Today I am helping a friend out with some work. When I left this morning, there was something I saw and thought "Oh, I should bring this," and foolishly picked it up and put it somewhere else. Then there was something I had that I wanted to bring and I put it at this spot near the door while I looked for the first thing. My friend showed up to pick me up, I was frantically looking for the first thing, and eventually figured I'd just have to go without, my friend can only wait so long, and I was so annoyed by that, I forgot the second thing that I put by the door. Now I'm sitting here at the other work place, despising myself and cursing myself to eternal hell. This stuff is cyclical, I go through weeks where I'm fine and I start to think "Maybe I'm over this" until it comes back with a vengeance. I can't understand - how on earth can anything help me? I have a defective brain that can't function consistently. How can anything help, suggestions or medication? "Write a list!" Ok, I have a list of things I need - oh, there's one, I'll pick it up and put it somewhere else as I get distracted by the next thing, and not know where I put it. Or, I gather things together by the door, and forget them. How does a list help? How will medication help? "It slows down your brain so you can focus better!" Ok, so it will be like I am before I swing into the idiot part of my cycle, is it really going to be able to stop it when I'm there? It will slow me down enough so when I see something I need, I won't set it somewhere stupid ? I've been doing that all my life. It can really help me stop? Where do I get this medication? Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist. But I don't have a doctor? Get health care. Great, piece of cake. Just be consistent and stick with it even though you can't do that with anything else.. is there a pill to help me be consistent? Yes, but you have to be consistent in order to get it.. great! I guess I'll try, what else am I going to I do? I have to get a health care plan. Where do I get that? What do I do ? Plug ahead while hating myself and cursing myself to hell and trying not to jump out the nearest window, all for something that probably won't work anyway. How can it? How can anything fix this mess? Back to the original question... I'm so used to being in this place that my bitterness and negativity has formed a hard shell around me and it feels right to despise myself and my life. This is what happens whenever I try to do anything. It makes me not want to do anything. I used to fantasize about being institutionalized like the guy in the movie "Slingblade," nothing to do but sit on a chair and look out the window. Nothing to keep track of, nothing to forget.. although I'd probably end up losing the chair to sit on
How can anything help me? : Today I am... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
How can anything help me?
You can try to get County Insurance if you can't afford insurance. Some clinics do sliding scales and your employer may offer insurance through through the company. Yes that would be your first step!!!!
yep. This is it. This is the work we all have. And we all have it. We all are trying to do the best we can every day. This is the point. Love yourself through it, and now we get to love others through it on this forum. It is the curse that gives us the biggest gift. It sucks. And it’s awesome. You got this. Xoxo
I agree, except for the "biggest gift" and "it's awesome" part. I don't see anything good about it, I feel like it just makes me more bitter and cynical
been there! Get there frequently, actually. I get it. I get bitter and cynical too. That feels awful. And doesn’t help me at all. But maybe it helps you? (Legit question, maybe in a way you use negative emotion/self talk to get yourself to do stuff? I know I do) Rhetorical question, you don’t need to respond to me. It is not my thoughts that matter. It’s yours. xoxo
Yeah, it helps me to not get optimistic only to have my hopes repeatedly obliterated
That’s not exactly what I meant, but, ok.
How do you find yourself 
How do I go about getting help
I am an addict (and felon) trying to find out how to get a dr to give me adderall. Can some one help me?!?!? I need drugs.
Being treated differently can get frustrating. 
Do you have support at home?
