Advice

Hello I just found this website and was hoping for some advice.

I am 21 years old and I think I may be depressed. For the past 8 months I have not felt myself. I have had little energy no matter how much sleep I have or don't have as well as no motivation which really is not like me. Over the past 8 months things have kept adding up.

I feel anxious when I leave the house and feel better when I'm in the house but even speaking to family is sometimes such an effort. I just want to be on my own. I want to do things with my friends but I just can't be bothered at all I just want to chill on my own. I feel emotional for no reason at times and have even cried. I'm

Not a person who cries often at all, sometimes I just want a hug, to be alone, and sometimes I don't even know myself what I want.

I don't have much tolerance for people and even harmless jokes and banter are a massive chore to laugh and join in.

I am at uni at have a small part time job and have even considered giving this up as I just cannot be bothered to do anything.

I feel so sad all the time over nothing apparent, it is just my general mood all the time and I just feel trapped by my own brain. When someone tells me to cheer up I just feel angry and even worse because it's not out of choice. I can't help feeling like this at all.

I have known for a while that something is not right but I don't think I want to admit that there may be something wrong. I worry about the 'your so young what could you possibly have to be miserable about' perception as I have heard this so many times - not aimed at me as I have only recently told my mam how I am feeling.

Sleeping is sometimes difficult. I could sleep all day long but on a night it can take me up to 4 hours (on a bad night) to get to sleep but I do normally stay asleep through the night but getting up on a morning is a nightmare.

Like anyone things haven't always been easy but I have moved on from the things that haven't gone right and put my past behind me and there is nothing that I can think of that has happened to have caused me to feel like this for this long.

I just wanted some advice from others about what I should do as I don't want to get to the point of not wanting to get out of bed. I feel like I'm existing and that's it.

I have made changes in my lifestyle like cutting out any alcohol even though I wasn't a big drinker anyway. Maybe 3 drinks a week. I have changed my eating habits and stopping smoking but I am just feeling worse and worse as time is going on, I'm fed up of being so sad all the time.

Any help would be really appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.

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10 Replies

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  • Stay strong x

  • Hello Georgie

    Welcome to this site

    How long have you had depression ?, have you seen your GP and been given medication for Depression and been given a course of CBT ???

    I suppose being at Uni and also working can be hard especially if you are on your own . I know it can be really hard as I was the same in my twenties and I never felt there was anyone there for me either

    Can we help

    BOB

  • I just feel like I'm lost and I'm worried if I'm gonna feel worse.

    I'm terrible for bottling things and I think I hoped it was a phase and would go away on its own but I'm realising it's not going to happen.

    I've not been to the doctors yet I was wanting advice as to whether it sounds like I am depressed. Going to the doctors makes me really nervous but I think I need to.

    I have had counselling in the past for an unrelated issue. I had counselling and EMDR about 5 years ago.

    My mam and her mam and also my grandma from my dads side have had depression.

    I'm not a talker so I don't feel like talking therapy would benefit me as I've had this in the past, even though this was some time ago. I don't think that it's for me although I would give it a go but I just don't think it's for me

    I haven't been diagnosed with depression or anything I was just wondering if this is what it sounds like. I could be stood in a room full of my family and friends and still feel so isolated

    Georgie

  • The problem when suffering from Depression we get to a stage that we feel worse before we start to feel better.

    You do need to see a Counsellor or GP who can refer you as you can not deal with alone unless your family or friends are there to support you.

    We all feel lonely at times this is when we start to dwell on our past mistakes and mis-fortunes but thisis all part of our learning process to go forward in life, the obstacles we have to overcome to fight our way forward to learn new skills and meet new people.

    Push through the barrier from whatever is stopping you from moving forward be strong dont look back too much otherwise you will get bogged down with things that really don't matter and then you will worry even more. There is a bright future out there for you somewhere you just have to find it. Hope you find what you are looking for soon.

    I have a blogg on here to help others to move forward to be brighter future. Hope it helps you too.

  • Hello Georgie

    Only you really know if depression is a worry for you, generally speaking to know how you feel and the causes of your disability. will help you control it.

