Hi. I'm new here, I'm not exactly sure how this works and I haven't posted how I feel on something like this before.
I believe I've been depressed since I was around 11 years old, I'm now 17 and I feel like it's worse than ever. I left school a few months ago, which wasn't the best feeling as I felt like I actually had support there, especially leaving with not the best exam results due to how my depression was making me feel. I went to college and I felt the same so I made an appointment with the doctor. I waited around 2 weeks for an appointment, I eventually got one and I got told that if you're under 21 you can't be given antidepressants because they apparently make you more suicidal. The doctor went onto saying/suggesting that I should move away from where I currently live as according to him, many people in the same environment as me feel the same way. I felt like he didn't bother to actually look into how I feel nor help me in any way, I already feel like everyone is fake. I went on my own and it was hard for me to do that. My sleeping is messed up, I'm constantly over thinking, barely sleeping then when I finally fall asleep I end up sleeping in. I mentioned this to my doctor as I was missing college a lot which is what happened at school and I was given a warning about it. A week after this, I ended up being kicked out of college due to my attendance. I feel like I have no motivation at all.
I'm suicidal. I've self harmed in the past and I really don't want to get back into that situation. I've tried some sort of counselling when I was younger, however I feel like that didn't help me.
I don't see a way out anymore and I feel like my life is completely pointless. I've never asked for help and the one time I do, no one bothers. I'm wondering if there's any point making another appointment, just to be told the same thing.
I'm not sure if anyone bothers to reply but if anyone reads this, please give me your opinion and some advice. I'd really appreciate it.