Trying to overcome ADHD discrimination

[ChaosDad]

In the place my family and I call home, the ADA is treated as little more than a suggestion—a law ignored and dismissed. The discrimination I endured wasn’t just shocking; it was life-threatening, forcing me to leave a multi-billion-dollar corporation. When I sought help from their HR department, I was coldly redirected to their Ethics department, which ultimately told me to solve the issue myself. The accommodations I was granted, meant to provide equal footing, were dismissed as too burdensome, too impractical to matter. Every attempt I made to escalate the issue—to find someone, anyone, willing to intervene—ended in heartbreak. No one listened. No one cared. It felt like hammering nails into my own coffin.

Desperate, I even reached out to the governor's office, only to be told that my struggles didn’t qualify because they didn’t consider ADHD a "real" disability. I was accused of "choosing" to be discriminated against. My last hope, the EEOC, was no better. They dismissed my case, citing a lack of disciplinary action against me—only for me to face retaliation days later in the form of a formal disciplinary action. When I reported this retaliation, the EEOC simply told me to file a new case and wait another year. That year became an open invitation for management to strip me of my humanity. They slashed my healthcare benefits, stonewalled me for months, blocked me from applying to other teams, and falsified my annual review to make me appear incompetent.

It’s painfully clear that my former employer owns this state and that I, as someone with a disability, have no place here—no hope of being seen as anything other than a burden. With the crushing realization that justice and dignity are out of reach, my wife and I have no choice but to leave this state, fleeing the suffocating despair of a system that will never protect us.

[Mamamichl]

I know what you are going through. I was harassed by my preps supervisor. I work as a special education teacher and so you would think your supervisor understands people with differing needs. Only half of what my counselor requested (after hours of research) was argued about when I tried to enact it.

When I got hired, my insurance changed and I was going to have to stop taking my anxiety med I was taking for ten years as it would have been $1000 out of pocket per month, but the psychiatrist messed up time and time again for transferring me to a new one (sent to wrong pharmacy, kept me on med that didn’t work, and send me addictive med). My supervisor kept saying “I’m really starting to realize how much your anxiety affects your work”.

After being reprimanded for the third time about something, using school cameras which were against policy, I went into a psychiatric institution. This helped me with my meds, then outpatient had me slow my hatred for myself, I went back to work. In the transition meeting, I got written up for “reliability”, then got a second write up less than a week later. After I was told I would be fired or I could quit at the end of the school year, so I put in my resignation, I was repeatedly harassed by my supervisor, even to the point of her raising her voice and asking me 3 times in a day to admit to putting writing paper into a printer I never put paper into.

I did an EEOC for another previous job that fired me for my symptoms, that went nowhere. I’m still waiting for my appointment for an EEOC evaluation in January. ADA is BS because it’s just what they think they can do instead of giving us what we need. I thought it was like the IEPs I write, but no. It makes me sad that ADA and EEOC have been gutted and stripped away of its abilities.

[ChaosDad in reply to Mamamichl]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. As an educator, I feel that those with the responsibility of shaping the perceived reality of children should have an easier time.

[Mamamichl in reply to ChaosDad]

Indeed. Thank you for your support. Luckily I have found an amazing position teaching online. So much support!

[Melann13]

May I ask what state you live in?

[ChaosDad in reply to Melann13]

I'm in Arkansas until we can escape

[Tigger4me]

ChaosDad, What an ordeal for you to been put through, so sorry to hear of the discrimination you faced. It is always shameful to me how some people are in positions of power that can provide help instead do the exact opposite.

I guess the ADHD community needs to have people with ADHD, who are nationally/internationally known celebrities, speak out against such discrimination to bring awareness to the 90% of the population who don't have ADHD.

[Tigger4me]

Hi ChaosDad, I was struck by your description of the problems you faced in Arkansas with regards to work related accommodations for your ADHD. I taught at the university level (in the US) for over 40 years, and during that time I worked with nearly 100 students who sought and received some level of academic accommodations on the basis of their ADHD. See below for information about such activity at the University of Arkansas.

This is the web address (cea.uark.edu/) to the University of Arkansas Center for Academic Access that handles all of the accommodations students with disabilities might need in order to realize their full academic potential at the University of Arkansas. This Center is typical of those found at almost every major college and university in the US. A high percentage of students who seek and are granted academic accommodations at institutions of higher education in the US do so on the basis of having ADHD. Students must submit documentation outlining the level and the nature of the student's disability from a licensed health professional order to be granted these academic accommodations.

Granted that US institutions have established these centers in order to comply with the ADA to ensure access to federal funding that touches nearly every aspect of university operation. Unfortunately, such requirements and compliance does not often extend to Us businesses.

[ChaosDad in reply to Tigger4me]

Thank you for the suggestion. While I’m not a student, I do have children who share the same struggles I face—children who might benefit from resources that I wish had been available to me. When my first EEOC complaint was dismissed, it felt like the weight of the world came crashing down. The blatant dismissal of my reports about a hostile work environment was soul-crushing. Even worse, no law office would touch the 90-day right-to-sue letter I received without demanding fees that would leave my family in financial ruin. So the letter expired, along with any hope for justice.

My current employer offered promises of fairness—a reprieve from the discrimination I endured before. They assured me I wouldn’t face the same harassment, but those words turned out to be nothing more than hollow lies. They don’t provide health insurance, a 401K, gas reimbursement, or any financial support for the tools and equipment I’m required to use. And on top of that, they threw me into the job with no training, no onboarding for their systems or software, and no guidance of any kind. Instead of support, all I’ve received are constant complaints that I should already know everything.

