How can I live like this?

[Tormented555]

ADD makes it hard to get through each day sometimes. I can't relax any more, just waiting for the next disaster. I want to obliterate this messed up part of me, but the only way I know is by obliterating myself and I don't want to do that. My constant mantra is "I can't take it any more." But of course I can, I have to. What else is there? Sometimes I can't wait to die. It feels like only then will I be free from the endless nightmare

[Rocko_35]

I had this episode, where I couldn’t handle the responsibilities of my life. But for a while I was willing to let everything in my life fail— marriage, parenting, job and spirituality. I was thinking maybe I just need to start a new and just rebuild. I too was waiting for the end, though I would never consider taking any action to hasten the end.

I went on a brief stint of therapy. The adhd/add is almost intolerable when you are going through something emotional. My therapist’s advise was “give yourself grace.”

Perhaps you need to lower the expectations of yourself. No one knows how hard it is for people like us to get this far. You’re running a marathon with extra weight, and it’s not surprising that you would be more tired than most.

But the duration of your endurance shows you have resilience greater than most. The good times are on the horizon.

Are you taking anything for the add?

[Knowingme]

I feel exactly the same and I have lost everything in my life from not being responsible for my actions. Keep Ur chin up and take everyday as it comes things will get better in life

[ADDandMe]

it’s good you’ve identified the mantra that goes through your head. It’s not a helpful one. I think it’s time to explore self love and acceptance.

I did a course called Overcoming Self Sabotage on Daily OM. (Around £12/ $15) It helped me to understand my actions and reevaluate how I treated myself.

Begin to accept that no one is perfect. We do not need to strive for that. In terms of how appealing we are to others, our flaws are actually what can make us more likeable! No one likes someone who is perfect all the time. Adopt the attitude of ‘good enough’ and learn to really tune into your feelings as the most important thing. What happens is secondary. If you can an align yourself to a set of values and use those as your compass, then other things don’t matter. For me - I follow the Daily Stoic on instagram. Ryan Holiday shares the Stoic principles of Wisdom, Courage, Justice & Temperance (moderation) .. his little insights have helped me to take a step back and appreciate the important things in life. We are so small in the universe and being hard on ourselves does not achieve anything. Our lives are a precious gift and we can do hard things. Ryan talks about the lessons from the Stoics in his books - Discipline is Destiny, The Ego is the Enemy, The Obstacle is the Way etc. these ideas all help me to know what to do when I feel a little lost and overwhelmed.

Find sources of wisdom that guide you. I follow Jay Shetty, Wayne Dyer, Mel Robbins and others.

ADHD is hard at times but there are so many strengths. Try to shine the light on those and get help with the things that are too challenging.

Can you list 3 strengths and 3 challenges as a starting point. And identify 1,2 or 3 new sources of wisdom.

Thinking of you in this moment of challenge. It is temporary.

[DoeJane7]

After my diagnosis and learning about ADHD, I was able to understand and accept me. I really enjoy being me, most of the time, almost. At 52 I have 1 friend that I see maybe every three weeks. No intimate relationship for 11 years. My family isn't close, and I have no desire to change this. Every thing always falls apart.I'm always hurting and then going back 5 times. I hear myself sometimes. I am so tired of being me. This is my first time communicating si ce I joined 2 years ago. I am absolutely disgusted with doctors. Also with the general population who shuns and judges.

There's something else i say, usually to others, but I know It's for me....be kind to yourself.

What I love about me, super caring, I can teach myself how to do anything I want to do. My car, rebuilding a crazy trailer. I am seriously funny and entertaining. There's more bit I'm bored now sorry.

[KarlaJo in reply to DoeJane7]

Be kind to yourself. Acceptance and self love.

I got a lot from your response!

I was doing so much better this past year with embracing my ADHD and neurodiverse ways. This week I’ve just felt stuck.

Moving forward by remembering to be kind to myself.

