Parent looking for help

[Barness74]

Hello, my son is 14yrs old was diagnosed with ADHD and Executive Function Disorder with underlying depression scores. We paid out of pocket for a professional evaluation by a psychologist with a battery of tests and interviews. This was about two years ago prior to COVID.

We did on and off counseling and choose to refrain from medication.

Things have quickly changed for the worse. His attitude has become defensive and hostile. Homework is a struggle and war. His addiction to electronics trumps his world that we have slowly cut back. We recently found out that he has been stealing money from one account to another to purchase a video application. When he gets frustrated or we take away items, he makes occasional round about statements about hurting himself.

We have a appointment this week for a new therapist and have called our pediatrician to discuss medication. I am also looking into a child psychiatrist which around our area is limited.

I am looking for others who have been down this path and any suggestions are helpful.

Thank you all for listening.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome to the group and thank-you for sharing your situation.Most children with ADHD need tools that help them be successful. These tools are thearpy, medication and an the educational plan.

It might help to have a conversation with him and ask what part of playing electronics he enjoys. Is this a game with peers? There is a large part of this that helps them feel successful and in real life often they don't.

I know it is hard to understand but knowing the why is important.

It sounds like impulse control is what is driving this need to play games.

I high recommend the psychiatrist for starting and managing medication

Just want to give you a big hug and know you are not alone in dealing with this.

We are always here for you.

Hope you can get him him soon.

[Hidden]

I’d say (from my own past experience as a teenager with ADHD, now late middle aged mum of one boy with ADHD and one without) no child wants to be this way, no child wants to behave badly and be a liar and a cheat, but if they are this way it’s their way of asking us adults for help. They don’t know why they are like that.

It’s the ADHD brain that is wired differently and has no impulse control and messed up delayed reward system etc. Every person with ADHD is different of course but the fact that your son can’t wait for the stuff and just ‘takes it’ by being so clever with those accounts, that’s just the ‘poor impulse control’, impulsiveness and compulsion to do the easiest route to get what he wants.

I’d say the sooner such child is helped with the right medication, the better.

I wish I had access to medication when I was a teenager!

Meds aren’t perfect and my son suffered terribly on stimulants but since we switched him to a non stimulant he’s manageable, his impulse control is better, he can focus better, nothing is perfect of course but he responds better to rewards systems, he stopped being oppositional all the time at home, he’s happier in himself, more resilient, less anxious about failure…

Everything improved for better in comparison how he was without any medication since he’s on a daily non stimulant ADHD medication.

Also, I’d say that a child will take in any therapy, psychology input better once they are already on medication. It just helps the brain to function, the frontal lobe in the brain in not properly developed in people with ADHD, but the right medication helps with the neurotransmitters and suddenly person can function just this little bit better- executive function can improve with the right medication, also the impulse control and all the other stuff that’s messed up for people with ADHD.

I hope you manage to guide your son and help him to live a fulfilled life with ADHD.

[LAJ12345]

have you tried dietary changes ie eliminating additives colours etc, and as much junk food as possible? Difficult for a teen I know but at 14 I’m guess you still hold the purse strings?

Also try Hardys daily essential nutrients. Sometimes a lack of some essential micronutrients can affect neurotransmitters.

hardynutritionals.com/studi...

[Momtrying]

medication has worked very well for my teen. He is on extended release Adderall in the morning with a short acting booster dose when he gets home from school. He is 14 but has been on it since he was 10. We started at 10 mg but over the years have increased to 30 in the morning and five in the afternoon. It will probably take some time finding the right one and the right dose, so be prepared that things can be a bit rough at first. But I would say don’t give up, medication can help them so much!! It gives them a chance to think clearly. Good luck!

[eva2022]

You have taken the right steps to get him help-you are doing everything you can to help your son! The pediatrician will help with next steps…I hope that they give you hope! A book that has been helpful for me is “Straight Talk About Psychiatric Medication for Kids.” It’s written by two psychiatrists and talks about the different neurodevelopmental disorders, the medication used to treat them, and the outcomes. It is very easy to read and informative…it helped me feel so much better about the process of medical help for my own son.

[executivefunksean]

Given your child is engaging in behaviors that he is surely not proud of, it will be important for him to be on a pathway of improved self-esteem. He needs opportunities to be successful and build resilience when he feels like avoiding homework or communicating his needs directly. If school is too much of a challenge, consider seeing if there is a change of placement or services that could help him make it feel more accessible.

[tstorm333]

My son is 10 years old and has ADHD and depression. He has been on Adderall for a few years which has really helped with his focus and behaviors at school. He has had self-hurt talk with increased depression this past year so he is now followed by a psychiatrist for medication mgmt. He started zoloft for anxiety/depression a few months ago and it has been a game changer thus far for his mental health. I recommend seeking child psychiatrist to help with medication management.