At work trying to keep me under control

[Lorayluv7]

The ADHD got the bag at work. I didn't mention it cause I felt they would as me using it as a crutch to not take on more workload. Now my adhd has its pros and it's cons my hyperness helps me move fast and get the job done quicker but my hypertensiveness kind of tends to keep me focused on details mind you I have my housekeeper at a hotel but when I tend to hyper focus I take a little longer in the rooms my boss notice it and ask what was I doing cuz I slacking it or just being on my phone forgot to mention it's I have ADHD and I have her focus on making the bed perfect. She was cool with it so she kind of lets me do my thing this other coworker got promoted to be a supervisor he on the other hand sees it as a learning disability but I think he's discriminating on me in a sense because when he found out I have ADHD he's focused on it picking on what I'm doing wrong and he's constantly interrupting me as I'm doing my job which makes me forget things the littlest things but I mean it affects my work because he interrupts me while I'm in the groove of getting things done so I forget today before leaving work he said he was going to talk to the manager the owner whether I should stay or not since I don't pay attention to him and that I'm always forgetting things and that he has to always constantly return me back to her room where I forgot to put something in it made me really angry I kind of wanted to cry but I wasn't going to let him see me cry I didn't cry because he hurt my feelings I cried out of anger cuz I wanted to react and just hit him I just didn't say anything kept my mouth shut did what he asked me to do and on my way home I did cry a little bit because I was so angry I get home I cried a little bit more because now I'm facing a sit down with him and the owner tomorrow. I don't mind that cuz I will fight for my job because I know I didn't do anything wrong there's nothing wrong with me just wired differently but what pisses me off even more is that now I have to explain myself when I don't have to I'm not asking for special treatment but after all the therapy and counseling to get to where I am today I don't have to explain myself on why I'm just I work different I get the job done I just work different. So now I sit here dwelling in my own self pity because he actually just ruined my whole day about this whole situation self doubting myself again when I know I didn't do anything wrong I know I do my job right but anyway this little sadness I'll get over it and I should have not let him get under my skin the way he did but I am proud of myself for not letting my emotions take over I just smiled and nodded clocked out and came home thank you for listening

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome to the community Lorayluv7 !

From what you have said, it sounds like you know your job well, and you know how your ADHD affects how you do you job.

You mentioned that your coworker was recently promoted to supervisor. My experience with people who are newly hired it promoted into a supervisor or manager position is that most of them feel like they have to prove themselves. Some will do so by trying to be cheerleaders for the employees they oversee. Others feel like they have to try to identify "problems" to solve.

The latter type, whether they mean well or they are out to just bring attention to themselves, have a tendency to upset some people.

Since I've been in some supervisor roles (and been more the cheerleader/coach sort), I can say that some people who are newly promoted have feelings of "imposter syndrome", feeling like "How did I get this job? I don't feel like I'm up to this, so how do I prove that I deserve it?" Insecurity can make us overdo things, when just trying to do the "right thing".

However, I've also known of and had to work for some people who seemed very narcissistic, like they thought they were "all that". (Note: people who are truly narcissistic are sometimes the most insecure people of all.) The worst boss that I ever had tried to make a lot of changes at work, and while some of them seemed to make sense, most of them only made things worse. (He was hired as a manager to a tech team, but he had to tech experience, so he didn't understand the work that we did.)

I'm not trying to excuse the new supervisor's actions, because based on what you've said, it sounds like he's trying to be a "boss", whole has a lot to learn about being a real leader.

Since he has called for the meeting, he is going to have his say. If he is trying to use ADHD as a strike against you, then that is wrong on his part. He might be bending the ear of your boss, but you also have a right to be able to ask for a meeting with your boss to talk about the issues from your perspective. (Ultimately, it's up to your boss to decide how they will respond.)

ADHD is protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Unfortunately, it is not very well understood what protections there are for ADHD. It is generally said that there can be "reasonable accomodations". The interpretation of what accomodations are reasonable is where it can be difficult.

I think it might be fair for you to request that the new supervisor not interrupt you in the middle of your work.* For example:

• He should to let you finish a room before he checks your work.

• If he has specific feedback to your work process, he should make note do that at another time, not when you are in the midst of your regular duties, which I presume need to be done within a certain amount of time.

*(This is because interruption can completely disrupt progress. I've heard it said that by disrupting someone who is focused on a task, it can take 12-20 times longer for them to get their focus back on that task, than how long the disruption was. That's for people without ADHD. It's worse for people to have ADHD. I'm not certain that I got the numbers right, but I think you get the idea.)

Again, welcome to the adult ADHD group. For other ideas and information about ADHD and work, you might also check books, podcasts, and video channels about ADHD. Some that I like include:

• How To ADHD (YouTube channel and book of the same name, by Jessica McCabe)

• Dr. Russell Barkley (ADHD expert, author and YouTube channel host)

• ADHD Essentials (podcast by Brendan Mahan)

• Hacking Your ADHD (podcast by Will Curb)

(Note: those are just a few off the top of my mind. There are now many good ones, but I'm drawing a blank on any more names.)

