Concerned Wife

[Lookingforhelp23]

Forgive me because I do not know much about depression and anxiety. But my husband has what I strongly suspect is depression. He refuses counseling or seeing a doctor, just wants to "wait" for it to get better. I'm in counseling myself and she suggested getting him to do fun things but he also refuses that.

I am at a loss. He still gets up and goes to work, but everyone in his life notices something is up. He just says things are fine. He has told me he has considered suicide but would never do it. What do I do? What is the best way to help him?

[Bird-67]

Not easy when he refuses to seek help. Have you shown him this forum as that might persuade him?

[a-lynn]

Yes, not easy. It's his decision and all, but it's affecting more than just him. My husband has been trying to help me for years, and I've been "waiting for it to get better." I've finally realized I can't handle things myself.

The best I can say is keep trying and be patient with him. It's tough to admit we can't do everything and allow others to help. If this is new behavior, he may have something in particular bothering him and getting it off his chest will help a lot. Though if you tend to get emotional in conversations, he may not feel safe talking to you.

Lots of luck!

[Lookingforhelp23 in reply to a-lynn]

What made you realize you couldn't handle it yourself? That's what I'm scared of - how far does this have to go before he realizes he needs help? Because that could be dangerous.

[a-lynn in reply to Lookingforhelp23]

I didn't realize how much pain I was causing him. Unfortunately he decided to deal with his own pain outside of our relationship and I found out. That was a hard way to confront my issues, and I do not recommend it!!

Does he have any friends or family that he talks to more openly?