I am hurting

I am hurting because my son won't talk to me. My husband is going down to see him and I can't go. It hurts so bad. How do I overcome this?

[BonnieSue]

Is your husband good with your son? Can you trust your husband with your son? Do you trust God?

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

Yes he's very good. There's no reason not to trust him. I'm working on trusting God.

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

This is about your son being angry at you because you got fed up with his yelling at you and you tore up his BD card, isn't it? And he rejected the replacement BD card. Now he's rejecting you by not talking to you. He wants you to be hurting so you "learn your lesson" to never defy him again and always "obey him" and let him have his way. But who is the parent here and who should be honoring who? The 4th commandment is clear about this and so is common sense.

There's nothing to worry about with your son and your husband together. That's a good thing. You're hurting because your son chooses to make it that way. That isn't so good but he's doing the controlling here and do you really want him in charge? Will you crawl back to him and buy peace at any price? Because he will continue to yell at you and try to control you if you crawl back to him now. Is peace right now worth that price?

Of course it hurts that your child is doing what he's doing right now. It's wrong and it hurts to see that he chooses to do this wrong thing. It's not what you taught him, is it? Well, yes, in a way. You and your hubby have set the example. Your dysfunction has taught your son his dysfunction. Your husband yells and so does your son. Where does it end? Unfortunately it rests with you. Reward the yelling or not---that IS the question for you.

A tough question. Only you can decide what you want for your future. Best wishes to you.

[Jillian51894]

I think you need to give him time. When he has thought through what's going on, he will talk to you. If either you or him start yelling at each other, be the bigger person and walk out of the room until you're both calm enough to discuss things. He still cares about you, right now he just doesn't want to show it.

[Hidden]

Thanks

[Itsjustmeagain]

Im sorry for the pain your son is inflicting on you.

Nothing but time can help but try to stay strong stick to your words . Children can be very hard on parents