Recently retired. Anxious about nothing specific

[Pearldeli]

Although I am relatively healthy, happily married, financially stable, my kids and grandkids are all doing well, I often find myself depressed and anxious. As a result, I get angry with myself for feeling this way for no apparent reason, which brings on more depression and anxiety.

[mysmugcat]

I'm sorry to hear this. Have you felt this way for a while? Unfortunately mental illness affects all people as you no doubt know. Are you bored?!

Read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne as a suggestion-you can often get in the library. It is roughly about positive thinking but a lot more. Make a gratitude jar. Every day put a positive thing or more things that happened in the day and read them at the end of the week/month...

Have you sought any help for your feelings eg from a doctor?

Good luck.

[Pearldeli in reply to mysmugcat]

Thanks for your concern. Yes, I find myself bored most of the time. Watch too much TV, just hang around the house doing nothing, etc. I'll look into that book you recommend. Doctor gave me anti-depressants but I don't want to start relying on meds. My dad suffered from the same problem; anxiety without any apparent cause, so maybe it's genetic. Can depression and anxiety be genetic? Who knows? Anyway, thanks for responding. It helps to know that complete strangers care enough to write me.

[KrierandRosie in reply to Pearldeli]

I retired at 62. I am glad not to be at my job, but I wonder what I will do with the rest of my life. I have tried to find a part time job but so far nothing. I am so used to working I had no idea I would feel so useless. So I know what you mean!

[Hidden in reply to KrierandRosie]

KrierandRosie and Pearldeli, I feel the same way. Got a small part time job at a library but my anxiety still crops up with a simple job. Have nothing to do at home other than basic maintenance. It really sucks!

[Whonbarger1]

I always imagined what it would be like when my husband and I got older. It is nothing like I imagined. I feel helpless and angry at anything that I come across I use my faith in God to get me through but cannot make myself go to the church. Will they see me as a crazy person that just cannot get themselves together for an hour for mass. My self confidence is gone I feel useless and lonely. My husband works long days and it is just me and my 15 year old dog. Money is a big issue. We only can afford a limited health plan which covers almost nothing, I pay all them 10.00 a month and when it turned over to a collection agency I can only send them 10.00 a month. I have to depend on my husband for every dime. I am waiting on disability (is this not my money anyway that I have worked for all my life?) almost three years now! I requested a trial because who are these people who decide my future behind a desk and not even know me all I am is a number to them. If I were able to work I would I've tried but when you are afraid even to go out your front door that is a problem! I in the past would jump into my car and drive where ever I wanted to all my family is in another state. My sisters do call and keep in touch and I many times in tears I call them. This is a true life sucks moment ! This cannot last forever or at least make it easier to deal with. I want my independent life back and ability to get out with the rest of the world. Well that is enough complaining for now I am open for ideas.

[Jaco2016]

Sorry you feel this way especially given your good circumstances financially, family, etc. Do you feel involved with your kids and grandkids? Do you offer babysitting and such to get involved with the grandkids? Are you able to travel or volunteer with your spouse? Are you able to exercise with other retirees? Hope you feel better

[Pearldeli in reply to Jaco2016]

Thanks for your good advice; what you recommend I gather is simply to get up and do things, get involved with the grandkids and friends and such. I'll try that, even though my sadness and anxiety tend to immobize me. I guess I should force myself to get active. Thanks for your good wishes as well.

[Jaco2016 in reply to Pearldeli]

Did you have this anxiety before retiring ? If so could definitely be genetic imo. If not then I'm guessing it's situational and you haven't adjusted to not having a regular routine , schedule , etc like you did while working. So that's why I was thinking trying to get involved in some way. I know how paralyzing anxiety can be - maybe if you're feeling overwhelmed just doing something small even if it's like vacuuming or something 🙂

[Jaco2016]

BTW can you give any advice about how to achieve financial stability for retirement? That is something I get very worried about especially after my dad lost his home and all of his retirement due to some poorly planned financial decisions . He still has to work and he's almost 77 years old.

[Meeasy]

I have anxiety about my upcoming retirement so I can relate. I'm looking forward to a new chapter and some freedom but I struggle when I don't have structure.

