Need advice

[Tgilbert]

Please help....I'm not sure if my son has it yet but his behavior is so hard to handle so I'm in the process of getting him help he just turned 4. Can anyone tell me any signs of behavior that goes with this??_He will be triggered with no response and other words hell yell at me hit me spit and say he hates me...after he calms down its like it never happened. I'm very lost and cry a lot because I don't know what's going on with him I'm very concerned. Thanks...,

[Vlomie]

I just had my 7 year old diagnosed.

There can be many neuro behaviors along with ADHD or it can be just straight ADHD (Don't let that scare you).

You are in the right step, testing. Talk with pediatrician, get him tested.

Looking back my kids have a lot of things that I now think of "aha", makes sense.

Constantly moving(not all ADHD kids do this).

Meltdown on anything negative, even if it was to ask him to put on sock so we could leave, or drink milk.

Throwing things and tantrums could last an hour or more, but after he would be calm and "normal".

Emotional Behavior was like kids younger than him, although he is extremely smart.

Major sleeping issues.

Had to keep schedule and be consistent or melt down.

There are tons of other markers to look at.

What I would do in the meantime, is look up ADHD info on small kids, tips and tricks to make your life easier. Sensory help and tricks ect.

#1 positive rewards, try to stay away from negative, but be positive when they accomplish good behavior. Sticker charts. Don't ever take away anything they've earned, and make sure rewards are immediate.

#2 I've noticed too much stimulation gets my boys in meltdown mode. Electronics, parties, classrooms, me on phone, ect.

#3 they don't have self soothing, processing disorder of how they react. They have exact emotions as everyone else, smart ect, but usually unable to regulate emotions, so we have to do it for them until they have developed and learned the tools to do it (years).

#4 they see everything, everything! So all that info overwhelms them and you get your meltdowns.

Hope this helped some. Pinterest has info on tricks, preschool ADHD info helpers on there too, for your house. Calming areas ECT.

[Tgilbert in reply to Vlomie]

Thank you

[vickimad]

This sounds familiar, meltdowns over socks and milk are exactly like my house.

Routine, structure and rewarding positives have made major impact on our life, its a hard slog but it can be done, We are waiting for medication now to help our son, but small improvements can be made it's tough but hang in there

[KKMom]

Yes, this sounds familiar. My son from when he was an infant was just different than I had expected. He was very difficult infant and toddler. He is almost 11 now and I too look back at the behaviors he displayed and wished we had found help prior to school age for both us and especially for him. We are in a much better place once you have help with dealing with situations. I have learned not to blame myself as much and to not take his behaviors personally. I also have learned not to listen to other parents has many of them have no idea what it is truly like. On their worst days, that can likely be our child's best days.

We finally got help when he started Kindergarten as he was kicked out of school and spent alot of time outside of the classroom due to his disruptions. We tried many other things prior to medication but at the end of Kindergarten and lots of testing, we determined medication was best for him.

One of my "aha" moments is the executive age of an ADHD. At 11, my son's ability to regulate his emotions, behaviors, etc. is about the age of a 6, 7 year old. He still throws temper tantrums which includes kicking and screaming on the floor when he is upset about sometimes what you think is the smallest of things. He also as Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and anxiety to add to the mix which can be common to have a mix of other mental health issues.

There is a better place. It is not the end of the road by any means but it can be better. My son is doing great in school now with the help of an IEP and a very supportive team including the school around him. He works hard and is almost a straight A student with some modifications for reading. Due to his mental health issues, he has some very positive things about him. He is very determined, he strives for perfection (which can be both a positive and negative), he is very creative, and kind when his emotions are in check.

Blessings to you and your families journey!

[Tgilbert in reply to KKMom]

Thank you