thank you for adding me recently I found out that I have a doll ADHD, which I knew I probably had all my life. I’m not sure if I am having issues at work or just being extra sensitive. There’s certain things in my job role that are very difficult. I was open and honest with my boss and I’ve asked to transfer to a different department, but yesterday she was very abrupt with me about a situation that another coworker said to her it was made upon assumption from that coworker, but she said to me why am I going around telling everybody that I have a disability and people are picking on me I don’t feel that that was warranted are very nice to say especially in front of another coworker because I never said that she also sent me an email stating that if I keep making mistakes she’s going to write me up I know I have to be able to perform my job and I have been. I’ve been there for seven months but now that she knows that I have this and wanting to transfer I feel like this has changed. I’m not sure sure what to do.
Work and ADHD: thank you for adding me... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
Work and ADHD
Hi Abigg4 , and welcome to the community!
It sounds like the supervisor didn't consider the approach. They simply took one other person's word as fact, and you say that they brought this in front of another coworker.
I've been a supervisor before, and I know that those are not the best way to deal with issues in the workplace. It sounds like your supervisor is abrasive, or closed-minded, or maybe just frustrated.
I've also had my share of difficult supervisors before, and was in one job situation that was so bad that I made multiple requests to transfer away from the most difficult supervisor that I ever worked for. (He practiced the favoritism and treated me as if I was just a robot, or something.)
Is it a type of work that is new for you? Is it a new work organization for you?
You can try asking for reasonable accommodations. For example, some people with ADHD are easily distracted by noise or movement around them, so they might ask to be moved to a work space away from the activity, or to be allowed to use noise cancelling headphones, or both. Others can be forgetful about requests made of them verbally, and will ask that requests be made in writing (which is something that I do).
You might also request training resources, if they are available to you.
~
Does your workplace have a process for requesting a transfer?
Many employers don't. The place I was working at when I made multiple transfer requests gave all the decision-making power to the director level, and my director (who had me transfer under the manager that was a bad fit for me) kept denying my requests. When I went to the VP above him, the VP deferred the decision to the director again. There wasn't an escalation process. ~ What I found out from another coworker who had successfully gotten a transfer before was that he had taken his case all the way up to the head of HR. (My coworker was more savvy about the organization's political structure, and used that to his advantage.)
My only way out of that situation was to get another job.
~~~
I know how stressful that type of situation is, and I recommend that you get into therapy if you can. I didn't do that until after I finally got hired into a different job, but by then my anxiety was get severe.
So, by best advice is:
• Talk to someone in HR to find out what your options are (for transfer, accomodations, how to deal with your supervisor, etc)
• If you feel like the first person you talk to at HR isn't helping, ask to talk to their supervisor... escalate your request for transfer as high as you can
• Get into therapy, if you can
If you have a formal ADHD diagnosis, are you on medication? ADHD meds can sometimes make a big difference.
It's also important to learn about ADHD, and to get to know how ADHD affects you in particular. Then you can look for strategies that might help you. (Groups like this are great for sharing that kind of information, but there are also a lot of books, podcasts, and YouTube channels. There are also ADHD coaches who can provide targeted support.)
Thank you , I am seeing a a therapist the medication has been a little hard to get so I see the dr again next week . I have been in the role at a hospital for a year my other boss apologize before this happened stating that felt they could have me better . I have requested a ADA this last incidents have started when I asked ti be transferred and told them by dignoises.
fill out ADA paperwork with HR pronto. You will need prong it done by your doctor, but a part done by you and a part done by manager done first. I’m in that process rn. Hoping I will have my counselor finish it today so I can turn it in tomorrow.
I’m feeling the exact same way with my supervisor. The teammates across the hall were heard by others saying “you’re a f***ing adult” when talking about my professional development and reaching out to figure out who to go to or how to solve this misunderstanding about my disability. Anyone I’ve been going to gets back to my supervisor and she berates me more. Even trying to say that others saying things in passing with kids running around screaming will not be comprehended. My supervisor even tried to jog my memory by having me fill out a verbatim fill in the blank and asked what I do remember from a meeting a week earlier, as if I don’t have enough on my plate as a teacher, Asking for things in writing is too much to ask according to my supervisor, but many others are saying it’s not (trainer, coworkers, and even someone at a sister location). Go straight to HR.
Don’t think it has helped I am going thru a breakup I left a emotional abusive relationship, I found out he was cheating and know everyone knows and it’s all over Facebook which I deleted mine by it is bothering me it hurts
Zen hugs. Definitely see a mental health professional; counseling and psychiatrist if needed. You may need mental health days.
I’m so sorry.. {{HUGS}}. If you ever want ro reach out. Just message me. Abusive/intimate partner, violence. Relationship are exceptional hard once you get out of them.
I hope you will see someone who is a qualified Trauma Informed Therapist or a program Trauma Therapy Focused. It can make all the difference in the world.
🫂🫂
hey Abigg,
This is tough bc ADHD is physically invisible and unfortunately alot of our traits tend to mirror that of unsocialized children, or careless teenagers: example- like being overly sensitive, not paying attention if we dont feel interested enough, being loud/ shutting down, getting overwhelmed really easy, going too fast or not being able to keep up like others,etc etc.
what was your intention when u told your employer that you had a disability? what accommodations were you asking for? are those accommodations realistic for that particular workplace?
i think that us ADHD’ers can struggle much and easily fall into feeling victimized. Sometimes we gotta ask ourselves if maybe our particular flavor of “ ADHD disability,” kind of means that the jobs we are choosing are not good fits for us, 😢
it would be very rude for a person in a wheel chair to insist on being a pizza delivery person. it would take forever and be plain annoying for everone involved, a responsible person in a wheelchair is going to look for a job that doesnt require fast, efficient movement. if that person demanded that the pizzaria not discriminate- prob would “ win”. but did anyone really win? other people will be resentful n that person in wheelchair is just gonna feel disconnected and isolated. how is that a good thing?
when we are unhappy or dissatisfied with a job, we gotta ask ourselves if we are a good match for that particular profession or maybe its a good fit profession but the wrong fit workplace. either way, the oneness is on us.
when children are in mandatory public education - then accommodations have to be made because school is mandatory.
we feel more empowered n at peace when we are in occupations and work environments that gel with our ADHD. when we try to bend job descriptions n workplace culture to fit us personally, it normally ends up frustrating us n diminishes our own mental health.
My intention was to be transferred to a position that I feel I could prefer better my coworkers work from home I am and one other work in office
oh, i misunderstood your post! i thought u were saying u were making mistakes, almost getting written up, and at odds with other coworkers around u being honest bout having a disability, etc
maybe i was mixing what you wrote and what others responded with all in one, lol
sorry bout that
Hi Abigg4,
Thank you for contacting CHADD National Center on ADHD. I would recommend contacting JAN Job Accommodation Network askjan.org/ perhaps you can contact them to get guidance on your current situation. Here is more information that can be helpful chadd.org/for-adults/workpl... and chadd.org/for-adults/succee... Another option would be to work with a coach adhdcoaches.org/or use an app like focusmate.com/ to help you complete your work task.
If you have further questions, please let us know. We are here to help!
Best Regards,
Liseth
Health Information Specialist
CHADD’s National Resource Center on ADHD chadd.org
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