Confusedandconcerned

[Mariko]

Hi. I am new to this site. I have general anxiety and I think depression which I am trying to get medication for. I am apparently high functioning but my teen daughter has been diagnosed recently with more severe symptoms. She has general anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia. She will take the medication as prescribed by the psychiatrist and goes to school. She will not do anything else. She won't go to church anymore, won't go to Girl Scouts, won't go out to eat with us and is now refusing to see the counselor. She has become very verbally aggressive and picks fights with everyone and tells her sister and me, her mother, that we hate her. She will talk a bit to her Dad. Any advice? I don't know how to help her

[anicole456]

First let me say that I truly have no good advice necessarily bc I don't have a child with depression or anxiety disorders. I myself suffer with both, so maybe I can help you by giving you an insight into her thoughts. Obviously, we aren't all the same, what triggers me may not trigger her & vice versa. For starters, please don't force her to participate in anything (other than school & counseling) - she feels that she cannot handle those things right now. Encourage her by being as empathetic as possible. You don't have to understand to empathize. No matter how hard it is to hear, let her speak her feelings & her mind. Obviously, she has to be respectful in her word choices & tone bc nobody wants to raise a disrespectful child, but give her the freedom to know she can say anything to you in regards to her feelings & she will not be judged. That's so incredibly important to me, as I'm sure it is to most people dealing with these issues. Validate her, don't ever be dismissive with her feelings. I loathe when people tell me things like "just act happy & you'll be happy" or "mind over matter" or "I don't know why you choose to feel like that" - as if anyone would choose this shit. Reading back, I sound a bit authoritative & I don't intend that to come across in any way... please don't take it as such. I've just been there & get it & hate it so badly for your precious child & your family. Also, if Dad is who she is most comfortable talking to, please encourage him to educate himself on all of her issues so he can help her to the best of his ability. Good luck & much love to you & yours!

[Jenleigh in reply to anicole456]

You are so right- I hate when people just act like we can snap out of our feelings. I truly don't want to have anxiety! I wish it were that easy.

Very good advice too.

Mariko- you should ask the psychiatrist or whoever she was seeing what they think the best plan would be for her. If they just want to medicate then talk to someone else like psychologist or counselor who can help the whole family- since it doesn't seem like the medication is doing all it should.

Wishing you all the best- it must be so hard to see you child go through this.