What's wrong with me

Hello I'm a 22 year old women I have a wonderful two year old son and a partner of 8 years but for quite some time now I've been feeling terrible my rage has just gone out of control I'm angry all the time my mood swings r ridiculous, I get angry over the smallest and stupidest things I'm lashing out at my partner. when I'm with my family I act As though everything is fine but it's really not I just can't bare it anymore I'm shouting at my son all the time an just feels like no one is listening to me.It takes me hours to get to sleep at night everything is just playing in my mind, my spending has got out of control I'm applying for credit cards and everything I've had headaches for months an completley lost my sex drive with my partner but then do think about sex with other men can someone please help

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  • Hi Seems we have much in common. Im a 47 year old man and Ive been married 20 years. I love my wife but I keep getting cross with her over stupid things. I have two sons aged 11 and 14 and Im always shouting at them. I just feel everyone is against me, even my wider family and friends. It is like they dont tell me things deliberately and my wife and kids wind me up on purpose. I also have bad mood swings like you. Sometimes Im ok but then suddenly get cross.

    I have seen my gp and I was referred to counselors but I still have this anger and negative thoughts. I wouldnt want to hit anyone and I havent done - have you done this. I cant get rid of these feelings. I even feel like this at work. I have had leave from work where Im on my own at home so I feel quite good. I do exercise which makes me feel good and listen to lots of music.

    If I do things to relax then this helps me overcome negative thoughts. This might help you. Good luck - you are not alone. Keep in touch.

  • Hi,

    I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time at the moment. I'm Sue and I can identify with so much of what you write! It sounds as though you love and appreciate your son and partner but that you are struggling with so much rage that it is too difficult for you to manage those feelings by yourself. That you feel on a spiral where things are getting worse and worse and that as a result you fear where it all might end up? I spent much of my life living with those feelings. Part of that spiral is beating yourself up about how you are not managing to cope with your feelings.

    The first thing you need to know is that the feelings can be understood and that when they are then things will begin to settle down a little for you. The spiral will begin to slow down. The second thing is the rage will have been entirely justifiable at the time of the events which trigger the feelings, although your life now may be very different. I think that is why you feel so awful for feeling so much rage, because you know you love your son and partner but despite that you feel you are being horrible to them and fear where it all may lead.

    You do not say whether you know what the rage is about. If you do know then I think it will help you to begin to talk to someone about the issues that are making you enrgaed, if you don't know then I think you need to be able to talk to a trained counsellor or psychotherapist. Cognitive Analytic Therapy can be very useful for such uncontained, wild feelings, as it can enable you to look, with the therapist, at the issues that bring up such feelings and the fears that accompany them. Do consider seeking such help as I think it will quickly ease your concerns. I found the therapy cleared my headaches, which are caused by the effort of trying to understand your feelings by yourself. I also found therapy reduced my rage and although I could still anger I no longer needed to lash out as a result of feeling I was coping with the feelings by myself.

    I do hope you find what I have written helps a little and wish you peace.

    Suex

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