Feeling lost and hopeless: ....... and... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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Feeling lost and hopeless

starsallover profile image
15 Replies

....... and I don't know where to start. Just having a rough few weeks.

- had psych appt before the psych got assessment results and she was just interested in upping dose of anxiety meds or giving me gabapentin. Have another appointment in early Dec.

- Mother went into hospital again and had another surgery

- I had my own surgery and I'm just able to get up and around the last 2 days

- I'm bored and lonely, I've been talking to 2 freinds about what's been going on so hope that helps

- the amount of things I've gotten exited about, researched endlessly, started a bit but didn't get very far is really weighing on me. I dont trust myself. I know that when I can focus better, those things will be there. But it seems like they're crowding me in like tribbles and I'm hopeless it'll get better any time soon. It's to the point where if I do have an intrest in something, I sigh and my shoulders drop because I dont trust that I'll actually do much with it past what I mentioned earlier. Yes, I know there are other ways of thinking about it that can help, but I'm not there yet

- Just want to have a vacation from being me. I'm tired of being resilient.

- seems that my brainpower is dwindling. I think about giving up often. Then I feel terrible about even thinking that. I have a n affordable apartment in a safe area, money in savings, food, good freinds, medical care etc.... Yes, life isn't perfect and my brain sure isnt, but I feel this way at least a few times a week. I want something better!

Heavy thoughts. I need a break from myself. Yes, I'm seeing a wonderful counselor and I don't plan on harming myself. I'm safe and have faith that things will get better. But stuck in the weight of now. Its sucking my down.

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starsallover profile image
starsallover
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15 Replies
STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad

Thanks for sharing.

It sounds like you do indeed have a lot weighing you down. It's good that you can still count your blessings.

While you can't take take a vacation from being yourself, are you able to take some quiet time to meditate, or read, or something? Or do you have any creative pursuits that you enjoy?

Do you have anyone that you can get together with for some positive social time? Friends? Other family members?

BigWu profile image
BigWu

Not to spread my bad habits, but mindless scrolling can at least be a distraction. As for something hopeful, I find that being supportive of others helps get me out of my own head (which explains why I'm here replying 😁)

GatsbyCat profile image
GatsbyCat

Hey starsallover- Sorry you're going through such a hard time right now. YOU can get past this moment. Personally when I feel like this I turn to meditation. Exercise is also a depression buster. Highly recommend both.With all of the s☆☆☆ you have going on, and the fact you can still be grateful shows a lot of character. Don't be so hard on yourself.

An excellent book that has helped me is AdHD 2.0 and it's very good.

Take care of yourself and hope this journey called life shows you some joy.

best regards

Gatsby the 🐈

Wow, not to make this about me. But this sounds exactly like me when I feel completely burned out. You have described it to a T.

The journey I am currently on is learning to let myself have rest and fate that the energy to start something will come again.

This is hard to see right now, but this might be because you and your mind needs rest and sleep first and in your case recovery.

You are not alone and your message made me felt really seen, so thank you for that.

wtfadhd profile image
wtfadhd

its okay to be grateful for what u have and at same time feel overwhelmed n need respite. those two things are not mutually exclusive. ❤️

Tormented555 profile image
Tormented555

Thank you so much for sharing your situation.. I can relate to almost every single part of it. The only things that are different are that I am male, which may be the reason for an added rage component to my situation, and my mother isn't in surgery and I don't typically feel lonely, except in maybe thinking that I am alone in that there is no one else who has it this bad. But I relate completely to everything else, everything else, all of the other feelings, also to negative experiences with people prescribing medications, and to having a great therapist who means well but can't really do anything, because nobody can, I'm convinced I'm beyond help, but actually one of the things that's helped me most is seeing your post. Ironically I was going to make my own post and talk about how utterly hopeless I feel, with the idea that maybe I can help somebody else (per someone else's suggestion on here), and now I see that such things can actually help, because I'm being helped now by hearing your story. Part of my problem is that I feel I'm like nobody else, I'm in my own category, and that while I appreciate well wishers, part of me is always saying inside, "I appreciate it, but you don't understand, and that's not your fault, because you've never seen anything this bad, because I don't think there is anything this bad," but now I feel like I'm not quite so alone. Thank you and best of luck. Rather than make this reply all about me, (too late? 🤔) I'm going to make my own post, that's why I can't on here, when your headline caught my eye. I don't have much in the way of advice, beyond saying that one thing that keeps me going is reading. Even though I hardly ever finish a book, it's a great escape that provides me some relief in getting me out of my hellish existence for a little while. I have think it helps keep me from being lonely as well. Take care, I really hope things get better for you, I believe they will, as my uncle said to me once, "They kind of have to, right?" And finally, thank you again for helping me by sharing your story, and inspiring me to write mine. I hope that knowing you've helped someone (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) helps you 🙂

Mamamichl profile image
Mamamichl

I think everyone with afhd feels this way, especially when overwhelmed.

