Hello. So I will be sharing what I have been doing since graduating college and some of my plans for the future and I would like to get some advice on how to deal with my depression. So I am 22 years old from the U.S, graduated from college with a bachelors degree in geography(3.615 GPA) in January 2016. Its almost one year since I graduated but I have yet to find a stable job. Luckily I still live with my dad and he is able to support me. So in short, I have 1 part time job experience(2.5 years) and 2 internship experiences but still struggling to find a job.
So originally I wanted to work in the environmental management career field(why I took geography as my major as there are many environmental studies involved) because I've always loved nature and wanted to help contribute the world by managing the environment. I did a relevant 3 month internship over the summer of 2015. But this didn't seem to help me get a job at all. I've applied to at least 100 companies related to environmental management/conservation but not one even called for an interview. Then I started applying to companies that were completely unrelated to what I studied in college. One company called for an interview and I got hired on the spot. This was 2 weeks before I graduated too. It was an administrative/sales type job where you work in the office the whole day. Now I actually hate these office type jobs as I am an outdoor person and love to work outside but I had no choice to take this job because there were no other jobs that would consider me. But I only lasted a month here. I could not deal with the stress from my bully boss and sitting in front of a computer the whole entire day. It just wasn't for me.
So having no luck with environmental management jobs nor an office related job, I decided to look more beyond in the environmental field and found horticulture(gardening/plant science) as one potential option. So I became interested in that and started researching a lot about it. I couldn't believe it. This was something exactly what I wanted to do. Which made me think why I never considered horticulture before as my career path. So I somehow was hired at a botanical garden as a horticultural intern(paid). I believe the reason why they wanted to hire me was because of its relevancy with my previous internship I took in 2015 and I looked and sounded very passionate in the interview. I was extremely happy they were able to give me a chance to work in the horticultural field. So this internship started in April 2016 and it just ended last week. Which is why I am starting to become depressed because I currently have no job now. Of course I am vigorously searching for one now. However, good news is that I found what I wanted to do in my career and know what I want to pursue. After completing this internship, I gained some skills on plant management+techniques and I also developed a deep passion and love for plants so I decided to go after a career based on that. So starting from January I am scheduled to take some courses on horticulture at a very well known horticultural school. Once I complete all 9 of the courses, I will be entitled a horticultural certificate. I hope this helps me get a full time horticultural job. After receiving the certificate I will aim to become a professional horticulturist. How I will do that? There is an exam for that and you need to pass. Its like how you take an exam for CPA. If I pass this I will receive the title of a professional horticulturist. But anyway, next spring I plan on working at a plant nursery part-time while I attend the school to gain some more experience in horticulture. Ultimately, I want to either open up my own nursery business or start a business from home growing plants and selling them. So basically, I want to make a living out of growing plants and selling them.
So theres my story.. but I'm just feeling so down and depressed because I should have started working as a full timer right after graduating but its taking so much time to achieve it. I see many other people my age already working full time and it makes me feel like I'm the only loser with no job. I feel like I'm going to be poor forever and not be able to raise a family and everything... And I don't even have a part time job right now, although I am searching and applying to bunch of places. I do have anxiety and depression and taking zoloft 50mg right now but the depression seems to be persisting. Should I be depressed about this? Or am I overthinking too much just because of a job that I haven't found yet?