Tired of feeling sad all the time and hopeless..

[snp2826]

Hello, I've never signed up for a support group before so this is my first. Here it goes, I've been dealing with anxiety for what seems a major portion of my life ever since I can remember looking back I was always the shy girl had a hard time making friends etc. I feel like I've hit a mid-mid life crisis. Well mental health runs deep within my family especially with depression. A couple of years ago I began having panic attacks and felt like I was literally going to die a few times.. scary.. well I can gladly say today that I don't have the severe panic attacks as much any more very seldom just the flushing of my face and body that seems to be my new thing and it's so embarrassing I literally look like I've been sun burned is how red and flushed I look when I have a since of not being in control especially speaking in public or in crowds. Growing up had a rough start mom cheated on my dad multiple times even introduced me to them (age 5) as friends. I never knew any better till I started getting older then things became more clear. Just under 2 years ago my mom recently told me that my dad wasn't my dad and that my real sperm doner didn't want anything to do with me. All while the man I grew up knowing as my dad has no idea. My brother had a muscle detoriating disease and has rapidly declined in health over the past few months and has been well chair bound for the past 8 years. Ex boyfriend of five years I caught cheating with open emails from escort services.. I'm just a hot mess and feel like I'm alone in this world even though I know there are far more with a lot more going on than me it sucks. Anxiety and depression take so much away from living a normal life. I see it everyday that I work (nurse) I'm thankful for everything I've been blessed with and pray daily. Just lately seems like a lot to bare. Sorry for sappy post. Bless you all.

[BonnieSue]

I'm sorry that you don't feel so good. It stinks, no matter who you are and what you do or don't have. When you're depressed and anxious your situation becomes one huge nightmare. Life gets very difficult and it's hard to keep going.

Have you seen a doctor about this? Are you on any meds or have you had any counseling? Both are recommended and will help you. As a nurse you may know this but not want to do anything about it. But it's the right way to go about getting well. Since mental health issues run in your family, you might as well ask around for a good psychiatrist, not bother with a GP, and get a doctor who knows his drugs. And the same about asking around for a really good recommendation for a counselor because it's important to have a good one rather than have to switch because you started with a mediocre one and now need to drop that one and start all over again. You know how that can happen.

So take good care of you and get yourself some good professionals and you can begin to feel better than you have in a very long time, and maybe better than you've ever felt. I wish you good luck and best wishes as you will no doubt start to feel good as you step out and get the help you need!!

Blessings...

[snp2826 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you for your kind words. Yes I've seen a couple of therapists over the years and honestly felt more like a pill mill after the first initial visit so I stopped going but that may have been due to not having ins and having to go to where I can afford. But I will ask around and see if I can get some recommendations for a better therapist. Yes I have seen my primary care dr about my concerns and currently taking a antidepressant and anti anxiety Med that I've been one for about a month now since my rx was changed. I know it takes a while to kick in but i have follow up soon so hopefully will see some improvement.

[Ccuevas11]

Hi and sorry your not doing so well. I too suffer from anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. I just want to let you know even though everything may seem upside down, it will get better. I don't know about you, but I am a fighter and fighting all my life for everything I got. I found ways to kinda help me, because I was not going to let depression get the best of me. I tried new hobbies any and every interest I have to find something that could occupy my free time. My problem that I moved away from my family and since working from home didn't give me much of an opportunity to meet people it got me all depressed. I actually went to a therapist who recommended meetup an app that you can meet other people like you with the same interest. You should try it they have anything from arts and crafts to whatever you choose. Hey may even meet some cool people or friend as well I have and its cool because it keeps you from thinking negative thoughts which I tend to do a lot of especially while depressed. Also if you ever need to talk feel free to message me anytime. We are all here for each other. I hope you feel better soon!