So, my anxiety is getting worse, I can't seem to DO THINGS anymore. I have panic attacks when I try to do anything. I tried to stay over at my best friend's place a couple weeks ago and was nearly sick at the thought of it, which is crazy considering her house is like my second home and her family is like my second family. I have to go out of town next week, and I feel paralyzed by the thought of it. I just don't know how to be normal these days. Writing is really the only thing that keeps me hanging on to my sanity. To add to it, my other best friend is going to New York this summer and has asked me to come, and New York City has been my biggest dream since I was a kid, but I don't think I have the funds or the confidence to go, plus my parents would NEVER let me go, and we'd be going with her modelling agent and without her parents which is also something my parents would say no to ... and the thought of missing out on my biggest dream is killing me. I just don't know how to keep hanging onto normalcy.