I still wanna be with my ex boyfriend

I've been dating this guy on and off for about 2 years now. And during that time we broke up twice, first time because he moved away and I ended up having a fling with another guy short term. (I broke it off with my ex because of other petty things that bothered me in our relationship.) So fast forward a few months later and we agreed to get back together. During the relationship I found out he was cheating (with the same girl he dated after we broke up last time.) and as a result of him being a scumbag I caught a STD. So I decided to end it and dump him again! I lost my trust for him and I was very hurt. Our break up was bad this time around. He tried to get back with me right after it happened and I declined his offer. When I turned him down I later found out that he got back with the same girl and decided to date her again. So almost a year later (I'm still single) he comes back to me begging for another chance to be in my life. (Not surprised that he and that girl separated, he left her) We did hangout like twice and the feelings I have for him never really left and came flooding back all at once. I really care about him, but I'm not exactly sure I want to be back with him again. I do and I don't. I'm so confused like I'm afraid he'll give me another std, I don't trust him, but I still like him. He's all I've known these 2 years. I don't want to get hurt like that again. We are friends now and I'm trying to put that behind me. Should I be with him again or move on? I want to give us once last chance! 3 strikes your out! Should I go back to him and work things out or should I just forget about it and tell him he had his chance but messed up were done for good? I'm not sure if it's smart to get back with someone who gave you an infection. It'll take a long time for us to get back to how it was in the beginning. We are not perfect and relationships has it's ups and downs. I'm battling between heart and logic :(

8 Replies

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  • My opinion; don't get back with him. These "on and off" things never work. You need to find a guy you can trust. Although the sexual chemistry is there that is by no means enough and the rows will start again and the mistrust. You already mistrust him because you are worried he will give you another STD;so stay just friends and move on.

  • I think you are mad to want to try again - after all this is the guy who had an affair and gave you an std. You will never be able to trust him and without that there is nothing left. He will do it to you again coz guys like this don't change. By dropping him and moving on you have much more chance of meeting a man who is worthy of you. How can you still love him after what he did? Ok the good might be good but it isn't enough to compensate for the bad is it? x

  • You're thinking of the good times & imagining future possible good times. Hey it may happen so if it's what you want then go for it. But (of course you knew there'd be a but) you go into it with your eyes wide open. Forgiving someone of infidelity is easy, forgetting is not. The hurt & lack of trust will be a problem for you for a period of time which could even be for years. You each have to acknowledge that & expect that & work at getting beyond it separately & together. The fact that he gave you an STD is neither here nor there in my mind. Yes it was bad but it was down to bad luck. The fact that he slept with someone else is what is wrong. The way you make it sound is that had he not been unlucky & got an STD then the cheating is not as bad? Whether he got an infection or not isn't the point. The fact that he slept with someone else is. I assume he only told you about the affair because of having to tell you about the infection? In which case you need to consider would he have ever told you? It's something that needs to be thought about before contemplating a reconciliation. Now I don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater but I do believe everyone has it within them to cheat, we just have to make sure we don't put ourselves in a position to do it. And the fact that he has done it & got away with it for a time is not a good thing. Has he changed enough as a person to be able to be trusted? What is he's view on cheating now? Don't ask him directly but in a round about way. You ask anyone directly I bet 9 out of 10 people will say it's wrong and I bet at least 3 of those 9 would either have cheated or are cheating & be ok with it.

    At the end of the day it's your choice but I would recommend being honest with yourself otherwise within the next few months or years you'll be back on here saying things like you did in your first post from the other day about getting hurt from guys in relationships.

    If you do let your head rule then you might have to cut all ties or at least reduce them for a little while until you have got him out of your system. How do you know when he's out of your system? When you can see him with another girl & not give a shit.

  • Hi,

    your heart always gets in the way in these situations. Personally, I wouldn't go back to him. Even though you miss him and feel lonely, you obviously feel like you won't trust him again.

    Plus, if it didn't work out the first two times, how will it wor out this time?

    Bottom line, he cheated. Maybe you hurt him the first time you broke up with him? If that's the case then you have both hurt each other and it would be incredibly hard to build up what you had in the beginning again.

  • Hello

    If trust is out of the window and the relationship lacks legs what is the point. The way you talk above all seems a habit and relationships do not work well under those circumstances look for someone else

    Mind that is my opinion. !!

    BOB

  • Hi there,

    I think that its hard being single and this is clouding your judgement, when we split up , we can sometimes Romanticise about the 'good times' and forget the bad.

    Do yourself a favour and save yourself from a lifetime of misery, move on and find someone who you can trust!

    Take care, learn to love yourself first, have some time alone, do things you like, get to know yourself!!

    Have Fun!!

    K x

  • Whatever your choice, be sensible and do not take the risk of catching another STD. Use protection or abstain. Then you will have learned at least one useful thing from all of this

  • I went back to my ex three times hoping things would change and they did not. I have learnt to never go back , always go forward.

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