Hoping for a good school week - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Hoping for a good school week

Ericanason profile image
14 Replies

This past week has been my daughter's April vacation from school. The Friday before vacation I had finally put in writing the letter demanding my daughter be evaluated for a IEP or at the very least a 504 plan. (after her being denied either when I requested verbally twice this school year during meetings with the principal).My fingers crossed that this week I get some good news back and get this process going for her so she can start getting extra help and stop getting kicked out of class everyday due to her ADHD related behaviors. This has been her toughest year yet and her first year in middle school. The teachers just have absolutely no patience and it seems to me not one of them believes ADHD is a real thing. Everytime I speak with them and try to explain my daughter's behavior to them and say "ADHD" they speak right over me and continue on with the list of reasons why they do not allow my daughter to stay in the classroom and I say every last thing you just listed are all behaviors related to her ADHD and they just refuse to hear anything I have to say or anything about her ADHD. (which it's starting to seem like discrimination to me). But I'm praying since it is now in writing to the school and I also gave a copy to the school Dept that things turn around at school for her. Thank you to everyone that gave me advice with putting in a written letter to the school instead of verbally asking. This is my first time ever having to fight for my child's right to be aloud in the classroom and to be treated with respect and not yelled at and talked down to all day for having this. I could have never imaigned that this school year would have ever turned out like this. Elementary school the teachers were all so understanding of her and ADHD and worked with her had patience. This first year at middle school has been a complete nightmare. Her school starts at 8am there has been days at 8:20 she will call me and say the teacher already kicked me out of class. So I fly down there and say we are only 20 mins into the school day and my child is already not aloud to be in the classroom. If within 20 mins of school the teacher already feels that my daughter can not be apart of the class why am I even sending her? I ask what did she do to be kicked out and I get all the usuals they say she just talks to much, moves around alot, speaks when I didn't call on her, not focusing or paying attention well, she has even got in trouble for having a stress ball on her and squeezing it which was her ADHD doctors idea he told her that would be a good idea for her to get one and squeeze to keep her busy moving by squeezing that instead of moving around other ways distracting the class more. I'm sorry I feel like I'm going on and on but I have had it with this school and teachers jus thinking about everything gets me so upset. Hopefully this week I will have some good news to post. Hope everyone and there children have a great school week.

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Ericanason profile image
Ericanason
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14 Replies
Pisces945 profile image
Pisces945

So frustrating!! Try having your daughter’s diagnosing physician write a letter for a 504 plan to be initiated.

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to Pisces945

I'm very new to all of this not her having ADHD but having to fight with the school seeing how amazing elementary school went. Her ADHD doctor is the one that during one of her appts told me to request a 504 plan for her that he feels she needs one. So I did twice and got denied but both times I verbally asked. I had no idea this would be a battle with the school. Alot of parents told me to put the request in writing they can't ignore me that way I finally did. Tm afternoon we have a appt with her Dr I was thinking the same thing to have him write me letter stating he also feels she needs this.

Pisces945 profile image
Pisces945 in reply to Ericanason

Yes definitely get a letter from her doc with his suggestions for for your daughters 504 plan (extra time for tests, gentle refocusing such as a tap on shoulder etc). I can’t believe they are denying her a 504!! Did you contact the child study team? School counselor?

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Ericanason

Read this please. It might help.

understood.org/en/learning-...

Fight for your daughter.

Every Monday stress begins for me. I am at work, and constantly thinking about “ what will go wrong today at school”, when will they call me. I am exhausted. During last week, also spring break, we tried 2 new medications. I am full of hope... Good luck

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to Aniusia

Thank you so much and good luck to you guys as well. That is another thing that has been so frustrating is finding the right medication. She has tried out 4 different meds and tried different mgs on them and either didn't work well for her or really bad side effects. So far Ritalin ir then Ritalin xr Adderall then focalin xr. We have a appt today right after school to meet with her ADHD Dr to talk to him and try to find the right medication. I honestly would really like to give Ritalin a try again the only reason we stopped that was because she was saying that she was having headaches and she was relating it to the Ritalin but she still gets headaches here and there so I'm not convinced it was the med but other then that Ritalin treated her ADHD amazing. But I know exactly how you feel with all during the week thinking what's the school going to call about today or am I going to have to actually pick her up and take her home today. It's an awful stressful feeling. I hope we both have a good week I'm really feeling hopeful about this week as well.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Ericanason

Ritalin (Methophenidate 10mg) worked for as well for the first couple months, then the dose went to 20 and my son started to be very mean, irritable, just no fun to be around. We stopped and tried Adderal. It did nothing. Now he is on Abilify - mood stabilizer and 5mg methylphenidate for attention. I see an improvement at home. Today he got up at 6am , got dressed, prepared his own breakfast, brushed teeth. Omg!!! No fight in the morning!

