My 10-year-old son has ADHD, ODD and several learning disabilities, including dyslexia, which has made school a struggle for him. (I believe his self-esteem is an issue as well.) He is currently having problems with two other friends in his classroom. Two of the kids will often get together and gang up on the third. My son has been one of the kids who has often said really hurtful things to another child. I’ve continually talked to my son about the behavior we expect from him and that he is hurting others' feelings. My son is generally a very caring/loving person, (at home, at least), so I don't know why he lashes out like this at school. I don't think my son is being bullied or bothered by the other student, so this is perplexing! My son has also lost other friends this school year because of mean things he has said or done to other kids, who were generally good friends to him.
I don’t know how to get through to him to help him realize his actions are really hurting others. I am hoping this community will have ideas. He receives punishment for the bad behaviors (I take away electronics, he cleans up dog poop in the back yard, community service, etc.). He takes the punishments in stride. He is on adhd medication and sees a counselor. We work with the teachers about this (although the classroom teacher has continually failed to keep the three separated.) Nothing is getting through to him – I'm feeling desperate at this point!