Help!: Hey community, so im really... - ADHD Parents Toge...

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Help!

Hey community, so im really stuck on what my next move is with my son who is 6. I also have a 3 year old daughter.

My son currently is diagnosed with disruptive mood disregulation disorder, ADHD and depressive disorder. He is on kapvay, clonidine, intuniv and strattera. He has a serious sensitivity to stimulants so they are not an option. He is extremely impulsive and aggressive when he doesnt get his way. He is very large and strong for his age. He hit kicks punches break things. He has cut my arm in my sleep, given his sister black eyes, bloody noses, fat lips and bumps on her head. He goes to therapy and ot. We have tried someone who comes in the home. Ive reached out to cps for help. I just do t know how much more i can take. Im a single mom in a rural area. I dont know why he is so angry. He aslo has crying fits and needs meds to sleep. Is overly sexual for his age. I am lost!

I knew something was off as early as when he was a year and a half. I feel like ive exhausted my options and just want to give up. Now he talks about killing himself when hes in trouble ans im not sure if its honest or a manipulative move. He is constantly swearing f**** you! I dont allow video games or anything non age appropriate on tv. Im ready to give up. Any advice, guidance and positivity is greatly appreciated.

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Maybe adjustments to his medication would help? What type of therapy is he getting? Also, just curious, is he adopted or a foster child. My adopted boys have some of this but on a much much lower scale. That sounds like a nightmare. Prayers for you, seriously. Is there a man in the house or a father figure in his life?

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I first want to give you a very big hug!! Sorry being a parent is such a challanging job and you are really trying hard.

It sounds like he is seeing a psychiatrist? Do they really understand how challanging he is? You could ask about any in patient programs to help get him more stable with medications that work.

I am of course looking in from the outside, but it doesn't seem like the medication is doing much? Or is strong enough? I know with ADHD medication it can only work on %60 of the issues and other interventions nees to help.

For your son, it seems like OT should be in home helping you with strategies or he should go to someone a lot more for service. What were the OT's recommendations? I am not an OT, but do headphones help with noise reduction? What about a compression vest.

What does he like? Maybe using the things he likes to help change his behavior.

Just know we are here for you and can listen when you need us. Do you have any friends you can have coffee with?

Please try to take care of yourself.

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I empathize with you and I’m sorry you guys are going through this. My recommendations are first to look into broad spectrum micronutrients. There are two companies...Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope. Before our success on micronutrients I was also looking into a possible PANS/PANDAS diagnosis. Stay strong!

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Wow - I’m sorry to hear about this!

I am a little confused over his medications, as Kapvay is a name brand of clonidine - so he is on two forms of clonidine, as well as guanfacine (which is very similar)? Have you started all the medications at once, or one at a time? How long has he been on them?

I know Strattera can make some kids particularly foul. My son became very angry & surly and started hating everything and arguing with his teacher (which is not like him.) We gave it six weeks, then took him off it.

If you aren’t seeing a child psychiatrist for medication, I would look in to one for potential medication adjustments. Also any parent training for you would be highly advised, as certain parenting techniques and styles can help these behaviors more than others.

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I would definitely give him an opportunity to earn rewards for good behaviors. My son originally had hate signs, but I realized it is pain and fear that caused his behavior issues. Also, I believe he is on too many meds. Did you get Genomics testing for him to see which medications will work best based on his genetic. I would also suggest you having someone professional that you can talk to. My suggestions are based on my son who is 11 and diagnosed at age 2.

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My son has ADHD diagnosed at age 5 & later developed pretty bad oppositional defiance disorder. He was getting more & more aggressive & no traditional parenting tactics seemed to work. He showed many of the same behaviors you described. He was heading toward conduct disorder by age 9. We tried lots of different med combos. Our best success has been 10 mg Focalin in early morning, then 15 mg extended release at 9:30 to get him through day. He also gets Straterra at 4pm to help with executive function. The stimulant unfortunately is critical for us. Without it, he slips into the old behaviors. However, we find he crashes when it wears off. That said, we believe the opposition behaviors are rooted in anxiety. Misalignment between my wife & I caused arguments & inconsistency that we believe trigger his worst behavior. Further, when we responded to his behavior with anger or aggression, it only escalated the situation. So we created this cycle of constant conflict in the home. With turmoil like ours, I believe his coping was to try to take control of the home. We had to reestablish that my wife & I were a team, but most importantly, we were in charge, not him. This was NOT through power struggle, but rather, presented CALMLY as a fact with new house rules, consequences for behavior, consistent enforcement of rules. To get this right, we took a special course on parenting ODD kids. VERY important for us to become the ‘therapist‘.

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I have a grandson who has the same anger issues, Broke my big screen TV years ago. I agree some of your medication seem like duplicates which may be causing problems. We also couldn't do stimulants, He has been on risperidone for years, keeps things in my house from getting broken but still has angry moments. We are also seeing a behavioral therapist. She is teaching him methods to get his anger under control.

Also looking into the micro nutrients because anything is worth a try.

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I was wrong its invaga not intuniv.

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Hello, I know it is difficult to raise a special needs child and a younger child as a single mom. I understand your frustration. I cannot imagine what you must be going through each day.

My son was also on Strattera which caused aggressiveness, moodiness and suicidal comments when he thing would not go his way. He is no longer on the medication but home life is tiring for me. I feel like I am suffocating sometimes, until he is away from home.

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I have 2 boys that way. Sorry u sound like me at one point. I even called the cops on my boys. They wasn’t scared. Tell one day I said enough and went to the hospital and had movies of my son and his fits. He was put in a mental hospital for 4 days and they ran all kinds of tests and they changed his medicine and I didn’t go see him when he was there but he hasn’t been back to the hospital. He still has his bad days. But im all they have. No no one will every fight for them like I have. Hang in there. Do you have like a mental health center where u r? And one more thing we only talk about the good things. My sons have problems talking and nt acting so it’s been hard very hard. But if I can do it anyone can.

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Thanks! We went yesterday. No beds for 6 year olds. Thanks for sharing.

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I can really relate to the emotion you conveyed in you reply! Frustration!

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