AuDHD3245 profile image
AuDHD3245

Hello. It's a double edge sword with this because on one side, you're talking about all the bad things, and it seems like it's all happened recently. That itself points to depression and anxiety.

On the other side, you may have already had the right diagnosis. We're born with ADHD. ADHD in adults is a new thing, it's usually diagnosed in children. If your assessment results have come back as a negative, they've based it on what you've told them.

You may not be able to change that now. They look at that sort of thing. Please forgive me if i'm wrong, I dont have your details, but if you've written, good at school, paying attention, no problems, fine concentrating, never naughty, always polite, never late, did your homework, could read and write really well, did well in your exams, doesnt that say your symptoms now have developed?

It's not easy having ADHD/ Autism and being put on the spectrum as an adult, and can cause some very hard feelings.

If your problems at home are making you feel that way, imagine what it would be like if you found out you're on the spectrum for the rest of your life! As well as those problems.

Sounds like a a classic bout of depression to me, but, obviously I dont know you, so it's likely i'm wrong.

The symptoms of depression and anxiety do overlap with ADHD, and the psych maybe wrong, but, it's not just about what you say, it's how you are. We're on the spectrum, we're different, unique, and have been since we were born. It may be difficult to see past your medical history if this has only just started occurring.

We all have a medical records that shows every single thing we have ever been for help for.

In some cases people are diagnosed with ADHD and the doctor reduces their anxiety tablets and gives them anti depressants. So the anxiety meds, should in theory work for ADHD

CraigD666 profile image
CraigD666

Ahhhh it's some times very energy zapping like you I wake up some days and think why do I keep doing this then remember ive a lot more to annoy

GatsbyCat profile image
GatsbyCat in reply toCraigD666

Aww..yes the very thought of annoying others can be quite exhilarating...blood coursing through your veins.. all focused on REVENGE..SWEET SWEET REVENGE!!! Muuhaha says my inner child. Actually, that's a total waste of energy. Far better to use that feeling and say " My best revenge is to have a fabulous life" and try our best to go get it 🦁

CraigD666 profile image
CraigD666 in reply toGatsbyCat

After many years I do choose my reaction careful and some times to smile is a better reaction from them

Burhanerdem profile image
Burhanerdem

It is a miracle to express your feelings and try to stay on. I know each of us has that kind of time that feels our life unworthy, but it is essential to know that we must be careful to stay healthy, get outside, exercise, and even meet with friends or family members to get emotional support.

Finding out the deepest self and working on the feelings, like identifying these feelings and finding out common points between your past emotions and today, might help you determine your inner self-feeling. Also, I recommend you do mindfulness meditation 3-5 times a week because when you do meditation, it enables you to align your body and mind. Eventually, you will contemplate what your body and mind need to be much more accessible.

In the end, thank you for encouraging me to share my inner realm.

BeamBlue profile image
BeamBlue

Thank you for sharing your challenges. Your message hit home to me because even though I try to do the 'right' things to get out of my hole, the energy isn't always there. I have found two things that help give me a spark to help get through the low times. One is to get into nature - just going outside and breathing in fresh air or a walk can be my form of meditation. The other is to tap into my creative side. For me that can be writing down whatever is flowing through my brain and sometimes it becomes a story of sorts. I also like to cook and chopping vegies can be soothing to me while I concoct some sort of recipe. The other things is to research garden designs and fuss with my new found hobby of potted tropical plants. If you can, be open to finding those little sparks that can help you get through to the other side. Know you are not alone!

starsallover profile image
starsallover

Hello everyone, and thanks for your messages. I've been reading them over the last few days and have meant to reply. I'm kind of overwhelmed by the thought that I need to reply to everything at once. Yes, I know I don't have to do it that way, but my brain is just working like that right now. Just k now that I am comforted by the things that you're saying and they're helping me out. I think this is part of a transition period Of some sort. At some point I'll get around to replying to some of the messages. until then, just know that you have been heard and I appreciate all of you.

Burhanerdem profile image
Burhanerdem

I use meditation techniques to overcome the challenging time, and it has been working for me. Also, I pray every morning to God because I can wake up for new opportunities. I think you can find something to pray about, like the meaning of your life.

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