End of my therapy
Dear friends,
I am having currently a rough time and wanted to share my experience and ask for support. M(31) and english is not my main language so sorry for possible mistakes.
My whole life has been filled with chaos, depression, bad choices etc…I went to several mental institutions without any success ever. In 2021 I started doing sessions with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD. The diagnosis changed my life and medication as well, currently on Concerta 36 mg.
Together with meds I have been having therapy for the last 2 years and it has really helped me like crazy together with medication. For me 2022 was the year where I started seeing hope in life. Changes were:
- Suicidal thoughts: gone
- Depression: mostly gone
- Improved speech
- Self confidence
-Less interrupting people, more listening
- More optimistic
- From losing jobs to staying in the same and earning a promotion
- Fitter (hitting gym with discipline)
And so on..
My life has been turned around.
The thing is, I am not there fully yet. I still get very depressed every 2 months or so. I cant leave bed I think i am failure and wouldnt care dying. I hit low bottom and again I work my way up.
Right now i am in the middle of one of those terrible lows.
The issue is because my psychiatrist has seen my evolution: from almost suicide case to succesful and happy, proposed me to release me from therapy. I was very surprised and not happy about this and expressed my opinion. However it was more of an unilateral decision and “this is what it is” type of thing.
Therapy was key for me. Knowing i had the next appointment gave me a lot of peace of mind and I felt I had someone to rely on. This has affected me a lot and I hit bottom. The only thing I am getting is a check in 2 months just to see progress but officially I am out of therapy.
Its also due to the country I live in , healthcare is quite special and they kick me out cause state does not want to pay long for these issues.
I dont know what the hell to do. I am feelings super shitty depressed and even delusional but now my therapy is over. Im scared of what is next.
Any similar cases or advice?
Much appreciated, friends
TLDR: my adhd therapy ended without me feeling like i wanted to end it. My progress from last years has caused this but im not fully recovered