Fixations or hyper-focused but daydreaming or switching tasks contradiction

[daverussell]

I'm awaiting assessment for adult ADHD.

I'm inattentive to conversations and fidget when sitting. If I do listen I'm always having to refrain from interupting. I've had this all my life. I can find reading or listening to audio books difficult. I daydream or get distracted. I generally forget what Ive just heard or was doing, then thinking or doing something different. I.e. off task.

At other times, though rarely, I can sit and read for hours. E.g Ive read Lord of the Rings 10 times. Ive read the Games of Thrones series. Its an effort, but nothing I thought anyone else wouldn't experience. I do this with work and spend hours on something, but not prioritising.

However, in contrast, I will find it difficult to switch tasks and want to be a perfectionist. I spot mistakes that I may have made due to daydreaming despite making effort to, say proof-read. Often I may have done enough, but cant leave it. I watch people with envy who have attention to detail and can do it without effort. I just want to do a good job, but I over-work something/over-complicate it. I have to edit mistakes in messages I've sent to add details that I forgot to add. I think it's that I have found coping mechanisms, but at the cost of doing extra hours at work or working at home. I go to work early to catch up and avoid distractions.

Another trait I have is fixating or ensuring i have a process or routine for, well what feels like everything at home - yet I loose stuff; forget where I put it within second s. Ive changed or go against my "system". An example, is getting breakfast thongs ready, then making my pack lunch. It has to be in a particular order. Im a teacher and I experience the same when planning lessons. I use a checklist so I can remember to do it or that I've completed planning the lessons. Even to prioritise the order I do them. It doesn't always prevent distractions, but it's better than nothing I suppose.

Does anyone with ADHD or professional relate to this? As I said I'm awaiting an assessment, so im maybe overthinking it now.

Ironically, I need to refrain from editing this post.

[MemphisAdhd1988]

Welcome and thanks for sharing. I am right there with you on the reading and audiobooks. 99% of the time it is difficult to focus on reading, but in my life a few books have caught my attention enough to rip through them. And audiobooks are hard to focus on, but I don’t mind talk radio.

I also “overthink” most tasks, trying to come up with best way to do something. It can be good when if falls under problem solving, but most of the time it is wasted brain power.

Read my bio for some other info.

[daverussell in reply to MemphisAdhd1988]

Thank you for your reply I've read your Bio. Wow! That is fantastic and I really hope things work out. You're wife is an amazing woman.

[daverussell in reply to daverussell]

I read your Bio again. Keep up the good work. I reduced my drinking (and binge eating sugary snack) after a diagnosis for Diabetes in December 21. Im now prediabetic and on the road to reversing it. In fact, symptoms Ive had for some years, that I finally put down to diabetes haven't gone. This got me looking at ADHD. I did an WHO initial assessment for ADHD, after posting about two weeks ago. I took this to my doctor last week who has now referred me.

[Newcassie]

Thanks for sharing … the difficulty listening and struggle not to interrupt is exactly my experience. I was diagnosed with ADHD 6 months ago at age 64. The medication I take is helping me tremendously but I still have ADHD and listening to pure audio (no visuals with it) is still torturous after about 20 minutes.

[Arggirl]

oh wow! You are me! I am a teacher too (maths) and really relate to all that you say. I have a particular problem processing the aural answers and reasoning students give me as soon as it is more than just words (which as a maths teacher is a lot!). I cannot focus on the answer long enough to process it. My daughter was assessed for adhd last year and it’s made me think perhaps I am too, although her exec function issues are much worse. I doubt myself and whether getting a diagnosis would really help, so I am really interested to read your story and what diagnosed people think about your comments.

I struggle with the editing thing too

[daverussell in reply to Arggirl]

"I cannot focus on the answer long enough to process it." - 100% me. Processing is hard, especially with any background noise or other distractions. It's a struggle. My hearing is poor anyway (since I was a child), and i now wear Hearing aids. This helps my tinnitus more than anything; all of it maybe over compensated with what could be ADHD. I make the students aware of my ' hearing problems' and they are amazing. I start teaching HNC Computing this year so processing and discussion will be interesting.

