My husband was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer in March 2018. His PSA was 1900, Gleason 7, 4+3, mets to spine and scrum. He is receiving firmagon, xgeva and has finished his 2nd round of docetaxal and neulasta one day after chemo. Chemo is giving him joint pains, tired and feeling of being unwell. He's still working and doing things around the house and yard work. I feel very helpless because he has not been the same man I married. He's very short fused and nasty. Refuses to let me go to docs with him. I feel horrible and wish I could wave a magic wand to make him better. His PSA has dropped to 217 since March 2018 he just has to have a calcium infusion. His level was dangerously low. Not sure whatbi can do to help him. I love him and hate seeing him suffer.
Husband Just Diagnosed : My husband was... - Advanced Prostate...
Husband Just Diagnosed
the drugs change your brain..in my case I wanted to kill everybody around me and in retrospect that was a mistake..now my only friend is a Gator...talk to his Doc and get him on some meds
hw-static.worldstarhiphop.c...
Haha! What a picture. Wishing you many more years of good health!
Actually my husband gets his bone pain actually just slight aching from the Neulasta and it's one of the side effects from it. My husband has his grouchy days also and that's from the hormone shot. I save my sanity by having my she-shed office and I just go out there on those days until he gets over it. LOL
Hi, the first year of ADT is the worst. It wont all go away but im sure he will ajust as i have. It will never be the same though. Its the new normal. Tell your husband you love him and you are there for him. There are things he can take to battle depression that may be whats happening. Just hope he will try to take care of it. Him not letting you go to appts is a litte worrying. I love to have my wife with me because this affects not just me but both of us. Hope for nothing but good news in the future.
Thank you! He has given me all permission to speak with his providers; which is good. Wishing you many more years of good health!
it can be nuelesta that is causing pain. take clariton the same morning and it makes a huge difference.
I'm really sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. All of us here remember that time in our lives and how difficult it was so you are not alone.
I know for me, whenever I am in pain I am not my normal self. If you can help him do something to get the pain down, his overall mood might improve a lot. Also would recommend a face-to-face support group. It helps so much to be able to share with others. I felt so alone and isloated when I was first diagnosed. No one can help you like those who are going through it themselves.
Try to get some support for yourself too. That's easy to ignore, but you are going through a lot now too so reach out for some help.
One positive thing is advanced prostate cancer is still very treatable at stage 4. Many here have gone years with proper treatment. So far it sounds like he is getting good treatments and responding well so far.
I wish the best for you. Keep us posted on the progress.
Thank you for your insight. Unfortunately my husband doesn't want to go to support groups. I encourage him to do whatever he needs to do to feel better. We're getting there. Wishing you many more years of good health!
I forgot to mention my husband was first diagnosed in Dec 2005 so there's hope of many years to come. Good luck on this journey we're all on and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here.
Thank you! Is there a caregiver sight?
Your so welcome! Yes actually there is a caregivers site and here's the link to it. But actually it's fairly new and not many on there yet. healthunlocked.com/prostate...
Take zyrtec or Claritin 2 days before and 2 days after neulasta. My father had the same and he never experienced the pain after taking Claritin
Sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. Unfortunately prostate cancer IS a life changer but it's not a life ender. My husband was diagnosed 'accidentally' when he applied for life insurance in 2016 (age 61). His PSA was 12.2 and he was denied coverage. Got a biopsy and all 12 samples were positive. Decided on a total prostatectomy followed by 12 weeks radiation and then two lupron injections. The surgery showed that the prostate capsule had ruptured (which didn't show up on the MRI) and spilled into his abdominal cavity and he had spread of cancer cells in the surgical margins. No spread to lymph nodes. His Gleason score was 7 (3+4).
The incontinence took almost a year to resolve (but it did improve with each passing month after surgery). He has ED and he doesn't feel his libido will ever return. I did read one article today that said it MIGHT return two years after surgery! His PSA is now undetectable for the third time but the doc says he won't actually consider him 'cured' for two years.
The main problems he has now (one and a half years post-op and one year since last lupron injection) is his testosterone level is still going down. I'm in the process of researching why this is). He's tired all the time. Frequently in a bad mood. Often hates the world. Mild-moderate depression. He can't stand the fact that his penis seems to have shrunk and is now inverted causing him to 'miss the bowl' when urinating in the toilet. Rare dribbling. Continuous ED. That doesn't bother me as I'm suffering with vaginal atrophy myself. I tell him the Lord arranged this for us. LOL.
I would get your husband into counseling. Tell him it's for you if you have to. It's very helpful for both partners to go to the doctor visits cause the amount of info is overwhelming. It's a little easier when two people hear it. One remembers stuff the other doesn't. Plus two people are asking questions instead of one. Not to mention as the wife you worry more when you're not included (your imagination makes it worse).
Since men don't typically share their feelings as openly as women I think it's harder on them. They don't share their fears and concerns. They're afraid of losing their masculinity. And they're afraid of dying. All those fears alone are enough to turn a nice guy into a lunatic. I don't have a she-shed although it sounds like a good idea.