[Lorayluv7 in reply to STEM_Dad]

Thank u for ur feed back I'm trying my very best to not let my ADHD effect my work or distract me I've researched some tricks and tips on Google YouTube audiobooks I'm trying my best cuz I don't want to lose my job but it's like he has me targeted cuz now today he says that somebody quote on quote said that they think I'm on drugs now cuz he sees me pretty much back and forth back and forth, like a tweaker that's all over the place I keep trying to repeat to him or try to make him understand without me having to cuss or be rude that that's the way I am and now he's also criticizing me on how I keep my cart yes for people that don't have ADHD it looks like a mess but in my head it makes sense cause I know where my things. I make notes so I won't forget he also doesn't like my note taking cause it looks messy. to be honest with you he made me cry today cause he made me question myself the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do again I did a lot of of therapy to make me realize there's nothing wrong with me so for me to question myself again because of him he cried I kept it together until the end of my shift until I got home and I cried a little bit not because he offended me but I out of frustration anger and the need to not explain myself to him and here's the kicker the cherry on top of all of this turns out he's not the supervisor his position at work is only to check the rooms not to tell us what to do not to bosses around and that made me even more mad. And made a suggestion to me one of many things I hate to hear "I should take my meds if not I seek professional help to get meds" at that point I shut down and walked away.

[DopamineMachine in reply to Lorayluv7]

Woooooow that is so inappropriate for him to say! I wonder if his comments and behavior may constitute harassment.

I'm gonna repeat what my doctor told me about disability-related discrimination in the workplace... DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!! It is HIS behavior that is problematic (and possibly illegal/discriminatory), NOT yours!! Stay strong!

[Lorayluv7 in reply to DopamineMachine]

Well I finally got to talk to my boss cuz she was on a mini vacay due to the holidays so when she got back she kind of got word of what was going on so she and I talked and she also said that is harassment and he had no right to ask me if I was on meds or to seek meds and she's going to talk to him and if he happens to do it again then yes she will document it herself because I read up on the laws and stuff and yes it was harassment and so that's a bit of good news that I kind of felt relieved that that happened because me not already knowing what I know I would have reacted and wanted to hit him I still do but I mean it's not worth it but I'm kind of glad that I got to voice and stand up for myself and my boss does understand that he was being rude and over stepped his boundary even for the simple fact that he has he does not have the position to tell me that stuff he's not even a manager shift leader it's none of that stuff so I have to get ready for work now mentally preparing

[DopamineMachine]

I completely agree with STEM_Dad. I want to add a couple of thoughts and resources from my own experience, as I've been having to research disability protections for employees myself and have learned a lot:

- Document EVERYTHING. Every interaction you have where you feel your supervisor or anyone else at work may be discriminating against you. Keep detailed notes... just in case, as a record. The ADA provides you with legal protection against discrimination, retaliation, wrongful termination, etc., but you may have to use the legal system to enforce those protections, so written documentation is important in case it comes to that.

- If you ask your employer to accommodate your ADHD-related needs at work (as in the example given by STEM_Dad to ask your supervisor not to interrupt you while you're working, which I think makes sense), the ADA essentially REQUIRES that they accommodate that request, unless it provides them "undue hardship" (which from what I understand is extremely hard for an employer to prove in court, if it came to that). Even if you make the request verbally, it is protected by the ADA; however, I recommend also documenting it in an email if you can (maybe after the meeting) so that you have evidence of when you initiated the accomodation request process.

- The ADA even protects you against "perceived disability," which is when your employer treats you differently because of their PERCEPTION of your disability, which may be based in bias/stereotypes and not the actual facts of how ADHD affects you at work... i.e., if they assume that you are more impaired than you are, or that you are somehow less capable than other workers because of your condition. If your supervisor or anyone else started treating you differently AFTER you disclosed to them that you have ADHD, that may be what's happening!

- If you were given (or can find) your job description from when you were initially hired, or another document outlining your official job duties, review it prior to your meeting with leadership and bring it with you. I bet it doesn't say "must pay attention to supervisor" or "must remember everything supervisor says", but lists the actual tasks & responsibilities you have. Provided you are able to perform your "essential tasks" despite your ADHD, you should be protected from your supervisor's little "power trip" demands under the ADA. Those should not be fireable offenses.

- Your employer is not allowed to ask you questions about your disability unless they are directly related to your ability to do your job. If they do, you aren't obligated to answer.

Good luck, Lorayluv7! It sounds like you're doing great work and your supervisor is trying to put you down for the ways that you are different in order to inflate his own sense of competence. It's a shame, but it's very common. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS, my friend!

Here are some of the most helpful resources I've found so far:

EEOC workplace discrimination website: eeoc.gov/know-your-rights-w...

EEOC enforcement guidance document: eeoc.gov/laws/guidance/enfo...

Job Accommodation Network (JAN) - disability accomodation resources for employees and employers: askjan.org/index.cfm