Give Yourself Some Grace

[SurvivorAria]

I am a 33 year old mother of 1 who's saving grace is finding a new space in the house to be depressed in. My depression is something that I put on along with my clothes in the morning. It comes with me to work, out on dates, when I'm working on my coaching practice, and of course at home with my 4 year old daughter. Sometimes I beat myself up for not being able to overcome it the way I was taught in therapy.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The way I deal with my BFF (depression) is not like most people in that I shun it but rather try to embrace it. I embrace it by giving myself permission to feel this way but only for short period of time. I try and take small steps towards change, simple things like ok, instead of being depressed in the bed, maybe I will be depressed from the couch today. At least I moved!!! I promised myself that no matter what, I was going to do two things:

1. ENGAGE

2. Give myself some Grace

Engaging ensures that I'm at least doing something even though the thing I'm doing may not be HUGE and result in something HUGE. My journey with depression is simply that; a journey.

I give myself Grace at times when I need to because I beat myself up so much when I don't. It took me a while to believe and feel like it was OK to be in my box at times. I already experienced the opposite of that when I don't hold that space for myself and I didn't like it one bit. I feel more at ease now that I'm allowing the cool breeze to come in.

I say all that to say this: I'm not perfect, no one is. Despite my professional position, I go through this stuff everyday and even now I'm typing this from my bed. My goal today is to sit in my meditation room and work. I know I will make it there eventually, but for now, me and my BFF (depression) are hanging out in the bed.

[Elizabeth04]

Good for you. That's inspirational to me

[violetgenie]

Ahh Aria this is so beautiful! I love it so much!

Thank you for sharing this with us. You are awesome!