I will see how school will go.

Anyway, try to reintroduce Ritalin. Did you do genetic testing? My son is a slow metabolizer, so now we know he needs smaller doses.

Deaniec profile image
Deaniec

I too have the same issues. My doctor actually wrote a letter requesting an IEP and the school denied it saying she doesn’t have a learning disability but a behavioral one. In the meantime she gets kicked out of class most days and spends it in the Dean’s office or I get a phone call when she’s in hysterics refusing to go to the Dean’s office. It’s been a challenging year to say the least. My anxiety level is high all day as I’m just & work waiting for that phone call. Just wanted to share that you’re not alone. Good luck.

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to Deaniec

Thank you for sharing seems like we're going thru pretty much the same thing. I wish I could say today went well as I was really hoping for. Everyday she is kicked out of class and gets sent to in her school in called "the focus room" (the room where the bad kids go to sit all day) but today not only was she kicked out of class but was the first time ever since she has been in school that they called and said pick her up we're not letting her finish the day. I of course asked what did she do that she can not finish the day the person I was speaking with said because she had slime with her at school and stuck her tongue out at a teacher. My daughter is 12 I completely agree sticking her tongue out is wrong and not respectful and I will definitely speak with her about that but to send her home for the rest of the day idk I jus feel that the school should be able to handle situations like this better. I was hopeful yesterday things would get better very soon not going to lie after today I'm feeling that I'm lost and don't know what to do anymore. On a slightly positive note she had a appt with her ADHD Dr right after I had to pick her up she was on 25 mg focalin and he suggested 20mg instead and see if this works better for her. She was having some side effects with the 25mg so he said maybe lowering her dose would help. She hasn't been on her meds for a little because I wanted to wait to speak with the Dr about everything. Praying things get better for you and your child as well.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Ericanason

Oh, I am very sorry. This disappointing hurts. I know that feeling well. I think you need to talk with a principle. They need to give you time to figure out how to help your girl. They need to recognize she needs help . Omg, will it ever get better???

My son got home from school and was throwing up. He never throws up so now I am worried it might be new meds side effects . I am so tired

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to Aniusia

Oh no you might be right I would think the same thing with him throwing up. It seems no matter how much we try to help our kids it is always something. Weather it's his new meds or not I hope he feels better. I just was checking my emails and an alternative school that is in our town for kids that are having a hard time in public school that I was looking into wrote back to me. The principal said to call him tomorrow so we can discuss everything. I'm excited that maybe this could be what she needs. I talked it over with her a few days ago if she would be ok possibly looking into a new school and she was all for it. So we will see if this goes anywhere.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Ericanason

Just remember, that IDEA doesn’t work in private schools. Good luck.

dredoug02 profile image
dredoug02

What teachers don't realize is that kicking a ADHD child out of class often is a recipe to ruin the child self confidence and plays into to norm that ADHD children are bad. My son is a perfect example. It took removing him from the school and month of therapy to help build up his self esteem.

Deaniec profile image
Deaniec in reply to dredoug02

So true. At this point, my child's self-esteem is in the toilets. Now I hear her mumbling to herself that she's stupid and bad whenever she gets something wrong. Where does it end!!

You didn't say, but is her doctor the primary doctor or a specialist?. My children doctor gave up trying to prescribed medications after medications and sent me to a specialist that specializes in ADHD . I'm also concerned about my youngest son who displays meltdown at school, disruptive behaviors/disrespectful behaviors. He has one more year in elementary school and like you indicated his elementary teachers throughout the years had a lot more patience with him then I believe will be in middle school then onto high school. Because the pace is a little faster and he's older and should know how to conduct himself in school by now. We will see, he has had a IEP since 4yrs old, he's 12 now. I considered home schooling, but being single and a working mother, it requires me to stay at home which is a no go. There's other home schools but it costs tuition.

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