[Colls47]

man, I feel exactly the same . I’m 49 and just diagnosed ASD and adhd in last year . I’m out of work for last 6 years after caring for my now deceased parents , which tbh has screwed me total . I’m pushing hard hard hard with the gym with volunteering with parenting , and at times , it helps , but I’m tired . I ache . I hurt . I don’t know me any more . Thought I had it all together and was so strong for everyone . But now I feel I’m weak and that’s it . I get you . I wish there was an answer. Every morning when I wake , my head says I can’t . I just can’t . But somehow I get up , and walk . I dread interaction with my kids and wife ( how crazy ) yet I yearn connection . ?? I tried some meds but gave me real bad anxiety on top of my depression and already existing anxiety . I’ve been on off anti depressants all my life . Currently 150mg Effexor . Don’t think it’s doing anything . I feel for you , but like the fact others can relate, and the hope that better days are coming . It’s hard when your nearest and dearest can’t understand . You’ve got this , you came here and spoke . So somewhere inside you is a part of you that wants you to be you and cope . I sometimes wonder for me if I just need to not cope for a while . But the guilt inside won’t let me . Be strong , and if you want a chat I’m always about

[Tormented555 in reply to Colls47]

Thank you so much.. best of luck to you.. I posted that on one of my worst days, thankfully they're not all like that

[Colls47 in reply to Tormented555]

You to!

Im the same, if drinking or taking class A’s like decades ago , I was coping with life and working etc . Now I only have a couple of beers on A Friday night , and feel so much More with it just with a couple of beers , but can’t do that every night . Best of luck !!

[Michi-can-draw]

My heart truly truly goes out to you. I am a mother who is on this site for her son. It helps to read posts like yours to help me better understand my young man.

As a mom it breaks my heart to hear your feelings; however, I am so proud of you too. You are actively looking out for help ( Just like me and everyone else on this site). By sharing your feelings, you are not only giving other people permission to be just as vulnerable by sharing their feelings too but you are also helping people like my self who have loved ones dealing with similar issues.

Thank you.

Although I don’t personally deal with ADHD/ADD. I have had my own “nightmares” in my life (death of loved ones, work issues, relationships, my cancer battle, . . Etc.

Several years ago, I felt myself growing extraordinarily depressed as I sat in a wheelchair barely able to even move myself anymore.

Then, a reality woke me up out of the sorrow I was experiencing, when I realized what was was happening to me. I cried out to God, “ Please God not my mind! Do not let me end in a pit of despair. . .

I can deal with this dear God with your help, but DO NOT let me loose hope. I can do this!”

I thought: how many little children have I seen go through far worse and rose as beacons of hope and joy. True inspirations. “Dear God please reframe my mind. . . “

And you know what? He did.

Life went on, things in my life got better eventually. But the greatest gift I received out of it all was the gift of hope,

After that day I actively sought out the Lords voice and journaled the counselations I received.

Hang in there buddy. You can do this. You’ve got this. You’ll have a story to share. Do not let despair get the best of you. No more negative self talk. You are amazing! You have been through so much and your can get through this too. The right tools are already coming your way.

Peace be with you.

[Tormented555 in reply to Michi-can-draw]

Thank you so much 🙂 Peace be with you as well 🙂

[JamiHIS Administrator]

Dear Tormented555:

Thank you for contacting CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD. I see that you are struggling with your ADHD symptoms. Some of the symptoms you describe are common for those with ADHD and some may require further evaluation to see if they are the result of a co-occurring condition. There are many resources that can help you manage your ADHD. Sometimes it can feel like you are the only person with these struggles, but please know that you are not alone and that with proper education and support, you can manage your ADHD symptoms and live fully!

I know that you indicated you don't have health insurance but here is a resource that you might find helpful: chadd.org/wp-content/upload....

If you need someone to talk with or feel like you are in crisis, you can contact 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours.

Sincerely,

Jami

Health Information Specialist Manager

Admin