surrender with confidence day 1

[Emmalou1721]

welcome to my open journal of my 31 day healing path here i will be looking at things that i have trouble with and invite others to join me to heal the wounds we have stuffed down so far. I am not a a therapist or psychologist just someone who is being their own therapist.

Not to long ago i was watching a show with my daughter shes two by the way. This show for preschoolers had a very angry little cow upset that she didn't get what she wanted, and wasn't very nice to her friends, so her friends talked her down she then went to feeling sad, for being mean to her friends when she was mad, and they all talked about how it's normal to have emotions, but not to mean when were mad sometimes we don't get what we want, and that's ok. they carried on laughing hugging and being best friends. very sweet moment.

I think about that show, and other programs she watches about emotions a lot, and i do wonder why as we get older happiness is the only choice we have... It makes me feel guilty im not happy all the time, but I've come to like sadness, sadness can bring empathy, and understanding to others, relating to their pain, because you have been there. anger can show us patience which i'm still working on lol.

Anxiety poor anxiety it's just trying to warn of us danger, yes anxiety has a natural role within our lives, BUT at times it can be a little overprotective of our own well being, like don't get to close to people that hurt a lot last time you loved with all your heart, or don't write all of this are you crazy!? people are going to laugh and think you're stupid. (you see what im talking about) Yes, anxiety can be overbearing having us magnify every move we make making sure we don't look like an idiot, or do something stupid, thinking about every possible outcomes.

It's almost like the voice of a nagging caretaker, but can we sit back with the anxiety, and reassure it everything is ok, and we will be careful "mom" were doing the best we can. Can we give it kindness instead. We all know this far anxiety is here for the ride, so can we offer a seat for it be kind, because so far fighting it has made it worse for me, and trying to cure it hasn't worked for me, and im tired of fighting at this point, so im choosing kindness, and daring to love every raw emotion that makes me uncomfortable.

What you do today strengthens tomorrow.

We can either feed the anxiety, by fighting with it trying to control it feed the narrative of im not good enough, or whatever your tagline is, and get caught in the endless battle, or we can start by accepting yes this is a part of me it is uncomfortable, but i want to love myself and be nice to all parts of me and tell the anxiety in a gentle way everything will be ok, I love you, I see you're trying to protect me thank you.

EXERCISES FOR TODAY.

1) start with just observing the anxiety, or feeling . What are you feeding it, or believing about yourself, or what could happen? If you are feeling bold send the anxiety kindness this could take a while, but in the mean time just work on making peace with your mind.

2) Accept yourself, and the flux of emotions you have. It's a beautiful thing to embrace these things.

3) Be confident about doing this. This is boot camp for the mind. yes, it will be persistent work, and we will be uncomfortable, but you're not alone.

Everyday

Gratitude list. even if its the simple rise and fall of your breath you are here alive going through all this suffering, and you can rise up.

[AnxietyBarbie]

Very powerful message. This post is what I needed to read right now. I agree that anxiety is overprotective, and I like the way you view it as it trying to protect ourselves from danger. All this time I've despised my anxiety for making me feel like crap, but it is a part of me that I need to accept. Confidence in managing my anxiety is something I've been working on lately and it is a struggle. Sometimes I feel like I surrender and bow down to my anxiety and allow it to just consume my mind with negative thoughts, the more I fear it, the more power I feed it.

[Emmalou1721 in reply to AnxietyBarbie]

Thank you so much. I know this is a bit of a stretch doing this 31 day journey inviting others with me, but the more I write and invite my anxiety in it helps me understand it, and I hope I can help others understand it as well. I feel you on working with the acceptance of anxiety. It's very uncomfortable, and I think at one point it became so familiar with living with it that it's a little intimidating letting go of it. It's a strange paradox lol.