Parent counseling : I’m thinking about... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

20,161 members5,647 posts

Parent counseling

Boymom3 profile image
17 Replies

I’m thinking about getting counseling for myself. Anyone else do this? My oldest said this morning that he remembers when I used to be happy. I do all I can to control the chaos in my home with little success. I doubt my home will be peaceful until my 3 boys, all ADHD and 2 of them ODD, move out in 11 years. So I have to figure out how to find peace in my own mind in spite of what’s going on around me.

I think counseling may help, but I don’t know. Has it been helpful for anyone here?

17 Replies
SparklieOne00 profile image

You can only be helpful to them if you are taking care of yourself first. I highly recommend counseling. You can be happy too.

Our therapist talks with not only my son but also the rest of the family that shows up for the therapy sessions. Example..Yesterday.. she starts off reviewing how things are with my son n then me.Then she spoke to my daughter .. then my son. She finishes up with me by telling me what was accomplished in the session with my son. If I have things going on she will speak with me also because she does individual/couples/family therapy.

Im all for helping ourselves.. because without "MOM".. the house falls apart in all aspects.

Boymom3 profile image
Boymom3 in reply to

Do you see that it’s helping you?

in reply to Boymom3

Definitely... we cant do this alone. Im far from shy so I don't have a problem letting it all out. Way better than keeping it all in n trying to figure it out yourself n making urself more nuts about the situation. I think its always great to hear someone elses take/opinion on something, because most of the time u learn something new about the situation. Isnt that why we r all here?? Ive learned so much in the short time Ive been here.. just with a simple post n reading replies.

Bottom line is.. cant hurt to try some therapy.. if u don't like it .. don't go back. Also..make sure u really like ur therapist n u r a good match with them. Our last therapist was older/like a grandma n used to cuss at us n my son. Funny at first BUT.. we found a new therapist!!

KCsBM profile image

My husband & I have done counseling for a few years consistently. At first it was to work on our challenges as a couple, as individuals, and as parents - to learn how to better work together for our family and for our son who has ADHD combined presentation and ODD. Counseling was very helpful for us! We also got our son into play therapy with a child psychologist (whom he LOVES!). Most recently we were able to attend group therapy through our insurance. The group therapy was based on the program "Incredibles Years" (there's a book available online). We found the group setting very interesting, interactive, and helpful --- knowing we weren't the only ones going bonkers! (((Sigh))). Hang in there!

Azbee profile image

Yes! I highly recommend it. It has been a huge help to me. And it’s like exercise....when I dread going, but still do, I always feel so much better afterwards. Also, keep in mind that sometimes is take trying a few counselors or therapists before you find the right one. So don’t give up if you end up with a dud :)

Azbee profile image

In addition to counseling, I also highly recommend Susan Morely at

She has been a huge help and you do not have to live in Atlanta, she does phone, Skype, and emails.

She also offers smaller packages if price is a concern.

You’ll be amazed!

dmk24 profile image

My personal thoughts are that everyone should be in counseling. I have been going for years. I have gone both individually and with my sons at one time or another. When they are not going, it helps me to still figure how to handle things with them. It helps put things in perspective, helps with school 504s and ideas for those types of things. I cannot day enough about it. It also reminds me to give myself some grace and realize we are all doing the best we can. The key is finding someone that works for you. I could not just talk and be asked how I feel about it. I needed someone to help me and give me ideas and look at things differently than I did. It has helped me change my perspective in many ways. You might ask around first but also call your insurance. Many counselors do not take insurance but if your insurance covers out of network drs you should be able to get some back. Good luck and take care of yourself too!!

Chooser63 profile image

OMG....I have 12-year old twins with ADHD. My daughter earlier on was thought to potentially have ODD - she was never a picnic but now that teenage years are it, any ODD potential is rearing it's ugly head. (Loving her is like loving a sea urchin.) My son also has severe anxiety and can be easily provoked for meltdown because of her and/or the tension in the house. (My daughter is VERY stubborn and thinks she is 40. I think she has also been very jealous of the son my attention gets regardless of how much time and energy I have put into her health, activities, school performances, etc.!) I have been so stressed over the last 3 plus years that think I have an autoimmune thing going on as a a resounding YES. If it is an option, get therapy. 4 people in our family. 2 on meds (hopefully my daughter by next week), my hubby on Reflux, blood pressure, anxiety, soon cholesterol - he's been on and off and he is prediabetic and has his physical today! We are all in (different types of) therapy. (My daughter's therapist comes to the house so we do family as well.) I finally decided before the holidays because I have lost control of the house and feel like I will lose my mind on days. As the main caregiver and given the length of time you need to go, get help/peace, etc. however you can.. therapy, gym, meditation, etc. When this is all over, you'd like to have a life and be able to enjoy it!

Boymom3 profile image
Boymom3 in reply to Chooser63

Oh sister, thanks for this. I often feel isolated bc people don’t understand. I so dread the teen years! I have an appointment tomorrow, and I’m trying to be hopeful. Praying for you and your family ❤️

anirush profile image

I have been going to a personal counselor for years and sit in on my grandson's counciling sessions. Went to a counselor with my daughter when she was in her teens. It helps you get perspective on things and also someone to vent to.

outofmilk profile image

I think it's a great idea. In order to best help others, you have to take care of yourself. I have found so much help with counseling. I also recently switched my son's counselor to someone who specializes in ADHD for children and he said he prefers to meet more often with the parent instead of the child, especially when the child is younger. I hope you find ways of achieving more peace at home for yourself and your family. Good luck!

Blace profile image

Do it!!! My son does group therapy and then we do a family group session. It is really helpful. When you have other tools to understand the way their brains work it helps make life easier.

kcluanne profile image

Thank you for posting this, I could not relate more to it right now. I have a 6 year old with ADHD, a husband with ADHD and anxiety, and my 4 year old has some signs of ADHD but it is a bit too early to tell with her. I often feel that I am the only one holding it together for everyone and all the responsibilities fall on my shoulders,which is very stressful. I am very open to therapy, however with one child in therapy, tutoring and on medication, a husband who is just starting therapy for himself and will also need medication and my youngest kids pre-school tuition it is very hard to find the money for myself. This is particularly difficult as my husband isn't employed right now and is trying to start his own business. I feel like my life is chaos and I don't see an end in sight. I absolutely agree that taking care of yourself is extremely important but at this point, my husband and daughter need it more. I am trying to read books that are helpful, I do yoga and dabble in meditation but I hope to be able to get therapy for myself in the future.

My advice is to give therapy a try if you are able to. I get a feeling that perhaps you are also holding it all together in your house and that is a tough place to try to wait out until the kids are out of the house.

reg2018 profile image

I've gone to family therapy sessions for years with my three kids, but it's a whole other thing going to therapy for yourself. You get to have a space where you can just talk about you and what you're going through. It's about your needs.

Janice_H profile image

Hello Boymom3, Yes counseling will help you. It's great that you recognize the need for therapy. I think if we have someone to unload our concerns to, then we can become much better parents and better able to cope with our children.

I too feel as though I need to seek help because my home life is so chaotic, frazzled, frustrating and tiring. Most nights I am just a mess on the verge of a breakdown because of my 12 y.o. boy with ADHD. I'm single mom and work 2 jobs. This may sound wrong, but I have counted the years until I can break free of him, however I am sure once he is 18 there will be other problems.

Boymom3 profile image
Boymom3 in reply to Janice_H

I understand. I’m counting down the years as well. I can not imagine doing this as a single mother. I hope you have family and friends that support you and help you take breaks. Prayers for you and thanks for your reply❤️

You may also like...