I have no executive functioning skills, and tons of anxiety. I dont know how to make headway in life without being medicated. I barely was able to pull off a 2 person get together yesterday because of all the unmanaged, un prioritizable information in my head. Yes I understand logic, yes i understand linear thinking, yes Ive been to therapy, and I dont really have strategies besides "live a healthy life". I meditate, but admittedly, thats not always helping me plan my schedule and stick to it. I guess I feel like my brain is working against me, and I cant jut put two and two together easily. My life is a constant story of one step forward, two steps back. Dont believe in victimhood, its just true.
I have other issues I have been to therapy for and continue to, when therapy is available to me. I hate feeling like I am working against myself and I'm so tired of not being able to see 5 feet in front of my face at an age where I need to plan for 5 10 15 years into the future. I dont know what I'm supposed to do besides operate under this unhelpful brain framework. sometimes its great! 70 percent of the time, its completely counterproductive and frustrating.
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IvanBlue
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I was diagnosed with ADHD last August I'm 64 years old and have been taking Adderral XR. I tried 3 other medications, but Adderral XR really works for me. I am also taking busperone. My MD has worked very close with me and that is the support that anyone needing medication has to have. He reccomended seeing a therapist which helped me clear my mind of course with the help of of the Adderall XR and Busperone. I'm not saying medication is for everyone but I've come a long way since August, I am no longer confused, undecisive and quick to get upset. Finding the right MD will work miracles in your life, with the right medication. Good Luck in your journey, but please never give up on your peace of mind! You owe that to yourself. Oh yes, I only saw my therapist for about 4 months when he told me, YOU GOT THIS!
I contacted my therapists office and they recommended my a psychiatrist that will likely prescribe both of these medications. I have been on Buproprion, adderall Xr and concerta at different points in time. The practitioner gave me some food for thought that ADD is sometimes misdiagnosed and the symptoms can actually be similar to trauma/PTSD response. After learning about trauma and dealing with my own, I can see how this similarity could be suggested. Its based on the hypervigilant state of your brain and how you process information. Merely noticing and "attacking" the stimuli in the environment by recognizing it right away, then reverting back to scanning the environment for stimuli again... yes that to me sounds alot like ADD. I think both tie into our brain response, both are based on our brain relying on the amygdala and fear identifying components of our brain.
She brought the suggestion up because people who have taken ADD centric medications usually dont find them effective if they are operating from trauma vs just having ADD. Food for thought. And thanks for your well wishes and kind words!
same - you tell my story TODAY. I can't seem to stick with my goal of maintaining my finances. I've been observing the urge to take a lower paying job bc I LIKE the job.
Hey IvanBlue, sending you solidarity. I'm not sure if you wanted more of a listening ear or help/advice but since you asked specifically about how people function without meds, I will share some of my experience in hopes something resonates.
I manage without ADHD meds in part because I've had a history of serious side effects with other medications. The psychiatrist that I spoke with told me that I can manage with other tools and supports, it might be the better route unless I felt like things (work, relationships) were spiraling out of control. [For ME this made sense but I also acknowledge that systemically, many providers push back on ADHDers in ways that are unhelpful or imply that we don't know our own lives & bodies. So a doc like @Chefgmony2 mentions is so good to hear about!] I decided I'd give it a couple of months & revisit ADHD meds if I wanted to.
Like you, I have therapy to help me and I also use a few different apps to track my emotional state and work through the intrusive thoughts that can pop up. I learned to build my personal toolbox of things to interrupt the patterns that most impact me. The rejection sensitivity is STRONG so I have a few different practices for when I get that flooded feeling of "oh you just made a fool of yourself in front of them". Things like physically leaving the room I'm in to go outside, go to the store, or just go into another room in the house that is pretty and calming, with colors and scents and things that are pleasurable. And moving my body, no matter what that looks like - even 2-3 mins of dancing in another room can work as well as going to the gym for 30 minutes. My therapist helped me understand that emotions can get stuck when we try to suppress them and moving our bodies can be much more effective than trying to resist them or argue with our minds. CBT therapy helps me challenge unhelpful thoughts but really the trauma-informed therapy techniques have changed my life because I am so much less likely to go into fight-flight-freeze-fawn mode, so I am able to notice when I'm triggered and put one of those things above into action.
And I still get that overwhelm that you mentioned - with the 2 person get-together above! Yesterday I had an awesome brain day EXCEPT for when someone changed the plan for the evening at the last minute and I felt like I had to coordinate and respond to them and the 2 other people we were meeting up with, and I had incoming texts and calls on top of it and I was so flustered and upset because it felt like my brain was shutting down. I couldn't think through basic things, like you describe; there was no way to make the storm settled into identifiable parts that I could organize into options for decisions. It was just like "fahhhhhhk I don't know what to do ahhhhhh stop stop stop" and I got dysregulated and it sucked. Eventually we figured it out and it took me an hour to self-regulate. I went outside and sat quietly without my phone and looked at the trees and then I used one of my apps to journal about my emotions, and eventually it passed and I was able to go back to my spouse and take a call from a friend without getting completely drained. But sometimes I just accept that my brain is not cooperating today and I just work on having light expectations for myself and being really gentle and getting good sleep so that I can show up again tomorrow. And, I haven't ruled out meds for me, either, I know that something could change in my life and my other strategies might not continue to work as well.
I also find it really helpful to work with a coach about the long-term stuff you mentioned, and I don't mean an ADHD coach necessarily but someone trained in coaching methods who can help you figure out what you actually do want to do and map out the tiny steps of progress. So many of us feel like if we don't have a whole plan with big steps than we are failing. It's not like that! The tiny steps totally count and it's practice and repetition of small things that will support longer term change, and it all accumulates.
You are doing this thing, even when systems aren't built to support you, so remember that it is not your BRAIN that is one step forward, two steps back but the systems that aren't built for us and a culture that isn't tolerant of overwhelm/confusion because having no needs is more convenient for others. I say that because it's easy to internalize that shame and extra suffering. And you are not alone! Let us know how you're doing.
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate what you have said and relate to so much of it. I have reached out to a therapists office for access to a psychiatrist for medication. My therapist took a leave of absence 3 weeks ago and so I have to determine a new game plan. Usually how i regulate my emotions is through eating, or diving head first in to work, but both of these things are reckless regarding consequence. So I am hoping I can plan my weeks and stick to a simple plan and focus on achieving SMART goals. Otherwise i will look for instant gratification and get myself further and further from where I want to be. My brain wants to sabotage me, but I wont let it, I am committed to looking forward to the future and taking on goals piecemeal, one day at a time.
Hah, without meds … psssh it’s almost impossible to do anything with no motivation. People will be like “oh just start doing it, do a little bit at a time, reward yourself” etc. Well getting out of bed, getting started, connecting the boring dots to even THINK about getting started, ughhh it’s like pulling teeth. However maybe I’m the only one …
But ya, I’d say exercise for sure, self discipline, goals, rewards, SUGAR, caffeine, trial & error, focus factor pills, vitamins and determination.
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