How do you approach managing your ADHD?

[Old_Owl]

After being diagnosed a little over two months ago, and trying to figure out how to manage it, I've come up with how I'm approaching this and am curious how others have approached this? Maybe what's worked for you and what hasn't. I know we're all different so there's no "one size fits all" approach, but still curious.For me (and for right now) I've got four things I'm doing to manage my ADHD:

1. Taking my meds- Vyvanse. First stop on being diagnosed was going to the research. My brains different than the non-ADHD brain, might be a bit smaller, deficit on neurotransmitters like Dopamine, and other stuff I'm still coming up to speed on. For me, my meds are not the silver bullet, it just addressing my neurotransmitter deficit.

2. Therapy. I got to my diagnosis while dealing with severe depression. I'm good from the depression standpoint, but still have work to do. Knowing I have ADHD provides me a new perspective on all that is me.

3. Skills. I'm rethinking how I do things knowing I have ADHD. I'm 58 so I have had the skills to get me to where I am now. But it's not been the best ride, kind of like taking a 500 mile road trip over a dirt road, and you've got a bad suspension- you get there, but you're pretty sore at the end. Most of my life I thought I wasn't trying hard enough so I pushed more, tried harder. Now I'm working with a wonderful coach to figure out how to do things in a different way.

4. Mindfulness. I'm trying to be more aware of my thoughts and my emotions, and just be in the moment. I meditate 15 minutes a day five days a week. I also feel like meditation is like a little focus workout.

Anyway, that what I'm doing, how about you?

[Aash12]

I've been diagnosed for over 2 years but just recently started medication. So, I'm still seeing how things might change, Before this, I had many ways to manage my adhd.

TLDR:

1. Accomodating my needs

2. Using services that make it easier for me to complete tasks

3. If doing one thing, carrying that momentum into doing other task as well

4. Doing things incompletely is better than not doing it at all

5. Trying different type of meditation

6. Being kind to yourself

First, I would let myself accommodate my needs. Sadly, we live in a world made mostly for people who don't have ADHD.

To overcome that, I give myself enough time to manage things that would've taken less time for someone else. It's like a safety net while doing chores so that I can finish things even if I got distracted in between.

I don't make solid to-do lists. I do roughly outline the day's tasks but don't force myself to do all of those tasks.

Coming to terms with the fact that sometimes you might not be able to do everything you planned is a big step. Being kind to yourself and not beating yourself up for failed tasks is the best way to go about it.

Another accommodation I give myself is to get premade things.

I live alone and cook for myself. I often used to forget I had a certain vegetable or fruit to eat and it would rot away.

So, I now buy pre cut vegetables and fruits.

You might think that it's more expensive but you're actually saving money by using up whatever you buy and not letting it go to waste. Same with juice. Smaller packs are easier to consume than bigger bottles which I might drink from once and then forget about it till it is already expired for weeks.

Forgetting to eat on time has also been a big struggle for me. So, now I keep things that I can eat on the go for when I'm late or forgot to eat. Cereal bars, protein bars, a pack of biscuits always stays in my bag.

When my executive dysfunction is in full force and I can't cook, I have takeout. I don't force myself to cook or make myself feel bad for not cooking.

We all know that us ADHD people don't start tasks or if we do, we leave them incomplete.

For this, momentum is very important. For example, if I did laundry, I would fold it right away, otherwise it will stay on a chair or my bed unfolded for days, sometimes even weeks.

We know the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes sitting there for days, only cleaning one dish we need for the time and putting it back in sink again.

If I cook, I wash dishes right after I'm done eating. Even if it's just a single plate. This has really helped me deal with dirty dishes.

Cleanliness is another huge thing. Making routines and sticking to them is tough.

I brush my teeth whenever I remember about it. Sometimes even just using mouthwash is better than nothing at all.

I can't sit through classic meditation no matter how hard I try.

So, I do it differently.

I turn off any lights in my room, block any external stimuli except for songs that make ne feel happy. Lay in bed or floor, close my eyes and relax all my muscles. This helps me calm my mind a bit. I do this right before going to bed which helps my sleep problems as well.

These are the few things I do to manage my ADHD. Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

[Old_Owl in reply to Aash12]

Thank you for sharing. I definitely relate to many of the struggles. I admire your underlying approach of you accommodating yourself through kind acceptance. (something I'm working on, but got a long way to go yet).

I also love your approach of outing you day rather than a fixed plan.

Again, I appreciate you sharing.

