and time, because everything seems to work out in the end ", then I realize I got myself sick for nothing again.

[Divaa in reply to Bekay]

Please talk to me

[Chosen13 in reply to Bekay]

I pray it all works out in your favor. I know the unemployment can be tough. I recently lost my job, but I'm not giving up.

[Hidden in reply to Chosen13]

I hope you find a job you like. It means alot to know you don't have to worry about that on top of so many other things that we have to face.

[Bekay]

Thanks for the reply

[Divaa]

Well let's message then

[Bekay]

Welcome, this is a great site seems to be helpful, gives me a sense of purpose

[EuroJoy]

Glad you've come to this place. Hope you will get some people to chat with. Most importantly, know that God loves you and when you come to Him with all your anxieties, He will exchange it with His peace.