Need advice...

[HopeFloats75]

I have a son with ADHD. He also has problems with his behavior when it comes to responding & handling his emotions. I had him in therapy but so far no improvement. I’m currently looking for another therapist. Any ideas of helpful things to do at home to help him control his anger & outbursts?

[rollercoaster22]

I haven't found anything yet to help my son control his emotions. Therapy also didn't help us.. he loved his therapist... but he didn't change. Curious to see what other say.

[Hidden in reply to rollercoaster22]

I also have trouble helping my son control his anger. He is on Lamictal for his mood luckily he doesn't have too many meltdowns but when he does it is bad. He also sees a counselor which doesn't seem to help. I have told him to take deep breaths or punch a pillow but he never does these things it is so frustrating I feel for you

[outnumbered1 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, I can relate - I'm the mom of 2 kids with ADHD ages 13 and 11. Kids with ADHD almost always struggle with emotional regulation. It helped me a lot just to know that this is part of ADHD. It helps me not to blame my child and have more compassion. Therapy may help as they get older, but I saw the biggest and most dramatic improvement from two things: 1. the right medication and 2. my own learning and development as a parent as to how I respond. Dr. Ross Greene's website livesinthebalance.org is full of resources for parents and his book The Explosive Child was a huge life changer for our family as we learned better how to approach emotional dysregulation by collaborative problem solving rather than punishment.

Another resource I like - Dr. Laura Markham - Peaceful Parent, Happy Child - her big 3 concepts are : 1. regulate your own emotions and stay grounded and loving 2. Connect with your child, build rapport, keep your relationship healthy, and 3. um...I forget right now.

Finally, the book What to Do When Your Temper Flares amazon.com/What-When-Your-T... is awesome.

Good luck!

[HopeFloats75 in reply to outnumbered1]

Yea, I have a lot of work do on how I respond. Sometimes I just get so frustrated with his behavior. I will definitely take a look at that website. Thank you so much.

[DontKnowWhatElseToDO in reply to outnumbered1]

I have that book too..Tried it and didn't work either

[HopeFloats75 in reply to Hidden]

Meltdowns are too the norm here. Any and everything he doesn’t like gets a meltdown. My son punches his pillow & then some. He falls on the floor as if he’s a fish out of water, screams to the top of his lungs, throws things & hits himself. There’s gotta be something out there better then just seeing a counselor to give him the help he needs.

[HopeFloats75 in reply to rollercoaster22]

I’m going to have to have another talk with his doctor. Maybe he’ll suggest something else for me. This is getting out of control. And I’m mentally exhausted & so frustrated that nothing has helped him so far.

[DontKnowWhatElseToDO in reply to HopeFloats75]

I feel exactly the same way

[ScatteredMom]

Kids with ADHD tend to get angry faster than other kids, and feel their anger more intensely. Focusing 100% on control might not be the best thing at this point, since it just teaches them to bottle everything up. Can you teach them safe ways to express it?

[HopeFloats75 in reply to ScatteredMom]

So far with his therapist it’s been ideas of alternate ways to express his frustration or anger. So it’s not so much as controlling it. It seems the older he gets, the worse it gets. Everything he learns he refuses to practice. So I’m at a loss. I have no idea how to help him apply what he’s learned.

[ScatteredMom in reply to HopeFloats75]

Maybe he could benefit from something like martial arts, or another channel for his feelings. Remember, ADHD kids have a lot to be angry about.

[DontKnowWhatElseToDO]

Reading all the replies- it appears that we are all in the same boat. Between the medication (Therapy) and Counseling -- my son's behavior is not getting better. He's 9 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD FEW MONTHS AGO. He's on his third medicine and seems like a roller coaster with his behavior. Today, he started destroying his study furniture and scraping them. He can't seem to really control his emotion and my husband & I are just hopeless what else to do.