[KarlaJo]

My management strategies have been different based on stages in my life. I did well with the ADHD symptoms (executive function deficits) when my hormones were balanced, I had a structure in place 7 days per week due to child rearing. I was on medication for ADHD and was able to hire a home organizer for areas that I had no clue how to declutter (and then) organize.

Once my kids moved out, my estrogen was waning. My days were no longer structured. The executive function weaknesses increased. Lots of brain fog, procrastination, emotional disregulation, and feeling stuck. For 4 years I confided in my Mom and daughter that I felt cognitive decline. I could not keep certain areas organized and failed to put items away. My daughter was taking classes at University and learning about ADHD. She shared insight from the mental /behavioral health field on people feeling stuck and on older people thinking they had cognitive decline. Ding, ding, ding…ADHD!

I began seeing a therapist, continued on ADHD meds, and joined CHADD. I’ve also had my hormones tested to see where my estrogen level is.

I am now learning how that it’s important to keep a structure in my days, to sprinkle rewards (breaks) throughout the day when I’m doing non preferred tasks, and to recognize that my feelings of rejection are part of rejection sensitivity.

As I understand more about ADHD, I realize that I sometimes cope with it better than other times. Mindfulness helps when my thoughts are racing.

I continue to see a therapist to help me with areas where I feel stuck. Breaking my big work items into smaller steps.

[Old_Owl in reply to KarlaJo]

Thank you for sharing. Seems like a number of us hit some kind of wall around 50.

[Hidden in reply to KarlaJo]

KarlaJo thank you for sharing your story. I can’t believe that there are people out there going through this. I’ve been told so many hurtful, demoralizing and degrading things. I.e something is mentally wrong with you, how could someone be and not think or learn, you have issues, you’re not normal, I’ve never seen this in anyone I know, you’re an idiot, selfish idiot, you don’t learn anything , you refuse to learn, and the list goes on. I’ve heard this from people I have hurt deeply , that I have let down and made promises to that I didn’t keep but they gave and still give me chances. Sometimes I just ….I don’t even know…the thoughts in my head they get ugly and dark. I find it hard to love myself when I can’t even get out of bed in time to be ready for my kid. What kind of human does that? Is my husband and child not that important to me? Sometimes I like I have no feelings I feel numb .

[Hidden]

Old_Owl how did you figure out where to start from? How to create a baseline.

[Old_Owl in reply to Hidden]

It's been a process that's taken a few years, prior to my ADHD diagnosis. I started with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I've suffered from depression for a long time and a few years ago it got really bad- really dark times. It wasn't fast- it took a while with progress and set backs. As I progressed in therapy, I realized it was important for me to understand my feelings and emotions to work through my issues so I began including Mindfulness.

After all of this work, and it was work on my side, I was out of the darkness and stable but still felt stuck- I had no motivation and it was still having problems focusing and getting stuff done at work. (And my relationship with my wife still wasn't where it needed to be.)

At one point, I mentioned to my therapist I had been diagnosed with Hyperactivity when I was 5 and placed on Ritalin for a short time. My mom took me off as I was falling asleep. He recommended I be evaluated for ADHD. I thought "sure why not." I didn't know much about ADHD even though I knew I had been diagnosed at 5. Didn't know anything other than the hyper part. After being diagnosed, I dove into the research (really started going deep into the research, and started with medication (I am a lucky one who saw immediate results without big side effects).

My research also pointed out that I part of my problem was trying to get things done by "just trying harder" (goes back to me always thinking I was lazy and didn't try enough). It wasn't trying harder, but learning how to do things differently- in a way were I wasn't fighting my brain. This brought my ADHD coach into play- I am lucky I'm in a position to hire a coach they are not cheap.

I don't have a baseline other than asking myself "is this helping?" and "am I feeling better, are things seeming easier?" and "am I able to get the things I need to get done, done." And then I go from there. As an example I got to the point were I didn't know if therapy was working - I didn't feel like I was progressing. This lead me to explore things such as radical self-acceptance (I was coming from a place of self loathing) and it also lead to my ADHD diagnosis. Again, I have decided to make my mental health a priority to me, so I try to take time every now and then to self reflect on what's working and what isn't- so what I am doing to manage my ADHD today, might not be what I am doing tomorrow.

Sorry if this is long winded (going on and on is definitely part of my ADHD 😀) Thank you for asking and I hope this answers your question.

I wish you well figuring out your own journey, the key is to keep trying even when you don't think it's making a difference- change happens over time, not all at once.