All the best.

[daverussell]

Further to my OP and the excellent replies, does anyone know if these traits ive mentioned are coping mechanisms rather that symptoms of ADHD? As they are mutually inclusive, are they therefore symptomatic? Just splitting hairs, maybe.

[emiL1234]

Do not forget to look at high functioning autism! Good luck!

[daverussell in reply to emiL1234]

Indeed, it could be many symptoms manifesting. Im happy to get through the door to speak to someone at this stage. Thank you.

[emiL1234]

You seem very objective about your symptoms. I could never explain mine properly to 5 groups of professionals. You are very clear.

[daverussell in reply to emiL1234]

For years it's gone round in my head. Ive joked about some traits and behaviours (more than often OCD), but my hyperfocus has always contradicted what I thought i knew. Even my wife who works with SEN students hadn't realised or thought that much about adult ADHD. It's only been the last few weeks that I've made other links; behaviours that I thought were normal and just thought Im just an active person and maybe too much of a perfectionist.

I'm starting to realise that maybe ive found coping mechanisms and had some success such as completing a first-class degree in my forties and teacher qualifications. However, it's also masked a lot my failures.

I still have my reservations about ADHD, but I can no longer ignore the symptoms. So whatever it is, I share those behaviours and it has detrimental effects on my daily life. It needs sorting.

[Gettingittogether]

ADHD is a brain condition that involves attention. Stopping a task to shift to another important appointment) is part of attention. Shifting from project x to projeck k at 3:30 p.m. Yes, that's part of attention and yes, that's classic ADHD on the attention side.

I remember reading about some executive with ADHD. His assistant made sure to schedule lots of transition time, time to allow her boss to switch off from previous task to current task.

Most of us don't have assistants, so we have to be our own assistants.

ADHD isn't just the challenge of holding attention on one task.

it's also the ability to control and shift attention.

[pineapple01039]

I relate to what you are sharing in a few different way. I was diagnosed (incorrectly) as a child with ADD- and now at age 40 realizing my adhd diagnosis is more of a spectrum diagnosis with ASD and ADHD.

i have specific trouble with the proof reading example you gave. I recently examined my "perfectionistic" tendencies more closely... in my experiece I will edit and rewrite something 100 times (if i allow myself) and i realized its not me trying to be a perfectionistic- which i used to beleive. in my experience this happens to me when i communicate in writing because I now know I have cognitive impairments with language (both hearing and writing learning disabilities) and not because im trying to be perfectionistic.

when i write and then proof read i will start having anxiety that i am not communicating in a way others will understand it best- and that is where i get stuck in my "editing".... this goes far beyond just checking my grammar, spelling and sentence structure, which would be a "normal" way to proof read.. i will obsess about what i wrote and how i wrote it because i dont know if others will understand it or if i said it in the right way and then some of my adhd tendencies kick in like i forgot that i should have mentioned facts about x, y and z, but when adding those details it then leads me to question the entire peice i have written and if i should have said it all differently.. 😂😂😂😂

also, the part about routines and having a system. i do this with everything and I get really upset if my system/routine is interrupted and i have to change courses. i learned this is the ASD side of me than it is ADHD.

best of luck with your diagnosis and i agree with the other commenter that you should investigate ASD (austism spectrum) too because some of your statements are along those lines based on my own experience.

I am trying to locate the correct provider right now and from my experience with MDs, PHDs, clinicians (and also reading books) its hard to find someone who is an expert. a book I recently read about getting diagnosed said there is a big difference between the practitioner who took an 8 hour workshop on diagnosing/treating adhd or asd and a clinician who is a specialist in that area because the lines between adhd and asd blur/not picked up to the less trained/experienced professional.