So, my daughter was just recently diagnosed by pediatrician as ADHD-Inattentive. I am working to gather my resources and figure out counseling and medication for her. The part that is throwing me for a loop is how I should engage her school on this? The initial suggestion to look into ADHD came from her teachers, but when I started getting the Vanderbilt Assessments, they pushed me towards the school guidance counselor, who has literally not interacted with me outside of collecting the forms and giving them back.
I feel like the guidance counselor should be the primary contact at the school for any ADHD-related concerns or changes going forward...is that generally a safe assumption? I guess I'm just nervous about contacting her and what kind of approach I should take. I'm not a demanding person, but I want them to help me figure out what help my daughter needs. Maybe the answer is that we need a psychiatrist and/or counseling consult first?
Just looking for any feedback, I'm still trying to stop our world from spinning to get a direction here...thanks in advance
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joehamilton
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As a former school counselor, I would tell you to not be intimidated to contact her and check in to see how things are progressing and also to find out if she is the appropriate person to work with on this moving forward (sometimes in US schools it's a school psychologist who coordinates and takes care of ADHD-related things like coordinating the assessment/evaluation forms and developing 504 accommodation plans and/or IEPs, not the school counselors.)
All school counselors tend to have huge caseloads and lots of things going on on a daily basis so a polite nudge/reminder is often a good idea (email is an acceptable way to do this).
What I did was get a private psychological evaluation from a psychologist that the pediatrician recommended. Took that report to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist is in the process of helping us find medicine that works best. Then I took the report to the school and met with the teacher and intervention specialist to start the process of getting a 504 plan.
Maybe request that the teacher set up a meeting with you, the teacher and counselor since the counselor isn't getting back to you. Definitely talk to the intervention specialist at the school, since this is a special need.
I would be persistent, but always courteous and express gratitude. You are your childs advocate, but you have to keep a good repour with the school in order to get your child needs met and the best help that you can. Hope that helps in some way.
"I'm still trying to stop our world from spinning to get a direction here." This is a great description. Unfortunately, it never really stops spinning, you just find ways to get it to spin more slowly so you can get your footing!!
If you are asking if the school counselor is the primary for ADHD-related concerns overall, that is probably not the best course in my experience. This is a long journey and you'll want to assemble your own "ADHD support team" where you are the head coach. Nobody will advocate for your daughter (in places in addition to school when necessary) like you will.
If you plan to use medication, I suggest getting a psychiatrist. Kiddos react different to different medications and you want a pro that understands it and deals with it 1,000 times a day. I learned that when my son started on Focalin and was somewhat zombie-like and experienced what I now know is hyper-focused episodes (not dangerous but scared the mess out of me at the time!). I called the pediatrician and they were asking me physical questions, not mental health questions. That is when I sought out a psychiatrist and it took 3 months to get in. And, even though I am a counselor, I found a counselor (outside of school) for my son so he could slowly learn about ADHD and talk about his experiences at school.
At the start of each school year I meet with his new teacher, explain that he has ADHD and is taking medication. I work closely with them to ensure things go well. I have been fortunate that he's had great teachers each year (this started in kindergarten, and this year he is in 3rd grade). However, if I had a teacher that didn't get it or was not supportive, I would do whatever it took to resolve the situation or move to another classroom.
This year was a doosy (3rd can be crazy so be warned if you aren't there yet!). So, this year I engaged the school counselor. We discussed what was happening (anger, frustration, defiance) and planned together. But, she has an entire elementary school with many kids with different issues. This is the case everywhere so, in my opinion, they'll likely have a smaller role, ironically.
These are ideas based on my experience as a mother and counselor. ADHD is a roller coaster ride, and I'm so thankful that I have a solid foundation with our psychiatrist and counselor.
How old is your daughter? Hang in there, it does get a lot better, and soon you will feel more grounded!
Thanks for the advice...I decided to try to get her an appointment at Kennedy Krieger (we live about an hour from the Baltimore area and a few of my friends who have children with ADHD have gone through them it seems) to hopefully get a more in depth assessment and hopefully recommendations for closer counseling options. I just wonder, depending on the waiting time required for appointments there, if I should start with the pediatrician medicinal recommendation, or just let it sit until I can get KKI to weigh in. It probably makes more sense to wait, but I don't want her to keep falling behind.
My daughter is 6 years old, but just a few months from 7. She is in 1st grade and her teachers have her in just about every intervention group they can. I guess my comment about the guidance counselor is more confusion, as the teachers were the ones who brought up the attention issues to me, they didn't seem to refer me to the counselor, but then the guidance counselor had to coordinate the assessment forms (which was from pediatrician, not from the school), and now that we have a diagnosis, I don't know if I should contact her to say "we have this diagnosis, can you recommend ways to help her at school?" She isn't being "unresponsive" to me, she just hasn't seemed to be involved at all, and I don't know if she is supposed to be or what?
Ah great. I definitely feel your concern. Long story short, my son should have been diagnosed at 5 but I didn't know many things then and we waited until he turned 6. His self-esteem is still recovering from that year (he's 9).
Gotcha about the school counselor. From what I've seen (limited), they wait for you to take the lead and facilitate needs. I worked directly with my son's teachers and that was sufficient until this year. That is when I reached out to the school counselor for additional support. I wanted her to be available to my son if he wanted more help (get out of class to calm down if needed). She told me she was starting a support group for kiddos struggling with behavior/emotion issues. My son joined that group which has been helpful.
I hope this helps. In the beginning, it was so confusing with all of the different professionals and their roles, etc. Ironically I had just started graduate school for counseling when my son was finally diagnosed. My journey with my son is why I'm focusing my new career on ADHD/ODD....very complex disorder. Best of luck to you and your daughter!
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Who qualifies for a 504 or iep? How to be prepared for the meeting with the school about this
