Moving advice, help!

[Cjlyn]

I need some advice.. my boyfriend and I have been living together for two years now. Bought a house together in the town I live in with my ex husband and son. My boyfriend Moved to us so that I didn’t have to change my sons school. However now he wants to move back closer to his home town where family, friends and work is closer. He also doesn’t like living in the same town as my ex husband who isn’t the easiest to deal with. I have extreme mix emotions about this. Do I move because I see a future and a positive change for us but will my son who already struggles with change and emotions will this turn him upside down? I am so scared of making the wrong choice in regards to my son. If it was just me I would move but it’s not and my son comes first. He is in 4th grade age 10. If I don’t move my son and I will have the get an apartment because that’s all I would be able to afford. No yard, pool or neighbor like we have now but I am so afraid of taking him away from what he knows and the little friends that he does have. Please any advice, feedback would love to hear! Has anyone gone through this?

[seller]

First of all, you don't say if your ex would agree to your move....sometimes parents need their ex-spouse permission to leave the area. How would this affect your son's time with his dad? Do you like your son's current school? It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is very realistic about being part of a blended family. As you know, once you have a child with someone, you will always have a tie to that person. There will be years of birthdays, graduations, etc that will include both you and your ex. It's in the best interest of your son that all of you try very hard to at least get along. I have to say that in my opinion, your son comes first, especially since he has some challenges. I would not stay with someone for the sake of a yard and pool, although I know that having a house is usually better than an apartment. Would you be able to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend? How about a few therapy sessions?

[Cjlyn in reply to seller]

To give a little background my ex husband has caused a lot of senate including an assault and Battery on my boyfriend and a felony. My ex has a temper and he had been drinking and it was just a bad sad situation. There for I completely understand why he wants to move. He’s not a fighter by any means and he wants away. However I am so nervous to move my son. There is no issues on me moving in regards to my agreement and my sons schedule with his father doesn’t need to change. I am struggling with letting my boyfriend go because I love him but at the same time I don’t want to move my son.

[seller in reply to Cjlyn]

Try and get your boyfriend to understand that you and your son are a package deal and that moving away could be a real set-back to your son. However, can you possibly do some research on schools in the other area? Can you visit or speak with the teachers or counselors? Check them out on-line for reviews or comments. You might be pleasantly surprised if they are good.

[Cjlyn in reply to seller]

Thanks that’s a great idea

[anirush]

I am glad you are putting your son and what he needs first. I don't know how well he adjusts to new situations. My one grandson kind of goes with the flow. My other one it would throw into a period of instability do something like that.

I hope your boyfriend will put your son first