Need Support

[MorningDanceTrece]

I'm afraid and hesitant to make a post because the last time I exposed my emotions and my heart in this forum some serious piece of work decided to act their shoe size instead of their age and make an incredibly hateful and actually abusive response.

I don't have anywhere else to go with this right now however and it's really bothering me so I'm going to take a chance.

Be forewarned that if you act like a douche I will report you to the moderators and they do seem to take people being abusive seriously.

Today, I do not suffer fools gladly.

So this month is the 3-year anniversary of finding out that I have ADHD inattentive type.

I found out the previous September in 2021 that I am an autistic person also.

I have also been dealing with Alcohol / Substance Use Disorder and psychiatric / mental & emotional health issues for decades.

So I'm always thinking (well for the last 37 years) that I'll find another piece of the puzzle which will help me get more better and eventually I'll be exponentially better than I am.

It just dawned on me 2 days ago that I am never going to be "exponentially" better.

I don't know what it is so I need to continually try and fight the good fight but there is a ceiling or a cap or a limit to what my executive function and other positive abilities can be.

This is a very disheartening realization.

For a while knowing that I am neurodivergent actually made things easier.

That seems to have plateaued.

I am experiencing some kind of a clinical depression and massive anxiety which I am hoping will eventually be alleviated with the supplements and the medications that I'm taking.

I'm starting to realize that some of this depression and anxiety is down to the ADHD and autism not the bipolar and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I'm not precisely certain what to do with that or where to go with that.

I am in the process of getting connected to a professional institute that is going to do neurological testing and hopefully they will decide that I am ADHD and autistic and then once I have the diagnosis I will be able to get more accommodations, support, and help.

I feel frightened and alone and confused.

[1cupcake]

Hi im 59yrs lady I hear u I can very much relate wot u wrote im in very same position as u im in UK im struggling to get help for my needs in uk are system is a nightmare so trying to navigate that is my biggest problem as I see it from getting meds needs care treatment ectr is so difficult being ping-pong from gp to psychiatrist to social services round and round getting nowhere as noone seems to hear or understand the situation im alone no family or close friends so not alot of support but im OK reading ur post I feel that maybe u need some support im not happy to give my info out as not good with tech and safety stuff if u want and know away u could safely give me a way to contact u I would gladly do so forums like this site are great but I don't feel comfortable posting anything about myself as it feels to public to me im sending u a hug I get u and im same wishingu well ur not alone xx

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to 1cupcake]

Thanks ever so much, Cupcake😸.

I really appreciate you reaching out to me and your response.

It's possible here on Health Unlocked for us to private message each other without sharing any private information like our government names and then what we share with each other in the private message isn't in a forum for anyone else to see just that one person.

If you do respond to the private message that I send you I promise that I will be discreet and not share anything you share with me unless you specifically ask me to do so.

I'm really sincerely sorry to hear about your struggles which sound even worse than mine because I do have some support including an awesome therapist and a fantastic son and two amazing kitties 😹

I hope you have a peaceful and blessed day.

MorningDance

[1cupcake in reply to MorningDanceTrece]

Thanx for that😀im crap with online stuff lol im OK on my own always have been so no im not worse than u but wot struggles we having is the same is wot I identified u can still feel alone even amongst love ones sharing experiences can also support and inform each other on wot mite be helpfull thanx for ur reply good to meet u xx

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to 1cupcake]

Hey it's lovely to meet you too 🏵️

*Offers hugs*

[Goodtrouble in reply to 1cupcake]

I live in the Uk. I am also a professional and this is how I started to question what I was experiencing and it was not by chance that I seamed to get along really well with the young offenders I was working with. The system is indeed a nightmare and I can also see how many people get passed from pilar to post and this is as despite more professionals being more aware of the existence of neurodiversity they don’t actually take time to actually understand. For the first time in 20 years of career I actually dare to ask for support and accommodations and despite being spaced via access to work I had a lot of grief from employers, to the point when I finally got the assistive software it was blocked completely by it, equipment also render useless as they do not allow me to instal software that goes with it. Lo and behold I feel very isolated but also feel and understand so much from people that I work with about how they are treated. Everyone tell you not to use your ADHD as an excuse, however when convenient, other will use your disclosures to justify their bad actions towards you.

Also adult and late adult adhd has not just showed up, the complex mental health might just got so bad as you were not treated/taken seriously/ other responding to your needs in the way that is suitable. For example after banging on for a while as to why the equipment the officer provide is not meeting my needs I was ask to explain again and again why do I need full functionality of software, to the point where I just started to quote from the disability assessor report. So whilst a number of employers declare themselves disability confident meaning that they will put in place accommodations, but when it actually comes to practicalities, they make you feel way worse than you were before disclosing and asking for help.

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to Goodtrouble]

That does sound like quite the nightmare.

Thank you for responding.

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

🏵️ Peace and blessings to you🌼

[AuDHD]

It is hard. And you can do it. I was going to write "but you can do it." Then I remembered the dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) teaching to use "and" instead of "but." I find it's helpful to make that thinking switch. I'm struggling, too, and find that being able to commiserate with others helps me feel better, to know I'm not alone, and that others experience similar struggles. So I'm sorry it's hard. It's hard to acknowledge you have challenges that make some things a lot harder for you than they are for others. I know we can make it work though. Have faith in yourself and in humanity. Good luck!

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to AuDHD]

Thank you very much for your response full of helpful points which I appreciate.

I had forgotten replacing 'but' with 'and'.

That really is super helpful and useful.

I'm going to try to remember that henceforth.

🌼Peace and blessings 🏵️

[Chilo2024]

Hi! God have mercy! It is me in your words and feelings! Thanks for your gift story!I am close to your age, male, 57.

About my intro, "God have mercy" just as an expresión. And don't worry I'm not "flirting" , married by the way.

Yes, last year after A LOT of thinking of what is wrong with all those diagnosed on to me, anxiety, depresión, bipolar, cluster C accumulated over time medication was way off on my own researching etc.

Still do not have diagnosis but almost 100 percent certain it is Asperger, dislexia, ADD or all of the above! Trouble with substances and all you say is true for you too. Be certain that you are closer to your desired outcome.! Belief is number 1 . Research and understandig of the condition is obliged, hope comes in handy!

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to Chilo2024]

Lovely to make your acquaintance, Chilo.(Not flirting either, happily celibate).

I'm grateful that my story is a gift for you.

I'm also grateful that I can say that because up until very recently if someone said well you know your pain and your sufferings you can use to help somebody else I just got angry and upset and that's not fair and I don't want to help somebody else by having misery and woe.

But now it's like well okay that's what happened so at least it's some good can come out of it that'll be cool.

I've done extensive research and I've taken the tests that are available online and I've scored very high so I know that I'm AuDHD.

It's so easy to get Imposter Syndrome.

🏵️Wishing you peace and blessings 🌼

[Mamamichl]

I’m sorry you’re going through so much. The neuro evaluation will be beneficial. It’s typical for us to think we will get better, but we need to live ourswlved for who we are as well. I’ve been in DBT for a while, and it’s been helping with this. Also, I recommend these you tubers and their books if you do t already do them. ADHD_love (books are small talk and dirty laundry), how to adhd (book by same name) and the holderness family (book is adhd is awesome). The small talk one may be your best bet.

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to Mamamichl]

Thank you very much for your supportive reply for which I'm grateful 😸

Thank you for the resources to consider which I will.

🌼 Wishing you peace and blessings🏵️

[Mamamichl in reply to MorningDanceTrece]

Glad I could help zen hugs 🫂

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to Mamamichl]

*accepts hugs and offers hugs back*