-My advise is to make a plan for each day in advance to create structure. Do things outside of your comfort zone. Volunteer, excercise, take a class, grow a garden , get a hobby. I've created a profile on Meetup.com. It's not a dating site but a place to find local groups of people with similar interest. The topics of interest are numerous and it's free.

-I would also advise to avoid social media. For me, I can fall into a trap of comparing my insides with other people's outsides. Then I get depressed about my mundane life

-Also, try to avoid news and politics They use fear to generate emotional reactions and fuel anxiety. Too much sugar and caffeine aren't good either.

-Practice gratitude and acceptance A wise tradition defines suffering as the desire for things to be different than what they are and the way to end suffering is to accept things as they are.

Easier said than done but I wish you well Good luck ✌️

[Hidden]

No one prepares us emotionally or psychologically for retirement, do they? We take pride in our work, earn a paycheck, have people around us that stimulate our minds. Now there is all this free time and don't know what to do with it. Nature hates a vacuum, and I am wondering if your anxiety, depression, and anger are filling that vacuum. Finding meaningful, downright productive ways to spend time isn't always easy, in fact it's downright hard. If I have managed to hit the nail on the head, let me know. Been there, am doing that. It takes awhile to find how to spend this time of our lives. And constant vigilance to notice an opportunity we could enjoy.

Today by accident I saw a part time no brainer position as a clerk that required good people skills and a high school education and preferred someone with a psych or social work experience. It involves working in pregnancy and adoption services by a well-known organization....so I sent an email. I'm over educated out the kazoo, but hope I am considered for the position as there is little responsibility and an opportunity to make a difference in a small way. I still have some volunteer work, but it costs me money to participate in that work. The modest income for the clerk's job would offset that. Rather like the karma feel to all this.

And it's only taken about four years of trying other things people suggested before this popped up. lol

Best wishes in your efforts to fill your retirement with meaning and activity and perhaps some of the things in your bucket list.

[gogogirl]

Congratulations on your retirement and other positives in your life!

[Ravenhoney]

when I read your post, I would have thought you were talking about me. Too funny. I have been looking for a part time job. Got an interview next week. Pretty excited. How about a little part time job or volunteer work. May help.

[gogogirl]

The fact that you are financially stable is huge. Many people are not for various reasons. I like the idea of a gratitude jar. Have you seen a doctor to see if there is anything physical that is causing this? You mention that you are happily married- is your partner also retired? Sometimes change ( even a positive one like retirement) can trigger some emotions I have heard. Did you enjoy the job from which you retired? Perhaps volunteering at something similar or even taking a small but enjoyable job to keep busy can also help. Remember you are retired not expired!

[menagerie11]

I am nearing retirement and actually am not looking forward to it. I have worked all of my life and I really like the interaction, stimulation, challenge, etc. I am off this week and don't really know what to do with myself. There is a lot of work that could be done around the house but I am also feeling anxious and depressed and it's hard to get at it, although I have been doing some things - just not as much as I would like if I were feeling more like myself. I think that most people have a need to be productive and to be contributing in some way and that we do that for the most part through our work. When that goes, we have to find other ways to be productive and contributing. I can't do any volunteering yet, but perhaps when I retire, I will find something in the line of volunteering to do. It doesn't help that we live in the country and there are no people around most of the time. I drive into town just to see people, cars, dogs, kids, etc. I think that I am partially bored, partially depressed and partially anxious. What a combination.

[Hidden in reply to menagerie11]

I am in the same boat as you. The combination of boredom, depression, and anxiety are a killer!

[morenews]

This is very typical for beginning of retirement: it is a transition period. And it is important to stay busy and active and socially enclosed with people at that time. I will look up a little later but a saw a great site for those issues. It would go away if you address it and follow advices how to deal with period in your life. And also we adjust to a new situation ... thank God...transition is the most difficult time though, it gets easier( as I have read)

[KrierandRosie]

It seems a lot of us have the same thing in common. I wish you lived closeby so we could have get-togethers. Some anxiety and depression is genetic and some is learned behavior. Either way, it is very painful. I had a structure when I was working and now I have no clue what is next. I often cannot sleep at night wondering when things will get better. I am on a fixed income, meaning, if some serious problem were to take place and I needed money, it would be tough. I am ok as long as no serious issue appears, which can happen at this age. I hate the feeling of emptiness, loneliness and uselessness.