We had joined a church about six months before his diagnosis and I have to say our faith has helped tremendously. Knowing that we can lay our fears on Jesus really lightens the burden. And my husband is much less stressed knowing that when he dies (which hopefully won't be for a long time) he'll be going to heaven. No more fear of the unknown. Good luck to you both. I'll pray for you and all the other guys on the site!
PS: If anyone knows why my husbands testosterone level is still so low and dropping, I'd be happy to hear from you. Thanks!
Guys I do not think you need to accept these life changing predictions as gospel. As I’ve posted here numerous times, I’m on lupron, prednisone , and Zytega for 9 months. Get a trainer and if you can’t afford him often, have him set up a tough weight lifting program. Write it down Abd folllow it. . Minimum one hour three times a week hard workout. Light weights are fine but all muscle groups 3 sets to exhaustion. I don’t do much else other than those three to 3.5 hours a week and I feel great other than done hot flashes and low libido. Also a little quick with the temper sometimes. But I’ve lost weight and gained muscle. Don’t give into to it guys. You can beat it. This was the advise of my oncologist and he swears that the patients who do weight training during ADT do quite well. Those who don’t - don’t.
Schwah.
I agree with Schwah I'm also on Zytiga,Prednisone,Eligard which is Lupron in six month dose. Exercise is a key factor in keeping your mind occupied. I know its easy to say but keeping a positive attitude is the one treatment cancer hates. Please tell him to join our forum here ,there is a wealth of information and Brotherhood he can benefit biy. Leo
Don’t give up on him. He needs you more than you know. He is probably worried about his mortality,the bills if he dies , how you will get along without him,who will replace him. I would suggest you see a councilor first and see if he would join you. The fact that you know your mortal is a awful thing. He is fighting a terrible battle, one that he will lose sooner or later. He could be embarrassed about the whole mess. Just love him and hold him. Hugs are great starters to tears and talking 😢😢😢😢
Hello larry_dammit, we hug a lot and I'll give extra hugs. Thanks for sharing and good words if advise. In good health, nicepkts
It's a life changer for him. He must realize that many in this world have it much worse than we do. I was diagnosed and near death 6 months ago. Had no idea. Now I am so glad every day to be alive. It's stage 4, spread everywhere and my psa was 850, my blood was in the 5's instead of the 13's. My psa is now under 1. I’m on lupron, prednisone , and Zytega also. I've lost my man strength and get tired a lot. But I excercise, cut and split firewood. Yardwork and hobbies are good. I'll be 67 in July. Take naps when I'm tired. Hope he can benefit from any of this advice.
Thanks lincolnj8! We actually spoke this evening. I shared with him your experience and advice. He's open to trying. My husband is 67 and before PC he was a picture of excellent health. Never sick........ In good health, nicepkts
Like your husband, we're about the same age and I never, I mean never was sick and always in excellent health and very active before 6 months ago before PC. Tell him to hang in there.
Good Thursday Morning nicepkts,
You already have some helpful comments about bone pain from Neulasta. My Med Onc said use Claritin 1 day before infusion and for the next 6 days to minimize bone pain from Neulasta. It worked for me during all 6 cycles.
Best wishes. Never Give In.
Mark, Atlanta
Believe it or not the Clariton helped with his pain in the back after his Firmagon injection. He's going to take it throughout his treatment course now because it had really helped with the bone pain. In good health, nicepkts
Also took Wisconsin American ginseng for fatigue during chemo. Google Mayo Clinic and ginseng for their trial.
Mark, Atlanta
My husband also had mood swings shortly after starting Lupron. Effexor did him a world of good, both with the moods and the hot flashes. Hang in there.....I hope things improve for you both.
Hi, First, that IS the exact man you married, we are all allowed and inclined to change our habits character and general personality over the years, especially in the event of spirit altering illness or dis ease. IT is not right for YOU or ANYONE to expect people especially your spouse, kids, mom whomever to remain the same person you knew 20 30 or more years the SAME. Are YOU the same? No. I had to get a just to let you know they NO ONE is obligated to live up to your expectations love, and you don't have to either, THAT my friend is a CHOICE. Now. Hubby is stage 4 andSUFFERING, more spiritual and mental than physical, you don't have to kiss his butt or anything but ensure he knows that your trying to understand and don't let him quit. Remember Expectation is the number one killer of relationships, in front of finance, which is married to expectation. Talk, listen don't bargain, be straight, he wants to live now more than ever, and the one thing hee loved to do, he can't do anymore, nothing you say or do will fix that. He's got to handle this in his terms, not neglecting you, but this is truly about him. Think how you'd feel or theorize of they took your Joy Box out when you were 25 or at the peak of your fertility and prowess sexually. Yeah. Pardon my frankness but to many have this issue become about them and not the person when must endure the journey.
Thank you for your wisdom! I've read a lot of your posts and they have given me much insight. Wishing you many more years of good health!
Charles, thank you for this information. It is very helpful. I will speak to his do for about the mood swings. Anything to help him. Ha! We were both fanning away hot flashes the other day! It was comical. In good health, nicepkts
‘Quality’. The operative word and watchtower for all treatment for men with advanced prostate cancer. With that batch of poison, your husband should indeed be miserable and depressed.
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