what's wrong with me?

[ImBroken]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this kind of thing and I'm hoping someone can help me find out what problems I've got. I hope you don't mind but I'd like to stay as anonymous as possible so all I'll say is that I'm a boy in high school. I had a vitamin D deficiency and I was also previously diagnosed with social anxiety, but I feel that might not be the case. I've read articles about it and I find it hard to relate with other people's experiences and I've realised most symptoms don't apply to me. I was seeing a counsellor regularly for a year and CBT (which I've heard is the best "cure") isn't really working on me. I'm seeing a therapist in 2 weeks when I'm back home (i'm at a boarding school and it's hard to see a therapist without other people knowing) to get a diagnosis. I suffer from what I think is SAD, in addition to mild depression, a bit of paranoia, anti-socialness (i want to be social but find myself drifting away from others), trust issues (even with my own parents and brother). In social situations I find i tense up sometimes, I can also be completely calm but all the time my mind goes blank for ideas to carry on the conversation and the chat goes dead. Because I haven't found a solution to these I've found that I've slowly shrunken away from people and become more reclusive, and I've also become very passive aggressive to the point that I'm bullied a bit (which says a lot because I could beat any of them in a fight I just can't be bothered to do anything). I know this is quite long and a pain to read, so thanks if you've got this far. It means a lot that you've cared to read this and if you've got any suggestions, please let me know.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello to you Imbroken,

Firstly let me say I am sorry that you feel like you do and that you don't seem to have the support from your peers that you need. Although you don't say your age, I guess you maybe under our age range which is 16yrs and over. If so then unfortunately you would not qualify to be posting on this community.

However having said this I do want to point you in the direction of some assistance.

Is there any counsellor you could see in school until you can get home? Or can Mum/and/or Dad help in the meantime?

There is a website, which I will include below that you could look at for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Also NHS and Mind are helpful too.

Good luck to you and don't struggle through on your own please ask for help.

sada.org.uk/

Mind - mind.org.uk Tel: [phone] or Text 86463 - 9am until 6pm Mon - Friday.

stopbullying.gov

kidshealth.org/bullies

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse.

[ImBroken in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you for the links. There is a counsellor I can see I'm just struggling to find time. I am over the age of 16, as an admin are you able to check for proof?

[Hidden]

ImBroken

As explained above by MAS we are unable to discuss illness with people under sixteen years old. However you are having two different mental health pathways and hopefully you will be able to gain assistance and understanding from those Mental Health Professionals.

However I will say many sufferers lack confidence at school and this can be picked up and negative expressions to suffers can cause problems and that needs to be addressed.

Contact your Housemaster if something like this is happening, also have words with your Health Professionals, they can help you and can also help if you are having problems with any part of your Education.

Sad to say my education was very fraught and I had to try and move on under my own steam. I wish you well and hope you are able to move on at school

BOB

[ImBroken in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the support. I will get in touch with a counsellor soon, I'm just busy and struggling to find time. I know I was vague in what I wrote earlier, but I am over the age of 16

[Hidden in reply to ImBroken]

ImBroken

Good Luck, we are here to chat when needed

BOB