I am new here and I'd love to thank you very much for sharing your experience here, first of all.
I do not suffer from depression or anxiety at least as far as I think but I am here because I am really in need of advice - one person who is very dear to me does have a depression. I've known him for about 3 years but I have just found out that he actually suffers from depression. I think we both were quite good at sabotaging our friendship and relationship. He's done that as he says because he was rejected many times before by people. Last time the pause in our communication was really long. I had a feeling that as far as he keeps blocking me out of his life from time to time I really should just walk away and move on. This time that we kinda resumed our communication I promised first of all to me that I will not go away but in about 2 weeks after we reunited he did that again - just stopped talking to me. I tried my best to show him that I want to be supportive but that I also need his help in that, that I want to be there for him not actually asking for anything in return but just because he matters a lot to me. It certainly hurts me to know he has to go through this.
I've read a lot of comments on how one can help their family member or friend in such a situation. Many men many minds, obviously. One of my buddies who has a depression said once that I should just leave this friend of mine alone for the time when he feels bad like that. Other people on the internet say that socializing is what helps them a lot to cope with depression and to feel at least a little better... The thing is that I tried my best to be supportive, to show him that I care so I was probably too enthusiastic - I tried to talk to him, tried to explain that I am not going anywhere, that any moment he needs that I am there for him... He got angry, called my words absurd and accused me of stalking him.
Where is that fine line one should not cross? Showin that you care but not being imposing or a stalker if he chooses that way of describing that? I understand that in many cases one may really be unable to socialize but I keep emailing him from time to time to show that I am really not giving up on our friendship, that even with all these ups and downs I miss it a lot... No reaction so far. Had I been given a chance to undo the things I did wrong I would have undone them, I would have unsaid the words I had said before I knew about his problem. If, if, if... How trying to be supportive not to do more harm? How not to make one even more depressed?
I am trying to understand all that, trying to learn as much as I can... because he matters and because I do not want to lose him. Unfortunately now I am far far away so I cannot come and take him out for a walk so emails and mobile phone are the only 2 ways I can reach for him...
I'm sorry if I talk nonsense or cannot see the obvious things but I am pretty much confused. So any opinion is really appreciated a lot.