Right now I'm in self destruct mode. I don't feel like I can cope atm. Noone cares if you're not stood on the edge of a bridge threatening to kill yourself. I phoned the Leeds IAPT and they said that someone would be in contact with me in 1-3 days because I didn't want to go into hospital again and I only got a letter through the door for an assessment on the 8th of April. Abit crap to be honest. I feel completely fobbed off when I phoned them 2 weeks ago. Can't even phone me to see of I'm okay or to speak to me. I just don't know what to do or think. I feel like I'm a burden on everyone in my life. I want to quit my job and disappear. I'm so fed up in not feeling myself and not being able to help myself.
My best friends and partner put themselves out to help me and cheer me up but nothing works and I feel like they're gunner give up on me if I don't cheer up soon. I'm sick to death of this feeling I can't seem to shake myself off and feel good about anything.
I might just go to hospital and just tell them I'm gunner kill myself because that seems the only way out of this black hole.