Never the first choice

The truth is the truth. Just because you cover it up with a lie doesn't change the truth. My mom thinks it was very loving and noble of her to cover up her actions that she knew would upset me and then called me unappreciative when I found out what she did.

On my part, I feel hurt because she knew I would be upset and she still chose to go ahead with it, except she had the decency to cover up. The verdict was still the same: I'm never her first pick.

Yes, it's a small thing: blowing me off to have dinner with someone else after she'd promised me already. She knew I'd feel hurt so she chose to lie to me.

It then led to argument ending with her deciding she can do whatever she wants and I'd just have to deal with it whether I like it or not. She's right of course; nobody can make me feel what I feel unless I let it. I know that. Doesn't mean I feel it!

I have a huge resentment towards my parents for bringing me into this world because why would you give birth to me only to not be there when I need you?

1 Reply

  • Hi. I'm sorry about what you went through with your mom. It sort of confirms my theory that not all people are equipped or well-adjust enough to be a parent. At least to be a proper parent. I believe all parents screw up their kids one way or another without even realising it. Selfish or uncaring parents are obviously the worst.

    However, I don't know your mom so I cant judge her really! Maybe she's as bad as you say she is...or maybe she isn't and you're biased against her. Either way, I hope you can move past this whole thing and just accept things the way they are. It's all out of our hands anyway. All we can do is to not let it get to us and put us down. It is hard I know but not impossible.

    I wish you well and good luck with everything.

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