I should have turned to u

I have been so lost with depression, my depression is serve at moment I've fallen apart this week. I've been hallucinating and hearing voices. Like my earlier post I am ashamed to admit that. I'm not some crazy women, some fruit cake. .... I'm still me! Still the same ole Claire. Just sometime I may ask strange things that aren't there and look high and low for my partner coz his been calling my name. This week while in shower I heard voices. It's been a few weeks as I thought it had stopped as my meds had started to work, I was scared .. frightened and I fell apart big time. Couldn't get through to crisis team (what a surprise!). The next evening I went to jazzisize came home, home unlock, tv on, No partner. I panicked. I go myself in such a state in 3 mins going in the road turning round and round and no one there. I felt I was being pulled into a big black hole. I felt helpless as I started to take my meds.

Fi3h who I talk to on here. We usually have a chat every day. Has made me think ... I should have come to u guys for support or I could have come to her in my hr of need. But I haven't been good in asking for help, since my mum died 11 yrs ago, as No one has really been there.

Sorry fi3h and u guys for letting u down. More importantly I've let myself down. Time to rebuild 🙂 and get back on track. It's NOT happening again!!!

3 Replies

  • Hi Claire. Why on EARTH should you feel shame when admitting to certain things. There is NO SHAME admitting to hearing voices and hallucinating. None. Don't allow society's stereotypical thinking cloud your inner judgement please. You're simply currently unwell. Period.

    Also, I also think it would be wise to refrain from using such terms as: "crazy women, some fruit cake". These descriptors are derogatory, disrespectful and offensive Claire. These are the terms that unenlightened people outside of this forum use to describe people ... like us. Ordinary everyday folks with mental health concerns that are mostly treatable.

    I am so pleased to hear that you're somewhat better, I really am ☺ It's also great that you have such a good friend here who watches out for you.

    Claire, to me, your current state of mind is situational. It can be remedied but it needs work and personal commitment. Darlin', you NEED:

    1. A GOOD GP who will monitor you weekly;

    2. A Psychiatrist who can dispense meds;

    3. An experienced bereavement counsellor. Maybe this person can also help you problem solve with you regarding your partner and father.

    From what you have written, your partner in non-supportive. In fact, he appears to be a major cause for cocern. THAT individual will in NO shape or form help you to get to a better place mentally Claire. Your father may be able to assist, so dig out that courageous spirit I know you have and TELL him what your needs are. Go and have a meal together or a coffee and just ... talk. Don't mention anything else including the other woman.

    You didn't let anyone down Claire. We here understand, we sincerely do. We also care. Very much. And that shows in the quality of various responses by quite a few people here.

    For now, rest and take it easy. Dream about what type of life you'd like ... and then put paper to pen and plan some manageable goals to realize them. Don't over-think or ruminate. That's not allowed missy! ☺

    Post here as often as you need to, k? The folks here will help and support you as much as is humanly possible.


  • Bless you been there nd it's awful still panic like mad re health etc

    I hope you are a bit better

  • Hi... This is okay to feel... You lost your mom. I still remember my dad and cry all the time. You are at least trying to talk to people about it. Feel better, big hugs.

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