ADHD or not?

[BrainFogging]

So my wife came to me the other week and said ‘I think you have ADHD, check out the symptoms’. My first thought was ‘Rubbish, ADHD kids are the ones that run around all the time, can’t sit still and don’t do well in school’.

However when I read more about it my next reaction was ‘OMG’ that sounds like me.

All my life I have been:

A terrible procrastinator

Have difficulty planning

Forget stuff all the time

Am easily distracted

Often find it difficult to focus on what people are saying

Used to have anxiety about talking to new people

will obsess about a new interest, whether it’s a new music group or a hobby

Get bored easily with the finer details in a project.

I often feel restless and feel I need to be doing something. But then other times I rebel if my partners asks me to do something I’m not interested in.

OK, so am not asking for a clinical diagnosis, but does this resonate with others in here? I’m considering a professional diagnose.

[Knitting20projects]

It certainly sounds like enough to pursue an evaluation. Definitely request a mental health professional and not a GP to do it, as GPs often don’t have enough expertise. If it’s a long wait time, you can find excellent information on the ADDitude website about non-medication strategies for managing ADHD. Not saying you have it, but you might find the information useful anyway regardless of your ultimate outcome. There are many people with great ideas in this group who were diagnosed as adults after lifelong symptoms. Welcome!

[lemonspeaks in reply to Knitting20projects]

agreeing about getting it from a professional not your regular doctor. I recommend going on Psychology Today and filtering to see people who do assessment and testing.

[Hominid711 in reply to Knitting20projects]

...completely agree. Not a GP. And go armed with a list of your symptoms which fit with ADHD and if you have other symptoms list them extra. People often have ADHD plus...This can be depression, anxiety, OCD, ODD, and lots of others. And take the wife!!

[Wasted71years]

Those symptoms make it seem worthwhile to go forward and get a qualified diagnosis.

There can be other causes for the symptoms, thus the diagnose will ensure that these are not better explained by other causes that can be addressed.

Any of the symptoms can occur to anyone at one time or another. Diagnosis looks for the degree and constancy of these symptoms and what impacts they may have caused to you in multiple settings - work, school, personal.

I didn't realize that I was burdened by ADHD until I was almost 72 and was properly assessed, although there had been times when the impacts were identified but this was before ADHD was even named or understood. Near misses in having understood this earlier did crop up but at each time it was before the science was settled such as whether it couldn't exist in adults.

You are fortunately asking the questions now, when great progress has been made in understanding the condition. Best wishes as you move forward and explore this.

[Annebam]

I recently listened to a great podcast episode that could be just what you’re looking for. It’s called Struggle Care with KC Davis. Episode 31: “Wait. Am I ADHD?”

I’ve been listening to her podcast to better understand how my boyfriend’s ADHD brain works, and I’m really loving it. Hope it helps!

[lemonspeaks]

I’d definitely get the full assessment. I felt so validated and relieved after having the 4 hour assessment came back with the official diagnosis.

[SoTiredADHD in reply to lemonspeaks]

are you referring to the online quiz/test/questionnaire? I just did a full diagnostic test. Like you said it feel validated for sure! Been dealing with depression and adhd… and who knew what else, since symptoms sometimes seem to blur together. Getting the results help tremendously on going forward with treatment!

[SoTiredADHD]

Symptoms are spot on for ADD. Some disorders have same symptoms so never know if other issues… of course I’m not saying you HAVE something else. Just beneficial to acknowledge all symptoms.

Like someone mentioned earlier comments, to not go to general practitioner for guidance but to a specialist. So much time can be wasted over the years trying pill after pill, counseling, which I had no idea there are different types. like talk therapy, CBT Cognitive behavioral therapy, and more! Wasted sooo much time makes me sad! ADD wasn’t acknowledged as much as depression for me. Also hormones since I was age of starting perimenopause. they focused on my struggles at home, family, extended family, self esteem etc… which are valid of course, but ADHD was missed!

Sorry I ramble on! 😆 point being there are many routes of care, make sure you feel VERY happy with care you get, especially in therapy! I should have quit multiple people over the years (18 btw) my psychiatrist (ignore stigma with that word) actually referred me OUT of their practice! To a CENTER that focuses on ADHD. Been about 6 months and major change in medications, have therapist that gives me homework, teaching me actual SKILLs to work on the day to day. Feel changes in myself too! I’m excited for my future! That’s a first! Best of luck to you Keep reading this website, boggling the info on here and how much you relate to the articles! Time Blindness article is what sealed ADHD for me, they gave my self hating struggle a name… the words in the page sounded like I actually wrote it! I just figured I’m late cuz something makes me run late AND that I start too late to be on time! Part of that is correct! Haha

God bless good luck

[NYCmom2]

Definitely worth meeting with a specialist and exploring the possibility. You didn’t mention brain fog as a symptom but your user name implies it. That’s another ADHD symptom.

[BrainFogging in reply to NYCmom2]

Yes, I forgot to mention that. I have never been able to get to grips with what I want to do in life. I have tended to just go with whatever anyone else suggests. It feels like a fog over me my whole life.

[PinkPanda23]

It sounds familiar enough that I would pursue a professional evaluation and diagnosis. And we're here for you either way! 🙂

[2Tuxboy4]

You have ADHD. Try to find a good Dr. who can help you with the treatment. Good luck to you !

[Hominid711]

That's one great wife! With considering ADHD she is looking for "the fault" in a condition, not your character as many spouses would feel tempted to do. 👏

[BrainFogging in reply to Hominid711]

it’s not been an easy 35 years for either of us. We think she is an HSP (highly sensitive person). So you can imagine the difficulties we have had.

[writer35 in reply to BrainFogging]

I think many ADHDers are also HSP & that they are both forms of neurodivergence. There's a lot of sensory stuff involved in both profiles. Glad y'all are figuring it out!

[HaroldandMaude07 in reply to Hominid711]

Great observation!

[DragonJeep]

This self-assessement questionnaire might be a good place to start. For an official ADHD diagnosis, the symptoms will need to have been present in childhood and continue into adulthood. Bringing this completed assessment to your doctor would show them that you meet the official criteria according to the DSM and get the ball rolling for treatment. Good luck!

add.org/adhd-questionnaire/

[BrainFogging in reply to DragonJeep]

Thanks.

[NorKoln]

I'd say get evaluated... you have all the signs for it.

[HaroldandMaude07]

Yes! The hyperactivity part is what people usually think of when they hear ADHD, but as I am finding out bit by bit it is much more complex and can be very subtle. Girls and women tend to present a bit differently than males, and so fly under The wire for quite some time. I am female and can relate to most of what you report and I was just diagnosed. There are some frequent comorbid conditions such as depression that can come along with ADHD, and again that can be subtle or overt. The more you learn about it, you realize you've been finding ways to compensate and did not even know why!

It is worth exploring, for sure. Now that I have that formal diagnosis, after being suspicious for about 2 years, there are so many snapshot memories even going back to a young child that I did not realize can be part of the ADHD experience.