New to the Group

[Keema1]

Hi.. I'm a 40 year old female suffering with anxiety and depression .. As I've aged I've found myself getting worst, I tend to have negative thoughts about myself and find that I have a difficult time relating to other women, most dislike me right away .. I'm here to learn how to move pas this and find support..

[Shelfie9]

I am 46 years old and only realized I had anxiety for all of my life about 6 years ago, I cope better now but it gets the best of me often. I suffer on the inside only always presenting a happy and fun exterior. My codependency is my biggest feeder, I feel like I have no best friend or a significant other, my anxiety is typically that I never will have it. I have friends but I don't feel close to them, I'm dating someone and waiting for them to dump me. I hate it and work on pushing the negative thoughts away but was also hoping to find comfort and support here. Let me know if you would like to continue to chat. It helps.

[samjon1 in reply to Shelfie9]

Hello

Sorry for that feeling of friends to dump you. Am passing through the very same experience, I started internship last month but now I see my supervisor is getting fade up with me, don't know how I will complete internship

[Shelfie9 in reply to samjon1]

Have you considered asking your supervisor how you are doing? You can steer it with the first question... what am I doing well? Force him or her to find something good to say and then say thank you. Once you have digested that if you want to be successful you may have to ask "is there anything I can improve" and make sure only the things provided to you to improve are in your control. Good luck, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for...

[samjon1 in reply to Shelfie9]

Thanks, have not asked him yet but the signs I see from him and my past experience in relationships with bosses all point to that however now I'm trying to be more perfect with my assignments because I believe I have to be successful though these days have been somehow hopeless, very weak in body generally and it affected my performance which I also think is one of the triggers. Thanks for your advice let me keep trying

[tomhealy]

Hello,

First of all I am curious to the age of onset that you realised you were depressed and/or suffering with anxiety? You mentioned that you feel that you are getting worse with age for someone with depression this is a common though that you are getting worse and not better, people with depression often face something called a cognitive triad which is a triangle at each point containing the following "negative views about oneself" - "negative views about the world" - "negative views about the future". This explain the common thought that you feel you are getting worse (fitting into the category of oneself and the future).

Your problem with relating to others the same age as you, I cannot comment on without a bit of background and more detailed information, how do you see yourself compared to others in these three categories (a) interests (the way you relate to what they do) (b) relationships (how are you at keeping friendships that you do have (c) state of mind (how you view yourself and how you think they view themselves).

When you say that "they dislike me right away" what is it that leads you to draw this conclusion? What behaviour do they exhibit to give off this impression? Do you know that they don't like you or are you guided into believing this because of the view you have of yourself and project these views onto others in a form of projection or displacement of your own self evaluation.

Reply back if you want to chat more,

Wish you the best,

Tom

[vezbecca44]

I'm the same age, I find it getting worse for me as well. I think it's maybe a hormonal thing. Maybe pre menapause. Idk..but it's awful

[positive223]

Cbt therapy might help.