Other reasons to hate ADD

[Tormented555]

Here are some other realizations I've come to regarding the limitations ADD puts on my life. In addition to not being able to remember anything, or to do anything without screwing it up, in addition to not being able to feel confident or relaxed or have positive self esteem, or feel like I can compete or contribute anything significant, here are some other things I've realized I can't do, because of ADD and all the awkwardness and clumisness that comes with it. You know those moments in a movie and sometimes with other people in real life where someone really tells someone off? I can't do that. If I do, immediately afterwards I will wreck it by walking into the door or something embarrassing and awkward. As soon as I tell someone off, life tells me off. If I ever try to put someone in their place, life puts me in my place. I can't even think to myself "Wow, that person is really stupid," because as soon as I do that, I'll do something really stupid myself. It's as if life is saying, "No, YOU are the stupid one." Even on the positive side, if I'm with people talking and I suddenly think of the perfect story to tell with a funny punchline ending, if I do that, when I get to the punchline I'll make some expressive gesture and knock a drink off the table and everyone will go, "Oh no," and help to clean it up and my little story will go to hell. Whoops, I felt too good for a second, we can't have that now can we? I can't feel too good about anything, life or myself or anything else, or I'll get knocked down a peg. Apparently I'm meant to just go through life staring at my shoes and waiting for it to be over. Does anybody else hate ADD as much as I do? Does anyone else feel as hopeless about it as I do? I appreciate advice and all, but I'm convinced I'm a hopeless case. If I take medication, it'll seem to work until everything catches up again. Trying to follow organizational tips can sometimes seem to help at first but I get overwhelmed soon enough and start forgetting and I can't keep it up and everything goes to hell again. If I apply myself really hard to fixing any problem, I'll be neglecting something else that will fall apart. There is no hope. All I know to do to feel better is vent here. I hate ADD, and I hate myself. It pretty much sucks, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm doomed and cursed. But aside from that, everything's great!

[Formula1fan]

I have realized when my anxiety level is high it is easier to be hard on myself...do you feel that way?

[Tormented555 in reply to Formula1fan]

I'm harder on myself after I've done something stupid, which may be caused by anxiety? Anxiety isn't the main thing with me, more frustration. Although constantly screwing up has me anxious for where the next one is coming from sometimes, and I feel I can't relax, just waiting for the next disaster

[Spud-u-Like1982]

I'm with you on the ADD causing low self esteem and a lack of confidence. I'm not overly clumsy, despite being tall, but my large feet often cause me to walk up other people's ankles, or step on stuff I don't mean to.

I'm definitely awkward though, as I don't like being the centre of attention and just doing something like ordering a can of fizzy juice from a drinks machine, I always seem to either take too long or mess it up somehow. I get embarrassed and flustered being in a queue and just paying for something stresses me out, as I hate taking too long.

It's all very frustrating. I may have Autism with my now diagnosed ADHD and previously diagnosed OCD, so my brain is like a constant whirlwind and battleground of thoughts. My girlfriend thinks I'm lazy and calls me 'The Procrastinator', but when your brain is wired differently, it's just how it is. If I'm The Procrastinator, she's The Nagging Dragon!

[Tormented555 in reply to Spud-u-Like1982]

You could tell your girlfriend "there's no such thing as laziness" - that's a thing going around, I think there's even a book on it

[Lilwonder]

I so relate to everything you just shared. And, vent away! Sometimes we just need it.

And when you are done venting, sit down with Mindful Self Compassion meditation playing. It helps. Kristin Neff.

[WonderSher]

I’ve had many times when I’ve look at my ADHD as a superpower! But recently, I’ve been managing a lot of extra stress and can identify with a lot of your feelings. Thank you for sharing all of your frustrations so openly. It reminds me that I’m not alone and we all feel this way sometimes, especially when we try so hard and cannot always control the outcome. Thank you, again. It makes things easier for the rest of us who are feeling frustrated today. This, too, shall pass.