Soon I will be working even more daily spilt shifts at work. Yesterday night my boyfriend stayed for 3 hours before rushing home to his house cat. But we had a lovely night. Sincerely it was so lovely it made me remember how we first fell in love. How we could make each other laugh and smile - like no one else had ever could. One of those times spent together where you feel like you are the only two people in the world and time doesn't exist... Until the clock struck 1am and he had to get home ASAP as his cat didn't get its night treaties as per scheduled at 11pm.
I am partly speaking in jest but sadly not really. So he came over yesterday at 10:00pm picking me up from work. Knowing tonight I have the whole evening off! But I am pleased with myself for just accepting it. Before I had made a post about wanting to down the whiskey I have in the cupboard- but resisted by writing a post on here instead. And tonight instead of carrying on with house chores and feeling poorly about myself- I made myself comfy with a blanket and pillows and my iPad. And am considering splurging on a bottle of expensive perfume I really want to buy for me. So tonight I am winning over my anxiety and depression uncharacteristicly well.👏🏻😋
My boyfriend rang me to say he burnt his hand severely on the Barbeque with his mom. It was something to do with potatoes and shrimp- and a small rant against aquaculture and killing natural predators of shrimp in 3rd world countries. But it ended with him picking up a metal grill already heated by the gas Barbeque. I really feel bad for him. He won't go to the hospital even though he says himself especially his thumb received a very bad burn. If you knew him you know it must be bad for him to admit that. He is a diabetic and once fell asleep at a camp fire with his friends and burnt his boot and most of his heel off his foot.
I am kinda lonely I suppose. But happy I had a peaceful night and was able to relax a bit. I really never pictured life like this. Part of me feels very lame and pathetic to take such pleasure in making it threw this one evening without anxiety. But still I guess a victory is still a victory.
My partner takes care of helping me get to the shops to buy groceries and always is there if I ask him to go the doctor with me. But I just don't get why other than when he comes over here which nearly 100% ends in you know what- after three years he still doesn't want to hang out with me or spent time just relaxing and keeping company for each other. He always goes home to his huge flat screen television, his telephone, his mom and his cat. He said to me just today how he loves to come over to my home and how peaceful and quiet it is. But I am here now and he is not.