    With my depression it is basically caused by a Chronic Disability, You need to ask yourself what do I need and why I am suffering the way I do

    Generally speaking I do not know if depression is a genetic problem, I suppose it could be a self learning condition where you pick up from those around you.

    Generally I would advise you talk to a GP and He in turn could work out a treatment plan for you.

    Please do not dwell on your feelings, we are here to help and generally someone is always around for you to talk to, although remember we are all human and need sleep

    BOB

  • Hi George

    You're at uni and working and in a new environment structure to your life. You're doing well. And have done well. Your family are as proud as punch that you're now at uni studying to become...

    But are you happy is this really where you want to be? Are you at uni for you or your patents and family. What is depressing you? Do you need you change direction? Do you just need a little bit of support? Do you need some medication to tweak your thought process? Is it a chemical imbalance? Is it more your abilities than disabilities? Is it the time of year? Should you get out more... walk for miles in the sunshine? I'd it crap memories? Is it a feeling of inability to cope? Is it pressure to succeed? You may find it odd but actually analysing your reasons for low moods and putting them down in writing will actually help you. It works because once they are down on papet you no longer need to think of them. They are in a drawer already thought out. Give it a try and let us know how you are each day... We all have our ups and downs with depression. It's the constant happy medium which is so hard to maintain... Please keep us posted!

  • HI Georgie

    Please read my blogg about Depression

    The Way Forward simple exercises that may help you.

    You also need to speak to your GP and tell them exactly how you are feeling

    for them to help you.

    There are numerous reasons why we all get depressed and there are ways we

    can try and overcome the issues we have to seek a better life.

  • This is exactly how I feel but I feel like it's just a phase I'm going through but same again i've been feeling like this for around seven months. I keep hoping it will get better I am at uni and have a part time job also and have no motivation for anything.

    I don't know what to do, I feel I'm making a big deal of it and I am worried I may have depression.

  • Hi Georgie,

    I have just read your post. I'm sorry you've been feeling so low for so long. I am 21 like you - and suffer from anxiety which can eventually turn into something like depression. I don't know whether you have depression or not; it certainly sounds possible, but I would go to your GP and talk to them about how you've been feeling, and the symptoms you've been experiencing. They can also check for possible underlying medical causes (such as your thyroid). It sounds like you're doing all of the right things. But as your symptoms appear to be persisting in spite of your life style changes then you might need to try medication.

    I know you say you're not a talker but, and I think you said as much anyway, there's no reason to rule out talking therapy. When we're already low, problems can be really distressing and it might be of benefit to you to talk about any possible worries you have - confidentially - to help you manage in general and feel better able to cope. Maybe you could consider group therapy? I can see from your post you want some social interaction but you find it too challenging at this moment in time - group therapy can provide this without you having to worry about acting or putting on a front as you would in many social situations.

    With regards to your trouble sleeping - maybe exercise would help. If you physically tire yourself out, your body will be ready for rest and sleep should come more easily. I know it's easier said than done, but that's what really helped me with my sleeping. Also if you aim to go to bed at the same time each night and try to maintain a routine - this can help ensure a good night's sleep. I apply lavender sleep balm (you can get sleep balm from Boots) and read a good book before turning my lamp out. When we don't sleep properly we feel awful and the affects of persistent lack of sleep can mimic depression. I think if you're able to nail your sleep this will get the ball rolling.

    I really hope you're able to get the help you need and feel better soon. I'm just a message away if you ever want to chat. :-)

  • Hey Hun, 

    I really hope things improve for you!! I am in the same boat,things just feel like a cloud. In the last week trying to leave the house has been the hardest. Even sometime other people's joking about and laughing with each other irritates the hell out of you..unfortunately in one point in your life depression gets the better of us. Leaving the house today was awful I ended up crying in the pub when we was having Food. have you checked your vitamin D levels as this time year can leave you deficient which can lead to seasonal affective disorder?? Have you talked to your GPabout how your feeling?? Counselling can really help especially if you feel you can't talk to anybody?? (Really worked for myself). Or tried anything herbal for anxiety??

    If you need a chat you can message me anytime!! Stay strong!!

    Hope you get the help you need xxxxx

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