Lost

I'm posting this because I feel like I'm supposed to. Several things are going on right now. Don't care to get into the details really. So here's the simplest version. I have no clue, where to be, how to be once I'm there, and a general sense of not feeling like I have any place at all. I hardly know who I am. I drive my wife crazy every day. She is so strong and tries so hard, even though she suffers daily herself, and needs so bad for me to be present with her. There's an ongoing conversation about me, which I always start. I hate myself nearly violently. I feel every action I take is misguided and wrong. I feel every word I speak is either way too exaggerated, offensive, egotistical, or an assumption assigning my emotions to the world around me or my wife. A vow of silence sounds beautiful but impossible. Can't be present for anyone or anything beyond my own self-loathing, and when I try, I seem to forget every little detail for what I'm supposed to do. THANK GOD I'M SEEING A PSYCHOLOGIST WEDNESDAY. I don't want to be human anymore.

[Shnookie]

U R not nobody. U R important to us in the group. It does sound like U have a lot going on in your life. It is good that U R seeing

your psychologist. ? Is your doctor

allowed to prescribe anti-anxiety

anti- depression meds. These might be helpful to U. I’m in your corner.

Hugs 🤗 M

[gphill56]

THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE AND THERE ARE SOLUTIONS! Lots of us on here have had some combination of the things you've mentioned. Right now you're taking an invaluable first step by seeing a psychologist. There are tons of miscellaneous resources out there, but I agree with Shnookie that medication might be a good place to start. A lot of people on here have also successfully utilized CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to help themselves. PLEASE report back to us on this forum how things go with your psychologist meeting.

[KarenADHDWeekly Partner]

Hello Mr. Somebody!

You are not a nobody, so it's important that I not address you that way. It's obvious you are in a great deal of emotional pain right now, whether from ADHD symptoms or other health concerns.

I'm glad to learn you are seeing a psychologist. I strongly suggest adding a pyschatrist to your health care team. In the meantime, you should also share what you've written here with your current health care professional or doctor. It seems you could benefit from some immediate medical care. I am concerned your feelings reflect a great health problem right now; and please understand that mental health care *is* health care.

Resources to find additional healthcare providers:

psychologytoday.com/us/ther...

finder.psychiatry.org/

aamft.org/Directories/Find_...

suicidepreventionlifeline.o...

If you find your feelings to be overwhelming before you can get into see your pyschologist, you can call the Lifeline at

800-273-8255

They can help you at anytime of the day or night and they want to talk with you.

It's hard right now, but things can and will get better.

Best wishes during a difficult time,

Karen

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

[happyhermit]

Dear Mr., I'm so glad you're going to see a psychologist tomorrow. That is seriously the most important thing, taking that first step to ask for help. Thank you for posting here. The fact that you bothered to reach out, to the forum and to a psych, means that you aren't 100% without hope, which means you are right where you need to be in order to start healing. Keep the faith! Don't give up too quickly, either -- it doesn't necessarily get better all at once, but it DOES get better!

[GatsbyCat]

Hello, Mr. Somebody~

I concur with all of the other writers! You are important to your wife, us and everyone you touch in this life.

Hope that your psychologist meeting Wednesday goes well. Please tell them everything, do NOT hold back.. I've done that. It doesn't matter how small something seems, just get it all out and encourage your lovely wife to join a support group too.

Neurotypicals need help dealing with us ADHD'ers as well. God knows, my fiance Eric, who is loving and supportive needs to be able to vent/rant about me too... Here's a group others have mentioned that is helpful- I think it's about $7.50 for couples monthly

add.org/virtual-peer-suppor...

Please let us know how you are doing this week? We really want to know that you're ok and in a better place.

Best wishes on this amazing journey of life.

Take care~

GatsbyCat🎃

[ADHDArchitect]

Get treated for depression and stop the negative self talk. Until you start to challenge your negative beliefs, nothing is going to change.