I am having currently a rough time and wanted to share my experience and ask for support. M(31) and english is not my main language so sorry for possible mistakes.
My whole life has been filled with chaos, depression, bad choices etc…I went to several mental institutions without any success ever. In 2021 I started doing sessions with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD. The diagnosis changed my life and medication as well, currently on Concerta 36 mg.
Together with meds I have been having therapy for the last 2 years and it has really helped me like crazy together with medication. For me 2022 was the year where I started seeing hope in life. Changes were:
- Suicidal thoughts: gone
- Depression: mostly gone
- Improved speech
- Self confidence
-Less interrupting people, more listening
- More optimistic
- From losing jobs to staying in the same and earning a promotion
- Fitter (hitting gym with discipline)
And so on..
My life has been turned around.
The thing is, I am not there fully yet. I still get very depressed every 2 months or so. I cant leave bed I think i am failure and wouldnt care dying. I hit low bottom and again I work my way up.
Right now i am in the middle of one of those terrible lows.
The issue is because my psychiatrist has seen my evolution: from almost suicide case to succesful and happy, proposed me to release me from therapy. I was very surprised and not happy about this and expressed my opinion. However it was more of an unilateral decision and “this is what it is” type of thing.
Therapy was key for me. Knowing i had the next appointment gave me a lot of peace of mind and I felt I had someone to rely on. This has affected me a lot and I hit bottom. The only thing I am getting is a check in 2 months just to see progress but officially I am out of therapy.
Its also due to the country I live in , healthcare is quite special and they kick me out cause state does not want to pay long for these issues.
I dont know what the hell to do. I am feelings super shitty depressed and even delusional but now my therapy is over. Im scared of what is next.
Any similar cases or advice?
Much appreciated, friends
TLDR: my adhd therapy ended without me feeling like i wanted to end it. My progress from last years has caused this but im not fully recovered
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Imasa
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Wow, you've done a lot of work to get where you are, and it's not easy.I don't know where you live nor the healthcare rules there, so my advice may or may not work for you, but this is what I'd try:
--Go back to your psychiatrist and have another discussion on how you're feeling and you need. Since he "took" you off therapy, I am guessing he can get you back on. If they say "no" put them on the spot for a recommendation.
--In the US some therapist have sliding scales and will charge you less if you cannot afford to pay full rate.
--Also check out the virtual online therapy options
It might take time and effort, but I'm hoping you can find a solution. Good luck.
Yes…it’s an epidemic! The health care system is doing it wrong and they know it! Best and only advice…trust your gut and never give up on yourself! God bless! 🙏🏼❤️🩹🙌🏼
Congrats on finding a big piece to your puzzle, and coming out of the ‘Fog’.
You obviously enjoy and need therapy. You’ve got, how many years of ‘Bad Programming’ is n your head from having undiagnosed ADHD?
Those ‘Old Haunts’ that you’re experiencing, well, I’ve got them also and they still get ahold of me at times. When you talk about not wanting/able to get out of bed, for me, part of it is the FEAR/DREAD of going back to the way I was before my ADHD diagnosis and the Hell I lived in. Who would want to go back to that.
Can your Dr connect you with another Mental Health Pro, as in a regular Therapist? (I’m not sure how to phrase these. In America, there Social Workers, LCSW, and other titles. And they cost less than a psychiatrist). The other part is you’ve found someone to talk to that’s truly helping you-that you ‘click’ with.
Is Mental Health care better in America……? We’ve got a long way to go here as well.
Check into what was mentioned in other replies. I hope your journey continues on a positive path.
I'm not sure what your budget is like. I use a therapist via an online platform called faithfulcounseling.com. They are very affordable in comparison to standard rates here in the US. I think they even offer discounts if one falls below a certain income amount. Another option is betterhelp.com. I am not as familiar with there rates, but know they are available internationally.
most ethical therapist will agree that 2 years of 1:1 is alot. maybe excessive. i know thats hard to hear bc you regard your therapy as the reason for all your improvement vs your own ability to “ do” life more effective. give yourself the credit.
therapy can be helpful but the goal of therapy is never for the client to rely on the therapist as a BFF( best friend forever). a huge part of ethical therapy is to work on replacing the therapist role with our peers n newly developed support systems that we can now attract n maintain in a healthy manner.
if you view this from narrative that your therapist “ cut you off” then your rejection n old negative stuff is gonna kick ur butt again.
your therapist is saying, “lets meet every 60 days to check in” not “ ur done”. at your 60 day check ins, its your opportunity to tell the therapist what is going well n what blind spots you need to sort out n the therapist can cheerlead a bit n remind u if the skills u have learned in last 2 years n maybe revisit coping skills. thats the scope of therapy.
we do not need to continuously tell every details of our back story in therapy. its the patterns n themes that matter in effective therapy- regurgitating the whole back story for literally years is not what helped you achieve that long beautiful list of all the ways YOU have improved your life.
you still have your bike, your therapist just took of the training wheels n you havent adusted yet cuz your scared❤️ you got this!
yes as a social worker, certified drug n alcohol counselor, etc, etc. im very familiar with the term unhealed healer, etc etc….. but i still have zero idea what question you are asking me. and also no idea what the concept of wounded/ unhealed healer has to do with the post i responded to.
and in your response to the post below. yes, everyone i know in the field is familiar with Maté’s work. again, what does this have to do with the initial post or my response to it???
this is getting confusing, time consuming, and frankly non productive my friend. if you have a question then please use one sentence( that is what the slang “straight forward” means) and put a question mark behind it. i gladly share my personal perspective with you and the group if i think it might add any value to you or others❤️
As others have said, Imasa you've done hard work and made progress. It is common for a therapist to move sessions to regular check-ins after a few years. The idea is see how well you continue to do with the new skills you have developed. It can be unsettling at that point, I agree. I'm glad the therapist would like to have 60 day check-ins. During those check-ins you can discuss if they should be more frequent or if that continues to be a good spacing. The 60 day calendar is not necessarily permanent, and beginning (or continuing) a journal or notebook on how you are doing to bring to those sessions can help with the decision on how far apart to space the check-ins.
The responses to Imasa's original post are going off topic. I encourage everyone to return to the actually topic and only comment if you have something helpful to suggest. Kindness is always paramount and I remind you all to be kind. While not directly against standards, I am seeing responses that are unkind and not helpful related to the original post. If you need to discuss unrelated ideas, please take it to direct messages -- or drop the discussion entirely.
Please return to the original topic or skip this post as one to respond to.
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