ADHD Parents Together
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Need advice

Hello I’m New and I just need some advice. I have an 11year old with ADHD nd I’m having the hardest time with I’m getting ready for school. See I’m a single mom nd I work long days. Some times I’m not home from work till past midnight nd then I have to wake up in the morning nd basically hold his hand as he gets ready for school. Is there ever an age where all I would have to do is just wake him up and he gets ready on his own? I just picture him in high school nd I’m still telling him the steps of getting ready. It’s like he has to play every morning nd some days it’s tiresome. Nd my son has tried all medications with different dosages I hate that he’s on them but without them he barely able to focus in school nd his studies nd he’s a straight A student. I guess I’m at my wits end and don’t kno what to do

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Man that’s tough. Kudos to you for doing what you have to for your family. I’ve heard that visual aids help with these sort of things. You can print small cards with the steps he needs to follow, like wake up and take a shower, then one for eating breakfast, then brushing teeth, then getting dressed, etc.

The other thing you have to do is step back and make him do it himself. Start on the weekend and make him get himself dressed. He’s 11 so he’s probably more than capable of doing it, but likes the help you provide. My son is only 5 and would have me helping him get dressed forever if I would allow it. Explain that he’s old enough to do it on his own, and then make him do it. He will probably whine and cry, but you have to make him act his age. Tell him he can do something he enjoys after he’s gotten ready, not before, and stick to it. Good luck.

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Great response.. I was going to recommend the same things. Hang in there. You're a great mother.

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One thing I would add to the visual reminders would be to get a timer or have a clock where he can see it. Many ADHDers have difficulties with managing their time. Their sense of time is a bit off. If my son didn’t have a timer his showers in the morning would last forever. When the timer goes off it’s time to move down the list. Also try to have him get as much done the night before, as possible. Before he goes to bed have a list of things that should get done ( showered, clothes ready, lunch made, back pack ready to go, etc). After a while - after following the routine it will get better. Good luck !

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Yes, timers are so helpful. We have one of the old-timey ones that you turn the dial to set. They’re only a couple dollars at Walmart, but super helpful.

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You kno what. The time thing sounds like an good idea. That would help him stay focus so he can move quicker. Thank you

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Thanks. Yea I do a chart but I constantly have to to remind him to look at the steps over and Over again because his attention span leaves in less than 1 min or it takes 20 mins to do each step. We wake up at 5:45 just so he can be out the door at 7:30 because it takes that long. I’m just afraid it’ll be like this thru hs. Also I implemented an award system for good behavior at school.

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I have not read the other responses. I wake my son up an hour early to take his med. He sleeps for another hour at which point med has activated. It is easier for him to get ready.

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