Im slipping, Im falling... (New)

The scariest thing is knowing what you ought to do, but there are voices battling for who should be the loudest. Today although it is yet to finish, has been one of those days... Ive seen better days.

Currently signed off work with depression. I am 35 yrs old, with a teenage son. Work stress piling on, money a struggle, no family close enough to lean on. Meds doing what they should, but it all feels like a loosing battle. My days are becoming longer and longer, I manage to fell asleep at 4.30am, I barely cook, or have the energy to do the things I would like to do. Increasingly I want to end it all... but the voices keep circulating.

I feel stuck (horrible feeling) I hate feeling so desperate, but here I am reaching out for someone to catch me. Hear me, give me some advice. I know Im not alone in my thoughts, but you see I’ve been down this road before. Suffered with depression from the age of 11, suicide attempts after the other, I know there must be a reason that Im still alive. Life has treated me well in parts, Ive been graced with some remarkable seasons. Its just so frustrating to find myself on this familiar road. I know there are choices I need to make, but Im all alone (physically) and it would seem like no one can help me out of this rut. I want to win for my son I want to fight for our future. I am desperate....

4 Replies

  • Hi there, you are not alone.

    Would you mind me asking what your diagnosis is from the doctor? Im not an expert obviously but if you are hearing voices it sounds more than just depression to me.


  • Hello, I'm glad you found us. We can be your support for as long as you like. All of us have been through something similar although depression is different for everyone. We can't diagnose, but we can tell you what has worked for us, or not worked. For me anti depressants and therapy have worked well. Meds can take up to 6 weeks to kick in and then you may need an increase or decrease, another 6 weeks, so be patient.

    Give yourself a break with the daily chores. It won't hurt to have cereal for dinner, or pizza, or let your son learn to cook. He would probably love it May be it's time to depend on him a little. Tell him some of what you're going through, he probably has an idea any way. This could be a chance for him to feel like a help instead of a burden. Kids like to feel needed.

    Count those small mercies in your life, I know your life is hell now , but you have your son, a job, a place to live, and I imagine there's more. You will get past this. As for those voices in your head listen to the positive ones , tell the negative ones to shut up. Tell your Dr. about the voices if you haven't yet. Hope to hear from you again, Pam

  • Hi there

    I'm sorry to hear about your problems and that you're so desperate.

    Hang on in there for your son and for you. You know you can, you've done it before! You know deep down that the other option is not a good one.

    I have a friend who attempted to do that and didn't succeed and is now so ill and in a whealchair and worse off.

    Can you concentrate on one thing at a time instead of everything.

    If you overcome one issue, I find it gives you hope and confidence that you've managed to do one thing and that you can tackle another - and so on.

    I know you're on meds, but do you think that maybe you need to see your dr and ask to talk things over with a councellor to get to the bottom of it?

    Try and think of one thing each day that makes you happy, maybe just that it's a sunny day, or that your son is well etc.

    I know how you feel as I've been there more than once, but we can win. One day at a time.

    Good luck and best wishes.

  • Hang on in there, things will turn a corner. Be ever so kind to yourself and let yourself off I should be's. Treat yourself like you would someone else who was feeling the way you are. Be empathetic to yourself not harsh. Listen to the things that build you up not tear you down.

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