Betrayed doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. It’s like every promise, every ounce of trust, has been stripped away. I feel utterly hollow—like a failure to the ones I love because I can’t provide what they need. This isn’t just about a job; it’s about the cruel realization that there’s no place for people like me—people with disabilities—in this unforgiving state. It’s a wound deeper than I can express, a pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

[OldADHDer in reply to ChaosDad]

I hate to break it to you, ChaosDad. The ADA issues and EEOC issues are in my state, too. So stay away from Ohio. I just had my ADA accommodations denied by my employer (which happens to be a medical institution, of all things). And not a week has gone by, and my boss, who apparently has an MS in neurobiology and told me she understands ADHD, just today started to let me know I better shape up or ship out. It hasn't even been a year since my diagnosis and I've been with the institution for less than two years. I heard the same from her that "I should know everything by now." Even those who say they understand don't understand what we go through. But it seems like they want us to just go elsewhere while we try to work things out because they can't be bothered with the accomodations. I understand your struggle and I wish I had answers for you that would help you out of the struggle. I'm considering hiring a disability lawyer, but I fear I won't be able to afford it.

[ChaosDad in reply to OldADHDer]

I would highly recommend you get some sort of transcription tool for your conversations. Remember that the deck is stacked, and the game is rigged. Think along the same lines as being arrested, "Anything you say or do will be held against you" and whereas they have the power to misplace or delete any incriminating evidence you may not. Time-lines are important. Establish a time-line of repeated behavior, and document everything you can.

[Tigger4me]

ChaosDad, Again so sorry for your plight with the repeating theme of anguish in your work environment. While I don't know the details of the Arkansas legal code, I find it interesting that the State of Arkansas clearly recognizes ADHD as a disability that merits some level of accommodation for students at both the local level but also at the State level. The website I indicated to you from the University of Arkansas mandates accommodations for students in higher education. While it doesn't directly relate to you in your work environment, the website, and information contained therein, that the State of Arkansas, through the Arkansas Department of Education and through the University of Arkansas (a state run and controlled university) clearly identifies ADHD as a disability meriting accommodations.

If I could ask a question. Are the jobs you refer to in the private sector and are for-profit? Might your job skills allow for employment in public sector or in non-profit organizations? It might be that some non-profit organizations treat their employees better than for-profit companies. Just an idea.

[ChaosDad in reply to Tigger4me]

I work in the tech industry, providing technical support for individuals and organizations with computers, networks, servers, websites, analytics, and more. I’m even certified in Cybersecurity. On paper, my skills should make me employable anywhere—but the reality is far more disheartening. This area is so insular, so interconnected, that I’ve faced interview questions explicitly referencing a negative yearly review from a previous employer and interviews with recruiters who lied about my responses.

The crux of the issue lies in the open-ended interpretation of “reasonable” accommodation. The accommodations I requested were provided so inadequately that they undermined their entire purpose, leaving me to make a choice: continue using them and risk further scrutiny, or abandon them altogether to avoid being labeled a problem. I chose the latter, but it didn’t matter. The damage had already been done. My reputation was tarnished, and with it, any hope of advancing my career vanished.

What should have been opportunities to grow and contribute were stripped away, leaving me questioning not just the fairness of the system but my place in it. Each setback felt like a deliberate erasure of the work I’d done and the skills I’ve built, as though my efforts will never be enough to overcome the stigma.

[Tigger4me]

ChaosDad, I'm not familiar with your type of tech jobs in the private sector but I am more aware of jobs like you mention at individual academic departments or colleges at the university level. I believe that campus wide IT positions might be similar to what you have described, but my experience with IT jobs at the STEM department and college level seem quite different primarily because the IT requirements of these departments and colleges can be very different from those at the institutional level. Are there any tech job openings being advertised at the many colleges and universities in your area?

[Tigger4me]

Also in a few days I will be attending a two day national, on-line ADHD conference and I will listen for and ask questions about any discrimination the presenters might know about. I'll pass along any information that might be of use to you.

[ChaosDad]

Law office messaged me over the weekend. Looks like they are not pursuing punitive damages in my case. So much for the absolute misery myself and my family suffered over the last few years.

[ChaosDad]

I'm so ready for it all to be over. I cant stop ruminating which is making the panic attacks worse. I pulled out my retirement savings just to be able to play catch up, and now its all gone. After my new job learned about my ADHD they hired someone new and I'm training them to take over my job role. Likely I'll be out on the street soon. I'm so tired of hating myself, cant wait for it all to be over.

[JamiHIS Administrator in reply to ChaosDad]

Dear ChaosDad:

I am sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this. If you need someone to talk with or feel like you are in crisis, you can call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours.

We also offer free support groups with many that meet virtually. chadd.org/affiliate-locator/

Sending your strength and support as you navigate this difficult time!

Sincerely,

Jami

Health Information Specialist Manager

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

[LisethHIS]

Hi, ChaosDad,

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Have you had a chance to speak with someone in HR about your situation? Do you have any documentation explaining why they might be considering letting you go? Also, have you discussed any work accommodations that could help? Here are some resources that can be helpful: askjan.org/ chadd.org/for-adults/job-di... chadd.org/for-adults/laws-a... chadd.org/for-adults/workpl... podcasts.chadd.org/e/how-ac... If there is anything we can help you, please let us know.

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org

[ChaosDad]

I've been to HR, Ethics, Senior managers, Global investigators, Corporate liasons, EEOC, and the Governors office. Every single entity i went to had the same thing to say, "Were sorry this is happening, but there's nothing we can do". I spent $4000 on a law office who treats me like an illegitimate step child, and I've come to the understanding that no one gives a damn. Proof that high school never truly ends, and no amount of hard work is enough.