this is so terrible...

[hcey]

Night is so terrible, dare not to go to school is terrible, I AM terrible.

I am so different form the Me I am in school, at home, at work, I am so terrible and so useless and so incomparable from the normal me. I dont know how to walk out form this loop, this dead loop created by MYSELF. i cen't see hope, i cant talk this out to people, I am so useless.

This is just like climbing up the valley but I just can't help to pause and rest for while, ended up slipping down and back to the original point. I want to let go of the rope, but I know I cannot and should not, I am conscious of that. Yet, the climbing and slipping is so tiring and hope draining.

[Lsavadge]

It really is a tough situations. How long have u been suffering with anxiety? For some people it is worse when they are alone. In my senior year of high school I had to leave for a semester or two to go and get help for my anxiety. In truth I did not want to go back, but I did and it was a good choice. Anxiety by nature isolates a person because they cannot function the way they used to and we are afraid to show people that we are not in control. It is looked at by people who have anxiety and others as a deficit. Honestly, what matters is how u see it. For me, 20 years later, it is something I have to deal with everyday. I was put on medication so I could live as normal a life as I wanted to. In the end know that u are not weak, terrible or any of the other things that your mind is telling you that u r. To help yourself try to find a psychiatrist to talk to about some meds that u can take only when your anxiety spikes or maybe one you can take on a daily basis to help you feel normal. Then find a friend you feel comfortable with and talk to them. Let them be your partner when you are having a moment. Sometimes that can help. Best of luck shrub hope you find peace soon.